Now that you’re in your in your 20s and 30s, how do you feel, or where are you in your social life?
I was a “cool kid” in my early teens but fell off dramatically in my later teens and especially in my 20s. And now that I’m in my 30s, I feel so put of touch and out of place.
I was always a periphery type friend or associate. Was always on the outside of a group, afraid to commit.
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Story of the ‘cool kid’ also the ‘hardest guy in the Year group’ (yea I went to a shit school)
Few years ago I was walking to work in the town centre and a homeless man, clearly looked to be on drugs and rough sleeping approaches asking for spare change. It was the same guy I went to school with.
He was so high he didn’t even realise he was speaking to a guy he went to school with for 6 years and saw daily in that time.
He never bullied me or anything, but did bully others and was genuinely an asshole but popular. Sort of a typical Jock.
I gave him what change I had in my pocket and got the sanitizer out as soon as I walked off.
I noted him picking up cigarette butts off the ground as I looked back.
I told the story to a friend I went to school with, he told me that guy went to prison for something drug related (he attacked & robbed someone whilst high on heroin) and his mother died whilst he was in there and he just took to drugs even harder since.
I was one of the cool kids in Highschool – not as in being mean, but I usually got invited to the cool parties and got to hang out with the groups that seemed most liked/admired.
( I don’t even know how I got into those groups. it was an abrupt change after being bullied in the school I went to before. Maybe had to do with a greater ability to be myself and just having nice people around me that also happened to be popular)
After school, I went to another city to study. Have been here for almost 10 years now and I still/ again have what I feel is a very big snd good social circle (with around 15 people I would actually call friends and share personal and emotional stuff with, around 30 more I could ask for favours like going grocery shopping when I am sick or helping me to move, I would invite them over if I had a party etc, and finally maybe another 20 or so more I am happy to see and vice versa, I would feel comfortable talking to them at other people’s gatherings knowing we are already friendly, if that makes sense).
I don’t think it’s necessarily still the „cool kids“ I hang out with. But I feel very comfortable around them. It’s pretty much where I feel at home, bubble wise.
And yeah, I lived in big shared homes for long periods of time (7 years in a 15-people-house and currently flatsharing with 6 others) so that helps.
So yeah, it kind of has worked out for me so far.