My(28M) boyfriend(30M) and I are dating long distance and things are going perfect. He tells me he is completely happy on his end as well and has no complaints for me at all. A month ago is when we had done erp together for the first time and he says he really enjoys it and wants to do it again. It’s been a week or so since he has mentioned wanting to do it again with me and we have been so horny for each other lately so now I’m honestly craving it again too. Btw I have been asexual up until the point where I had met him and he has always been indifferent about sex. But now we are insanely horny for each other all the time and we rp kiss like crazy. Sometimes we do it all day long and that’s all we will do. He says he doesn’t get bored of it and loves kissing me and that everytime he does it he gets insane butterflies. The feeling is mutual because I am so in love with him and he is so attractive to me. He finds me super attractive as well and he told me recently again that he wants to do erp with me again and I have been waiting patiently for him but I’m so turned on that I hate waiting and want to do it already. I’ve tried waiting for when his days off of work align with mine because he values his privacy and is too tired to do it on work days. Our days off are usually in sync and it’s not that much of a problem or wait but last week we didn’t do anything mushy other than kissing because I knew he wanted to game because he misses it and loves it when I watch him. We are both off today so I figured I would try out something spicy. I wanted to wake him up with a steamy erp session. I wrote him a long detailed message where I was basically in bed lying next to him touching myself to his sleeping body and I was practically begging for it. I slightly touched him in the middle of his sleep and he woke up right as I sent the messages. I was hoping to get him in the mood with it so he could write something equally as steamy back but he didn’t? He just said “Did you just write me a story” Then he pulled me in for a kiss and mentioned the fact that he was at home alone. I told him how horny I was and how I was hoping that we could have had morning sex and all he said in response to it was “What have I done?” He was being a little mushy with me but after a few minutes the conversation we were having just kind of died down and I can’t help but feel sad and embarrassed by it. I was being graphic in my post as a way to try to paint a pretty picture for him so he can visualize what I was doing and get off from it and for him to not say much about it is kind of upsetting to me. I was hoping for him to say more than that and to keep it going but he didn’t. I get that maybe he was tired because he had just woken up but I would have appreciated at least a “not now” or a “maybe later” but he gave me nothing. I don’t even know what he wants? I can’t read his mind. I know I could of tried asking him that but I was too embarrassed then to ask about it so I let it be. I figure that if he wanted to have sex with me then he would do it because he’s just the type who would. He likes to go for what he wants. He even told me that himself. He is no stranger to groping or kissing me. He considers himself the dominant one in our relationship and likes to initiate sexual contact. After the convo quickly died. He said he wanted to call me and talk about personal things with me since he can’t talk about certain topics when family is around and now was our chance and then after that he just dozed off and fell asleep on me. Meanwhile I’m sitting there with a raging boner and unable to do anything about it. I don’t want to wake him by jerking off. And also that kind of just ruined the mood for me and now I’m a bit insecure. He says he wants to do it with me but when he has the opportunity to then he never chooses to. There have been a few times where we could have done it and I’ve been verbal and physical about it but he doesn’t respond to it. Not in the way that I want him to.
tl;dr Bf says he wants to have sex with me but chooses not when the opportunity arises despite all my efforts.