in my twenties and a lot of times just blow up, get disrespectful with no filter, and want to fight. Its been a lot of pain to get here and anymore I just feel cold. It’s hard to contain what feels like a burn inside me. How do y’all get away from it?
Edit; thank you all for the feedback, going to take these words and work towards being a better man
19 comments
I take the time to think about the logical consequences of flipping out
“Does that solve the problem?”
Usually no
“Even if I flipped out can I get away with that no problem?”
Usually no
“Will people respect me more if I throw a tantrum?”
No they’ll make fun of me or hate being around me
“Would this be a good use of my time?”
I’ll usually only freak out if I can somehow get a mental yes out of all these questions
I quit reacting to that feeling and started observing it. I’d learned that I can shift the focus of my mind’s attention. So when I could sense those feelings either arising or being present, I would shift my attention to my breath, tell the other person I need some space. Then just walk away, and really focus on the sensation of the air flowing through nostrils, down your throat, and into your lungs. Do the same for your exhale. Just doing this for one minute intervals like 2-4 times a day will change your life, the more frequent the better of course lol. You can even say in your head, “I know I’m breathing in, I know breathing out.” Learning to use that for every time I was feeling enraged literally changed my life forever. When you can respond instead of react, take that moment to pause before you say or do anything. THAT is the magic ticket to master, doing that will provide you with a space to think about what you do next. Good luck.
Prayer
Quite honestly, there is nothing I care about except for my car that I care enough about to get upset over. I think it is all a mindset, I caught my wife of 24 years cheating on a Sunday, Tuesday I was in a lawyer’s office filing for divorce. She is an adult; she can live with her actions; I don’t have to. If you realize often getting mad plays into the hands of those making you mad, deny them of the desired outcome.
Someone mentioned meditation. I’ll add practicing “mindfulness” to that.
Plus that whole thing of “count to ten” – anything that’ll give you pause to think and relax in a “situation”.
Stop. Take a deep breath. Think of how others will perceive you for acting like an imbecile. Think of whether or not being aggressive will work out in the end. Then decide if flipping out is worth it all.
Took court ordered anger management class in 2001 and was prescribed Aripiprazole. I’m much more mellow now. Seek professional help before you get yourself in deep trouble.
Therapy and start thinking about the consequences of your actions.
>y’all
If you don’t have command over your emotions, the only thing that’s doing for you is handing control to other people. Any time you start to feel angry you need to insert some kind of cognitive loop in before the emotions take over. What’s the objective gain of throwing a wobbly? Usually nothing, unless it’s literally life or death.
Easy i have anxiety i dont need the additional stress, if its someone continously triggering me i dont keep it in my life.
Do you have an outlet? Gym or riding a bike while listening to music tends to help. I used to work in a close environment with people I didn’t like sometimes and I worked out in my late 20s I could either focus on being angry with them all the time or just get on with things myself.
Growing up as a teenager in Australia I had a mate who like yourself wanted to fight whenever we went to parties. He got seven shades of shit kicked out of him one night and put in hospital for a few nights. Best thing that ever happened to him, he got some sense knocked into him and realised what a dickhead he was.
Look at who and where you want to be, then think it through a little. I know it can be easy to want to spout off, blow up, etc., but in reality, more times than not it is not going to help the situation, and will probably make you look like more of an ass than anything. That is usually contradictory to most peoples’ goals when it comes to building a better life. It can be embarrassing, set you back, or eventually worse. You could end up in jail if it gets too out of hand. There is almost never an upside to it, and almost always a downside.
I played COD black ops Multiplayer…for real, I started out cussing out the monitor and after a time I learned to mellow out and not let minor or unimportant things upset me.
I keeping it under control by playing chill games. Like Arknights on bluestacks, my phone are pretty damaged so I using emulator (also because it have quick boot time). Anyway, anything that can occupy your mind or help you to relax – will work
I practice stoicism. I’m generally a really calm person anyway. I rarely flare out and even then it’s minor. I just somehow don’t see a point of getting angry about something. If it bothers me I just move on.
I got my ass kicked once pretty bad, and I deserved it. that seemed to slow me down.
Internalize it until I start my workout. Then everything comes out all at once, perfect free preworkout
I withdraw, I always say to my friends if I’ve gone quiet I’m probably angry and need to be left alone so I don’t say something I’ll regret.