As a background check, my boyfriend (m19) and I (f19) have been dating for 2 and a half years and we’ve been very in love. He has an unhappy family life and he gets on really well with my family, he loves my parents and sister almost as though they are his and they love him. He is sweet and kind and funny and he loves me very much but over the last year things have started getting rocky.
In September last year when I first moved to college, I had huge anxiety about our relationship and if it was time to move on and pursue our own interests. He’s a Drama student and I’m in Biomed, I know it seems a bit heartless to consider this a real issue but it just seemed like we were going on two polar opposite journeys with our education.
We also had been fighting quite a bit that summer. Anyway we had a conversation and he agreed that we should break up.
This lasted about a week or so and we got back together. I decided that I wanted to be with him despite our different lifestyles and that I loved him too much to go into this stage of my life without him, i wanted him to be there with me.
Over the next few months we had some pretty serious fight over small issues we had with each other that blew out of proportion. When we have these fights I physically can’t stand it. I feel like dirt. The only thing I can compare it to is when I fight with my father, I feel like I’m not understood or being listened to. I would cry to the point where my eyes are bloodshot and my face is swollen.
During this time we are still getting on and having lovely cozy evenings together watching movies, going on dates. He would come over and talk to my family and they love him. The only thing is, I am no longer attracted to him sexually. I don’t know what it is and I don’t think I ever will, the idea of having sex just left me at some point. I don’t know what it was, we have great sex and used to have sex not times we’d stay over together but now we can go without sex for a month.
This lack of attraction combined with the fighting is making me lose hope that this is the man for me. I have INSANELY strong love for him but It feels incomplete without the chemistry there. I can still cuddle him and feel love, I just can’t picture him sexually anymore. Can anyone help me with this?
I feel really guilty and terrible that I feel this way about someone who cares about me so much, he also only really has my family as support and I know that if we broke up he would drift away and lose them. I’m so conflicted and I need help.
TLDR;
My boyfriend (m19) of 2.5 years and I (f19) have hit a rough patch. I am not sexually attracted to him but I have really strong love for him and so does my family. They man a lot to him and I don’t want to be the person that takes that away
2 comments
If you don’t want to have sex with him anymore you should either
**A.** let him know so he can make his own decision on if he’s okay with that
or
**B.** break up with him.
Be honest and break up with him ASAP so you can find a new guy that you could be sexually attracted to and so your bf can be with a woman who’s sexually attracted to him.