My girlfriend (21F) and I (22M) have been long-distance for 2 years(for most of our relationship). Right now, she and I are apart, and she has been going out every weekend with her friends. Now, don’t get the wrong idea, I love it! In fact, I genuinely encourage her to go out and have fun as much as possible!
The problem is, lately she has been going to this bar, and the bartender and her have been flirting back and forth. She tells me about it and reassures me its nothing more than her way toward free drinks, which I fully support, and I actually think it is really cool that I am with a girl that other guys oggle over just as much as I do. The biggest problem that I have is that they have recently shared Snapchat info, and he has told her his very clear intentions of sleeping with her.
Let me be clear – I am not really all that jealous, as I trust her with my life and I know she loves me. She has even gotten Snapchats and replied to him with me on FaceTime to make sure I am okay with her responses. We have really good communication, and she has been very open about ending it when I feel too uncomfortable.
What I have an issue with, however, is that she is relying on my feelings about it. I don’t want to be one of those guys that tells her who to talk to and where to go, and I don’t want our relationship to drag down her fun while she is in college. I am trying to be open-minded about everything, and I know she would never cheat on me, but a part of me kind of feels like this is a slippery slope.
What do you guys think would be the best course of action for this? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
**TL;DR:** GF flirting with bartender is getting a little out of hand, what should I do?
3 comments
Are you open to ENM? You’re so young to be in a LDR. What are your plans together? What’re you hoping will happen with her?
Id be honest about your feelings and say sharing info bothered you a little. She will either reassure you or remove him as a friend, him wanting to sleep with her is where it crosses a line and I dont think its necessary for her to further that relationship personally
The problem isn’t this (or any) guy. The problem is that she’s indulging him and flirting back, with the excuse that she’s trying to get free stuff out of this, no less. Frankly, I couldn’t see myself in a serious relationship with someone who thinks and acts like this; her behavior goes against my values. Whether it aligns with yours or not is for you to decide. Don’t focus solely on cheating though; look at the bigger picture of her behavior. Do you really “support” her using dudes for free drinks by consistently and deliberately leading them on?