So I’m not extraordinarily attractive, but I’m also not ugly. I’m slightly above average looking. I have a truck paid off, a car, buying my own house, working on my master’s degree, and I invest in real estate. I’m in good shape, have healthy hobbies, and don’t drink or do drugs. I have a lot of friends so I know I am fun to be around.
I’ve been single 3 years but I cannot get a girlfriend even though I would love to settle down, and I don’t understand why. Often times I will meet a woman, things will go great for a while, then she ghosts me and I see her in a relationship with someone else on social media. Or we just end up becoming “besties.” They will invite me out and if I can’t go, they tell me how it wasn’t the same without me and they wish I was there. And the same girl will trust me enough to get drunk when we go out, sleep in my bed with me so she won’t have to drive home, but make it clear we are just friends and no sex will be involved, then the following morning hype me up on what a good man I am for respecting her and how I’ll make an amazing husband one day, while telling me about the problems she is having with men she is dating. They take me out with all of their other girl friends and I end up becoming friends with them too. As a result I hang out with women more than men.
My last ex was my friend for 10 years before we got together. I watched her get cheated on, used for sex, and even go through a physically abusive relationship before she decided to get with me. I helped her quit drinking, smoking cigarettes, get back into college, then she left me when I went through some financial problems. But I feel like she would have never even been with me had she not been in such a low place, because she never showed interest until she was broken, and she left me as soon as the tide turned. I was basically a last choice until she felt good about herself again. My self esteem is pretty low right now. I see friends who get a new girlfriend within months after a breakup, and I’ve been single 3 years and just keep getting ghosted and friend zoned. Idk what could possibly be wrong with me for nobody to love me romantically.
What are some reasons women friendzone a guy who they believe is excellent husband material?
4 comments
Well first of all there’s no “friend zone”. So lets root that out of your mindset. What you’re asking is why women want to be around you and enjoy your company but not date. And that’s simple: you’re not attractive to them.
Now where guys fuck up is when I told you you’re not attractive you think I’m saying they think you’re ugly. No. Not the case. See with a lot us dudes we are good guys (and you sound like one) with heads on straight and all that is. That just makes you a good guy tho. It doesnt’ make you universally attractive.
Women are into different guys and again, not just their looks. It’s everything. How they dress. How they carry themselves. Their personalities. Their values. Their likes and dislikes. It’s all matters.
Often times a women will friend zone you if your not being clear enough with your intentions
If you haven’t made a romantic move then why would she see you as anything other than a friend? You need to take them out away from their friends, in a place that’s obviously more than a friendly hang out, then after some conversation you need to make some sort of romantic gesture, basically just get closer to them (grab their hand). If that goes well then continue to escalate, if at any point she stops responding readily then she’s probably not into you (don’t be fool, ask her what’s wrong). If you get anxioua, or nervous, or whatever, get over it cause that’s how they weed weak men out. If you don’t take initiative, you’ll only ever be friends. Or so I’ve been told. Pursue, reject, repeat. Basically you just continue that cycle until someone stays.
Individuals choose friends in a variety of different ways.
The reason why the concept of being “friend zoned” is problematic, is becase of you claim being friend zoned means a woman decided to be your friend but doesn’t want to have sex with you, and that implies that having sex with you was the assumed default and her decision to not do that is somehow an act against you.
When a woman meets and interacts with a person, then a nonsexual relationship is the assumed status as baseline.
Then, a woman might choose to “Boyfriendzone” or “Husbandzone” or “fuckbuddyzone” someone, but we don’t call it that. We just call it dating and marriage and hooking up.
You’re not in a “friendzone”. You are a friend. Try to be a good genuine friend, and remember this:
Healthy relationships are based on open and honest communication between mature consenting adults who treat each other with respect and share common interests and compatible life goals.