So, me and my bf went out on a date today and I was wearing the heels he got me few days back. Now, I love heels but taking long walks in heels is something else for me. I cannot do that. I told him that just because I’m wearing heels I’m not able to enjoy the time with him as my feet are hurting. Not hurting in a way where I should just suck it up and stop being a baby but actually hurting enough to not let me walk straight. The road is also not as plain as someone with heels would like to be.
He says so many other girls wear heels and walk in it. God knows what’s wrong with you. He ignores and keep walking. I try not to mention it again but now my mood is coming down because A) I’m in pain and B) I just didn’t like that my partner didn’t care
So, I tell him that there is extra pair of shoes in the car. I just need to change into them, I’ll go anywhere with you after that. He cancels all the plans after that and decides to come back home. When I came home I saw that I had gotten so many blisters on my feet. I show him and he says, return them try to be little calm next time. No need to create a scene and go crazy???
Like WTF
tldr; my bf created so much fuss because I refused to wear heels while taking long walks
29 comments
Find him some heels in his size and tell him to just wear them around the house for a couple of hours. That should do it.
That sounds very toxic
Nobody should be able to control what somebody else wears
You might want to reconsider this relationship
Wow your bf sounds extremely immature. Time to also return him.
“These boots are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do, one of these days, these boots are going to walk all over you!”
Put your comfy shoes on girl and walk the fuck out of his life.
My boyfriend did not do a good job planning our anniversary so I had to walk far in 4 inch stilettos. I asked if we could stop by the store downstairs to pick up a pair of flip flops and he said “really? you have too many pairs of shoes” and basically shamed me out of being comfortable.
Your boyfriend is ignoring your needs and imposing an impossible standard on you. If he continues to do this in other areas of your relationship, I would re-evaluate.
I left my boyfriend. That night was the last straw for many reasons, but I realized he would never care about me and hadn’t cared about me for a long, long time.
You know that you’re being reasonable here. I understand that you wanted to check with other people to see if you were crazy/overreacting, but I think you already know in your heart that you are dating a jerk
He’s not the one babe! These are red flags you should keep in mind. Break up with him.
My bf doesn’t care if I wear sandals, crocs or nothing at all on my feet. He loves me deeply and would never want me to be uncomfortable for his sake.
Find a better man. Please.
I don’t mean to jump on the “leave him” train so quick but he genuinely doesn’t seem to care about your comfort.
When my husband was just my boyfriend, there were a couple of occasions where I was wearing heels and by the end of the night was starting to experience pain and he didn’t skip a beat in offering to carry me back to our car at the end of the night. He even began making it a point to remind me to bring a comfy pair in the car to events so I had something to slip into at the end of a night.
You deserve someone who cares about your comfort. Not someone who makes you feel bad about yourself when you’re already in pain.
Your boyfriend is a selfish controlling jerk. End of sentence. You need to break up with him ASAP.
Buy him a pair and tell him you expect him to wear them on dates from now on. That you need him to be in pain to be able to enjoy the date.
No, but seriously, just dump him. He’s clearly controlling and misogynistic. No need for that nonsense.
Don’t wear heels unless you want to wear them. It can cause a lot damage to your feet, in the long run. I am so happy that I don’t wear them anymore. He needs to buy a pair and walk on cobblestones before coming at you. Beauty is pain and you can choose to forgo it.
Every story I read on this sub makes me want to go into hibernation.
This won’t be the last time he dismisses your pain. Also, I’d buy him a pair of heels and make him walk around in them for the same amount of time as you, on similar terrain. Watch how his tune changes. Or he’ll just go on to talk about how he can’t do it bc it’s a women’s thing to deal with.
But seriously, that would be such a dealbreaker. He didn’t even feel bad when he saw your feet in blisters? It’s very much sounding like “Oh stop it honey, you’re being hysterical”.
He cared more about you wearing sexy heels to make him happy or turned on than the fact these heels were causing you terrible pain and physical damage. Stop making excuses for his behavior.
Info: why are you dating such a selfish ass?
Tell him that if he has bought you GOOD QUALITY shoes that FIT CORRECTLY, you might be able to walk comfortably in them.
He has NO concept of bodily autonomy, he doesn’t respect you, and CONTROL is the main goal of abusers. I’m 44 and I’m telling you as a women that wore heels for many years solid- this is in NO way ok. He wanted you in pain. Huge red flags for multiple reasons.
This is a bigger problem than just the shoes
– super controlling to try to make your partner wear what you want and trying to control someone’s appearance can be the beginning of more controlling behavior. My ex started like this and by the time I left he was trying to control every part of my life
– the whole other people wear these shoes for something like this you should be able to or something is wrong with you. Hes either gaslighting you or he’s too rigid to understand that different people have different feet and some could wear certain shoes longer than others.
– canceling the rest of the plans (even though you had a perfectly reasonable solution of changing into spare shoes) is basically punishing you for not complying to his demands
– him accusing you of “causing a scene” when in reality the whole problem was caused by him
Tldr: run
I don’t think your bf could have reacted any worse. WTF. Your feet were hurting. I would have princess carried you back to the car to switch you to the comfy shoes.
What an absolute asshole!
What I’m hearing is your partner tells you your pain and discomfort are essentially annoying, and that he is in no way going to offer you any grace or support in these situations. He will instead attempt to punish you by disappointing you, and try to paint you as a hysterical woman, who must have something wrong with her for not just quietly existing.
And this is just over shoes?
Get out before this type of behaviour comes out in a situation that is bigger than shoes!
As a married man who’s been in that relationship for 20+ years I can say for certain that I would rather my wife wear flats all the time. She wants to wear heels, she can. She looks great. But if she ends up with cramps and blisters, then forget all of that.
This may not seem like a big deal, but behavior like this will likely escalate to full blown abuse. I’m a social worker and worked for several years in domestic violence. I don’t know him and this may be a one off experience, but I doubt it. He likely blows up when he doesn’t like your response to things OFTEN if I had to guess. Please, leave now. You don’t need to find out how much worse it can get.
As a man
This is a no no
If my fiance were wearing heels and hurting
I would probably be first to suggest she change into something comfy
Hes being very insensitive and selfish
Dump his ass.
Who in their right mind would even want to go on walks wearing heels?! I love heels for dressing up, but not for hiking or long walks. That’s nuts. I can’t imagine my husband ever treating me the way your boyfriend is treating you, and if any man did tried to dictate to me like yours, cause I’d be gone in a heartbeat. There’s too many good guys out there that would treat you right. People here are giving you good insightful advise. You might should listen to them instead of being this dude’s doormat.
Honey, this is absolutely not your person!
Your person would have stopped walking. Your person would have gone back to the car to get your comfy shoes for you so you didn’t have to continue walking in pain
He didn’t give a shit about being in pain. He didn’t give a shit when you showed him physical injuries. The only thing he gave a shit about was how he felt when you told him…
Also, don’t let a man call you crazy
Your bf threw a hissy fit because you didn’t want to continue to indulge whatever little fantasy he was playing out in his head.
Okay.
Truth bomb.
I love my spouse and they love me. We also LIKE each other. And RESPECT each other.
The very lowest expectation in a relationship is respect. There is nothing resembling respect in your relationship.
Please ask your partner to physically put themselves in your shoes (that they love). Tell them if they can walk a mile in those shoes you may consider doing the same.
He doesn’t see you as anything but a sex accessory. Run away in those comfortable shoes!
Heels are NOT designed for long walks, particularly on uneven ground. Your bf has watched too many movies or is just not too bright. And instead of apologizing afterwards he was rude. Return him and the shoes.