My (26NB) partner (26F) finally got together after 10 years of a will they/won’t they online friendship just over a month ago. She’s liked me for a while and I liked her somewhat, and thought the relationship would grow. I felt calm and safe with her, and that’s a lot, because my last serious relationship was physically and emotionally abusive.
The thing is, she’s so much more shy than I thought she’d be. She always gave me the impression that she was sociable and had a lot of friends, but we went to a big convention recently and she was glued to my side the whole time, not talking to anyone, and I mean *anyone*. There was only so much that I could do. That’s not even the crux of the matter; that’s the fact that I need to be with someone who matches my energy and she doesn’t. I really, really don’t want to be that person who brings their partner along to everything and then acts as a mouthpiece for them.
Honestly, I think we should break up. I just need/want to know the best way to do it.
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TL;DR: partner is very, very shy. I want to break up but I feel bad and need advice.
1 comment
You don’t need to tell the reason.
The relationship is not working for you – is a true statement. And that should be it.
If you want to be true. Just say you have not matching energy levels and it’s not her fault or anything it just doesn’t work for you.
If you want to do it face-to-face do it on neutral ground or from where both of you can get relatively fast home.
And then do it like removing a band-aid. Kind, but steady. Don’t linger to long after wards.
“Can I leave you alone now?” A last hug is ok, but nothing more and then you go.