My husband says he knew in the first month of dating me he wanted to marry me. I’m curious if this is a rare occurrence, or it’s just a general consensus that men just know what they like!
ETA: we’ve been together for six years and married for two, so even though our relationship is still pretty “young”, my husband didn’t propose until 2.5 years into the relationship!
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Its not about the time you two dated but how much time you two spent communicating
Also affects is he has ADHD or limerence as well
Hell no.
It might happen to some guys, but I’d be very hesitant to put that much trust into first month feelings.
You’re still in the honeymoon phase at that point and everything is new and exciting. It’s very easy to get caught up in the moment and believe this person is ‘the one’, but dating for a month is wildly different than living together for decades.
My husband and I knew we wanted to marry each other the moment we saw each other. We got married 4 months later. It’s been 15 years of bliss. 😍😍
Ime certain men think that about everyone they’re with and then disregard the times they didn’t actually marry them
Maybe for some, but i think its more something men say because they know women love to hear it. I was instantly attracted to my wife, but marriage did not enter my mind for sometime.
My husband new in the first month too, but I wouldn’t say that it is a general occurrence.
We definitely know instantly the ones we don’t know want marry
My husband said after our first date he knew – took him six or seven months to ask me to marry him and in less than 100 days we celebrate 33 years of delight and bliss.
I knew within 3 weeks. 8 years and 2 kids later I’m still 100% sure that I found my person.
Yes
I knew I wanted to marry my wife on our first date. Still feel that way!
I’m not sure about everyone but my husband knew immediately when he met me on a blind date that was set up by friends.
I on the other hand, though I liked him, was hesitant for 7 weeks. My husband was so different; when a man loves you I think they want you to know constantly and support you.
After being divorced once there is no way I will ever think that so quickly. Didn’t the first time either.
Unpopular opinion: people who say “I knew the second I saw her/him” get lucky that it worked out more than anything else. This is a common way to feel when you are first attracted to someone and does not always mean that they are a good fit to marry, but sometimes turns out that they are.
I knew.
No, bot usually. I’m very surprised I ended up marrying who I did. Never would’ve guessed it at the beginning.
I knew the moment I watched her dance for the first time. My wife is not a stripper. It was our college drill team at the basketball games. I played drums in the pep band.
My husband says he knew right away, I ticked all his boxes and to this day he still says I’m his perfect match.
I knew very very early on, he also met every single criteria I was looking for that I thought were impossible to find. I was much more cautious than him but he eventually won me over lol
Zero regrets
No. A lot men marry whoever they’re with at the time.
After our first date he called me and said he didn’t want to scare me but he was in love with me and wanted to marry me. I was 2 years out of an abusive marriage and it terrified me when he said it, but I loved him too. I really really did. After 1 date. I was really scared to get married again. He proposed to me every single day for a year before I said yes. The look on his face when I finally said yes is an image burned in my brain. He was so shocked and happy. This man gives me love and kisses like he’s leaving the house, but he’s just going to another room.
edit to add: Weve been together for 11 years now
My husband said he knew right when got together we were going to marry one day
No, that is not true.
My husband knew he wanted to be with me from our first conversation.
I knew on the first date. Married 22 years together 27
I really don’t think there’s anything wrong either way! To answer the question, no, men don’t instantly know but at the same time there’s a good percentage of men that do.
I’m female and I knew instantly by picture alone that I wanted to, would and DID marry my husband. He didn’t want to marry me instantly but I don’t care about that. I don’t think that means he thought I wasn’t attractive instantly, he definitely did.
My husband did. For him it was love at first sight. Took me a bit longer to fall in love but I certainly liked him from the moment we met
I don’t believe in love at first sight. I think people probably feel that way a lot but once things go bad they never think of it again. But if things go good, they think it more so it’s more memorable. If that even makes sense.
My husband and I met over the phone. He knew he liked me after our first conversation. He knew he really wanted to date me after a couple conversations. He knew he wanted to have sex with me after the first time he saw me. He would probably say now that he was in love with me all that time but I don’t think so.
It took me much longer to get there.
Eh. Feeling like you want to marry someone is different from getting to know them well enough to know it’s the right life fit.
Do people experience what they interpret as love in the first few weeks? I’m sure they do, all the time! But I think anyone with long term relationship experience is aware of how feelings change and develop as you get to know someone better over time.
Emmmmm…..instantly?
It took around 6 months for her and i to check mark each box on what we are looking for.
20+ plus years later with 3 boys later the only thing i can say on instantly knowing….
When we were trying to have our first kid and after a few months of trying without success…. i feaking knew each time she got pregos. I can’t explain it…i just knew.
My now ex chose the day he would propose to me as soon as we started dating. He “knew” but that shit is normal for when you first fall in love otherwise you wouldn’t be with that person, would you?
In most cases it turns out to be false and once you get to know the person, you are forced to give up on that wish and original decision.
Yeah after I spent a few minutes talking with my her I knew she was a candidate for position lol. It took 3 years for us to really get to know each other but I knew off gate she was wife material.
Nope
I did
My husband said the same. He knew within one month that I was the woman he wanted to marry.
Fun fact: We met in high school when both of us were under 18. Still kicking over three and a half decades later (long, hard, brawling, drama filled decades) but I guess he was right.
I also tell people – including my kids – that we are the exception and not the norm.
I think, to be brutally honest, that in many cases a man finds himself ready to settle down and that kind of primes him to have that feeling. He may have felt nothing when seeing the exact same woman five years ago. My husband swears he fell in love with me right away, and he did, but I think he was ready to fall in love because he was at an age where he was ready to get married and he was feeling lonely.
My husband said he knew instantly too. We got married a few months after we met. TBH, everything happened so fast that I still can’t believe it. I would FREAK if one of our kids did the same. But to his credit, it’s been 42 years and it was absolutely the right thing for both of us. I can’t imagine myself with anyone else.
I don’t really believe in the “love at first sight” thing that’s never been my experience but I think we often know that the connection is different than previous relationships. Me and my partner have discussed many times that our first date was special because we connected in a way that both of us felt it could be something that worked out long term. I think we both had enough relationship trauma from previous experiences that neither of us would have said “we knew the second we met”. We both needed to wait and see but it was very different than other experiences. I left our first date knowing that there were not many people I had ever connected with on that level and my fiancé tells the story the same way.
My husband had second thoughts about dating me when he had to experience my family for the first time. In his defense, my dad and both my brothers were violent crackheads who were constantly needing me to do damage control. He decided to stay 🤣
Well, if my husband had his way, we would have gotten married within the first few months of meeting each other. He said he knew the night we met in person (we met online) that we would be married. This September, it will be 18 years married, 20 together.
I knew after about a week. We were friends first and ended up making out on Valentine’s Day. Over the next week we went on a few dates. We were sitting on the beach with her kids (my two amazing stepsons) and I thought to myself I’m going to marry her
My husband knew the moment he laid eyes on me and pursued me for 3 years. Then proposed 4 months into us dating and married 6 months later. He became my friend and didn’t put pressure on me for those 3 years and gave me the time I needed to be ready for a relationship again. He asked both my parent’s for permission to marry me and made promises to take care of me about 2 months into us dating. He already had a ring by then and was ready to propose but he waited until the right time to ask. He even said even if his timing was off, he wouldn’t have given up and would have tried again later. Some men do know. My husband’s childhood friend knew about 4 months in and he proposed not long after they got pregnant. He had to save for the money and it just so happened they got pregnant while he was saving and looking for a ring. The whole time he was asking us how he should propose and when. They are now waiting until their little boy is a year old before getting married. Some know right away and some need time to know. Everyone’s timeline is different.
>Is it true men instantly know who they want to marry?
Of course not.
I was struck by “The Thunderbolt” when I saw my wife for the first time. I was a butcher at a grocer and on a Monday was her first day as a pharm tech at the store. Wednesday I found out I was being transferred. Two months later we started dating and our story continued
There is a scene in “The Godfather” where Michael Corleone saw Apollonia Vitelli for the first time and his body guards joked that he got struck by the thunderbolt. I too had a similar experience.
I knew pretty quickly.
The first date was good. The second was better.
She’s smart, driven, and really Rogers my Hammerstein.
Probably after about a month, I dropped the L-bomb.
I knew on the *second date*. This wouldn’t have happened if I’d hadn’t dated and had other relationship experiences/breakups with women in the past, though. Those experiences really narrowed down what I wanted in a partner as I grew older. Together for two, married five years and now I’m living in her home country with our two incredibly awesome kids. We make a great team.
My mom moved in with my dad the same night as their first date. 31 years this year!