An example, having a simple conversation with a coffee barista or with the cashier or waitress? A part of me is like, well, they probably just want to do their job without being bothered? Like I really feel I need to exercise my socializing ability and in particular my small talk ability. To be more comfortable with small talk which I am not good at. I know that I’m bad at it at the moment and partly I think the appeal is knowing that even if I’m bad at it they probably are so used to small talk they can kind of roll with it but I also don’t want to make their jobs harder. An example would be commenting on like, oh what a pretty sweater or wow what a rainy day, then if they offer up more information, more small talk related to that. I just am not good at small talk, knowing how to do it, what the content should be like, how to do it smoothly, it’s just not something I’m good at but think with practice I could get better but I don’t want to be inconveniencing where it might be annoying to them and since they have to be friendly they wouldn’t be able to say so.
Any ideas non-related to drugs or alcohol where a person can practice small talk with low risk? I was thinking maybe I should try socializing clubs? Mostly everyone is moving in and out of those groups so much even if you gaff up they’ll forget you pretty quickly. I think when you sign up for those groups you essentially are kind of agreeing to possible awkward exchanges with strangers so it might be a better choice in terms of the ethics of working on small talk. But since I also feel that I am not necessarily looking for deeper connections than just to develop my small talk ability it could also be rude in it’s own way as loads of people join those groups with the hope of forming actual friendships and really I’m just there to practice a skill set.
Another choice would be hiring someone to work on small talk who has more social ability with small talk but even then I think ultimately I’d still have to practice on strangers or a wide set of people. It’s really hard now days working on stuff like small talk because you never know if it can be triggering to talk to a stranger and if you aren’t especially skilled at it then what is meant harmless on your part could be read as creepy by them.
It’s a weird thing, social skills related things, in that so much is practice, just doing it a bunch and learning the things that work well and the contexts that it works well within, it’s just all puzzles. But if you aren’t very good at it there’s this whole getting better at it process that’s the challenge to figure out, how to get the practice in. Where it seems there are either people excelling at social ability and those like myself who are like unsure how to progress and practice to get better as it’s often an awkward process of failures to get better and there’s hesitation about inflicting that on others so you don’t get the practice and thus do not progress to getting better.
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I’ll admit, I only read the first couple of sentences but no. A great way to practice socializing and small talk is with people in your everyday life, which may include those in customer service.
I don’t know of any clubs or anything that might help, but I’m a cashier and I am always grateful for the customers that talk to me. Not all will be about it, but most likely won’t mind!
To take it a step further, one thing that actually helped my social skills a bit was working in customer service a bit. Working at a grocery store, it wasn’t unusual for me to have conversations with customers making their purchases or asking customers in aisles if they needed help with anything and it made approaching people outside of my job a bit less intimidating.
But to answer your original question, customer service people deal with so many customers that they probably won’t even remember you if you try to have a conversation with them, so don’t even worry about it going poorly. Just make sure not to take up too much of their time and keep them from their work.
You might be interested to know that there have actually been studies done that indicate that people are generally more open to conversation with strangers and more open to deeper conversations than other people think they would be. So instead of being overly worried about being awkward, consider that you might actually brighten someone’s day with a bit of conversation.
This is actually one of the MAIN places I suggest people practice!
The reason is that the interactions are brief, you get immediate feedback, it’s mostly anonymous and you get repeated chances to work on it throughout the day. In addition most customer service people are polite and open to brief friendly interactions. (as PanicSandshrew pointed out.) I also used to work a customer service job, and having an interactive customer usually helped brighten a monotonous shift.
People make the mistake of practicing in their social lives before they’re ready, and that can make things difficult and lead to setbacks and lack of confidence.
It’s always helpful to try out new stuff in smaller anonymous settings.
Great topic!
as long as it’s not holding up the line or interrupting their concentration i think it’s fine. that’s where i could see frustration come in. i’ve had to get conversational the past couple days (lots of uber rides – some are quiet, some are chatty). before the pandemic i forced myself to go in social situations at least three times a week (networking events, comedy shows, emo nite, and volunteering) – this helped me gain a bit of confidence
Omegle maybe lol. Low risk. You can next people. Ya might see some dick
I’ve worked a handful of customer service jobs. I think practicing with them would be a great idea.
I was always open to talk to people while working. I’m fairly introverted, but I almost felt like it was part of my job to have conversations with people so I didn’t think much of it.
Just like some other people have said though, make sure you use social cues. If it looks like their really busy, trying to start a conversation with them (other than hi, have a nice day etc) might not be the best idea. Best of luck to you.
I work in customer service at the moment. Unless there’s a long line of customers impatiently waiting for me to take their orders, I’m happy to participate in a bit of small talk. It breaks up the monotony of the day, and it’s interesting.
Short answer is yes. They are working, and you are not. That’s not fair.
Long answer, take it moment by moment. If they seem like they’re looking for communication or if they start it I would say. That would probably be the only time I would. Other wise, you’re going out of your way to get someone at work distracted
If anything I would say get a part time job, that way you can be the person who people have to talk to haha
I don’t think so. If it is not busy, they might be extremely bored. I remember being bored and wishing someone would ask anything. And being in customer service, I am here to serve people. So I found it fun, helping people with things I didn’t need to.
Most aren’t allowed to use phones while at the desk.
There is an app I heard of recently that I found intriguing I can’t remember the name, but people can hire a friend. I thought about it because it might be an excellent way to practice another language. Practicing social skills would be another promising avenue to try.
Just keep practicing. One thing you mentioned is you might not want to do is compliment people on their attire. I witness some can do it with ease, and it comes off fine. But when I try, it just seems to make people look creep out. I don’t know why some laugh nervously and glance away, so I will stick to weather music, plants, and animals.
I’ve worked in customer service all my life and I say no because:
The customer service rep has to be nice to you no matter what. So if you say something cringey or weird or awkward you’ll never know because they most likely HAVE to be nice to you, so you won’t get any real feedback. I can’t count how many times I thought someone was a total d bag, or weird, or even outright racist and I’ve just had to smile, grin and endure. You’d be better off practicing on randos so you can get real feedback on what went wrong and what you did right. I know that might sound scary, but in the long run it’ll help so much more