Me (24m) and my ex (22f) met a few months ago due to certain circumstances that I’m not going to talk about (not inherent with the post) and decided that we could remain friends, so we started talking daily and she even started going out with my group of friends (she never met them as | met them after we broke up in August 2022).
Initially i was feeling nothing for her, but after a few weeks i felt that i was still in love with her. I talked to her about this and she told me that she feels really good with me but she’s not asking herself if she’s in love with me or not because she has this friend that’s in love with her and they’re having a mission trip in August. Basically she’s scared that if she would discover to still love me she would ruin the trip as her friend could not bare it so she said that if i want an answer i have to wait until september.
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They were friends with benefits the whole time since we broke up last year, so i told her that if she wants me to wait for her to discover what she feels she must stop the “benefits” part with her friend, initially she didn’t want to but now she told me it’s ok for her.
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She spoke to her friend about all of this ant told him they would stop sleeping together, he was mad and started saying things like “if we don’t get together i’m going to walk away from you totally” and obviously she felt bad about that. It’s like the fifth time that he tries to do something like that, but it always end up with him not walking away (this seems like “emotional blackmailing” to me and i’m furious about that) and she accepting him behaviouring like that.
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So i’m stuck in this limbo where i’m kinda waiting for her to say me something and i’m not feeling good about this. I also tried to walk away from her (this was when she didn’t want to stop sleeping with this friend) but then she asked me to stay until she figured everything out and assured me that she wouldn’t sleep with her friend anymore, so i did.
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Basically i’m asking you, is it possible to do like she is saying, “not asking” yourself if you love someone or not? I’m feeling pretty bad about this because i’m scared that i’m getting stuck in this just to end up getting hurt.
TL;DR: i have been friend with my ex for the past few months but i discovered that i still love her. She isn’t asking herself what she feels for me because in August she will have a mission trip with a friend that loves her. So she asked me to wait if i want an answer and now i’m stuck and i don’t know what to do.