As a guy who never had a relationship i feel like it’s like a green card to be accepted socially and if not then suddenly a creep radar can be activated in minds of a lot of women and it makes me tempted to just have a gf for the sake of it to not be considered abnormal or creepy automatically just cus i never had a relationship and it’s just using someone for your own sake and it will hurt someone’s feelings in the long run
It’s like you are considered weird or (abnormal?)
Is it really **SO ,so important for a guy** that without it you are just a weirdo? This is my genuine question for the women here and of course every women is different but in general i am asking this
24 comments
This whole post makes you sound weird, man.
I think age plays a great factor in this. I personally think that it’s a bit odd if a guy is a certain age and hasn’t had any relationship experience.
There is nothing wrong with you, the society is the problem.
If women think you are a creep or a weirdo after telling them you have never dated anyone then they are the problem not you.
The society needs to understand that we all have a life and we all have our own ways to live it.
But it seems that everything that is out of the standards it’s wrong even if it’s not affecting anyone.
No boy, there is nothing wrong with you and you will date someone whenever you feel ready, dont let anyone tell you what to do.
As a 24 year old girl that have never dated anyone I have had to deal with annoying people andhave got comments like that too.I have even got to the point of having to lie about being in a relationship just to not get weird and disgusting comments about being single forever.
Why are you seeking external validation?
Ive had women tell me that before
I wouldn’t care at all.
I know that men are sometimes insecure about this, and indeed I could see some women be bothered about it. Do know it won’t be everyone though, and honestly, what are you missing by dodging someone who is so superficial as to overrule every good trait of yours in favour of a silly prejudice? Some people just aren’t fortunate enough to find someone for a long time, in some cases they never do. Also, I personally find it off-putting to discuss previous relationships in the first dates.
Having said all this, if I ever found out you had dated someone solely to avoid a puerile social stigma I would be VERY bothered about it. That’s so immature. Please forget about that idea.
I don’t think there’s anything weird about it but I’m a little confused by your post. Do you want to date anyone? Because it kind of sounds like you aren’t interested in dating, but just don’t want people to think you’re weird.
I think when contemplating someone as a romantic partner, it could feel a little odd if you have had a number of relationships to date someone who’d be starting from scratch, just because we (usually/hopefully) learn a lot of communication skills and relationship lessons from our early relationships. But everyone who dates others has to start somewhere. If you do want to date, get on out there (and if not, then don’t worry about it, just keep on enjoying your life and friends!)
I wouldn’t particularly care whether or not you’ve had a girlfriend in the past. If after a certain age you’d never been in a relationship, I would be mildly surprised, but not turned off or creeped out in any way. It’s not a big deal.
Have you never dated/had sex or never had a girlfriend? Lots of men your age have never had a girlfriend but that doesn’t mean they haven’t had experiences with women.
Been single for 4 years. Met plenty of women whom I am now friends with. They didn’t realize I was single for an entire 4 years, yet they still accept me and enjoy my company whenever I’m around. Don’t need a girlfriend to be accepted. You need a good personality.
Guy here.
Women like men who can get women. Why? Because they it’s easy for them to recognize relatively universal traits that they’ll be attracted to. Plus, those guys know what they’re doing when it comes to women.
Your road is not hopeless, but I’m not going to pretend it’s easy. The longer you go, the older you get, the question of “what’s wrong with this guy” will weigh more and more heavily in the female mind.
That creep radar is not dependent on your prior success, but your prior failures are more likely to be because of being creepy (or just awkward) the longer you go.
Well just because you had a gf before doesn’t really mean you’re not a creep .. Soo I suggest take sentences like this with a grain of salt ?
I would be a little worried about a guy never dating anyone if he was past 28 (24 is fine in my opinion because a lot of life happens from 18 to 25).
For me, it’s nice having a partner who is wanted and approved to be safe by other women. I would be worried that a guy who was older and had never been in a relationship, might be desperate or too clingy. I’d feel more of a responsibility too, especially if I was his first for a lot of things. Too much pressure.
Important thing is accepting yourself.
Preselection bias is real.
Every guy who has ever been married or in a committed relationship has noticed that suddenly interested women start coming out of the woodwork once you’re cuffed up.
I don’t care if someone hasn’t been in a relationship. I haven’t, but I am actively on a dating app. And I have gone out to dates.
For me, it probably would be a problem because having experience with relationships is more of something that makes you grow personally while doing. I made so many mistakes in my first few relationships that really helped me become who I am today. It helped me understand how certain things should be handled, what’s appropriate and what isn’t. What you should be willing to accept and what you shouldn’t.
I see people post on here about a relationship being their first and sometimes people are really lost because they haven’t been in a relationship before. They don’t know what’s normal or acceptable. Obviously lying and cheating is bad, but other issues.
I don’t think anyone is a creep for simply not having dated, but I still don’t want the extra trouble of someone who has 0 dating experience.
Why do you think married guys cheat so much? You can hold a sign up saying you are sucessful and single, theyll walk right by you, and go for the married guy with all the drama involved. Sorry kid to ruin your day…
Unfortunately people do sometimes judge men who have always been single, especially once you get to a certain age. People want to know “why”. Imo you don’t owe an explanation, it is what it is. I’m 26 and have only ever been single so how can I judge. But maybe it’s viewed differently to be a single woman.
I wouldn’t say people will automatically call you a “creep” though. Just more of a “hmm that’s different”.
There’s nothing wrong with never being in a relationship. It would be weird to date some just for the sake of dating someone. If you have no interest in dating, that’s fine! Toxic monogamy culture will make it seem like you don’t have value unless you’re with someone, but humans are complete beings all on their own. If you’re happy solo, that’s great!
No, it’s only weird if you mix it with another red flag of some kind.
If you have some confidence and decent communication / social skills, it’s totally fine.
Talking about dating someone for the sake of appearances when you have no genuine interest in that person is a major ick. No one deserves to be used like that.
I am gonna be honest with you, yes it is important that the guy has some relationship experience.
That also varies with age – like if a 20yo never had a gf no one would bat an eye, for a 25yo it’s a bit strange but ok, if it’s a 32yo my alarm bells are going off.
There are a few reasons for it – the first being experience. It’s like driving – do I want to be in the passenger seat with you when you take out the car for the very first time in your life? No, because there’s a good chance you’ll crash it or mess up in some way. I’d rather get in the car with an experienced driver.
Experience also help in maturity and perception. As you go from one relationship to the next, how you see the world changes a bit and if you’re smart you’ll learn from it. I see this a lot on Reddit – people just posting the most surface level advice thst tells me that they’ve never been in a relationship because their advice has no nuisance.
Another reason is opportunity. We as women are taught, and this is our experience too, that men are the ones who are always more interested in starting a relationship (women are too, but we have our own set of issues that stop us from being too eager. That’s a discussion for a different day). So by that logic we assume that the guy either approached a lot of women and got rejected, or is too anxious to approach. That’s a bit of a red flag too.
That’s not to say this is a death sentence. If you can properly justify why you are at this predicament, sure many women would be open to dating you. But also you must be realistic with yourself about the lack of your dating experience
I think experience in regards to a coupleship is necessary for comparison. You’re not a creep or weird for not having a relationship: you’re a creep/abnormal if you act like a creep. Do what makes you happy! If that doesn’t include someone in your life that’s fine: if you’re insecure because you haven’t had a relationship, then the vibe is weird. But if you’re truly happy living your best life, well, that’s attractive. And if you are insecure about not having a partner, then you can change that. Social norms are f*cked for many reasons. But you can choose to respond differently to those norms with confidence in who you are. If you are content, let that shine.
Your choices are your choices. Who gives a fuck what other people think. I don’t even talk about previous relationships with the new ones. Why would you have toO? Just don’t make it a focal point.