So I have this thing that went on since I’m 13 years old. I have my mantras which I say literally every second in my mind. The best way to explain it is by saying it’s like a refresh rate that, for example a monitor has. I’m saying to myself every second “stop overthinking, don’t be shy, be confident” for example, to refresh myself to the person I want to be. And for maybe one week these mantras function well but after that they stop functioning and I need to change them up. Is it because it’s too exhausting for the brain to say the same things over and over again because I literally say them every second? Or is it because I try to be a person I’m not for too long? I mean it really sounds absurd when you speak it out. Literally I’m trying to base off my whole personality and life around these 3 sayings: “stop overthinking, stop being shy, be confident” If these mantras wouldn’t wear of after like a week, I would still use them in 50 years. What I’m trying to achieve by using these mantras is consistency. For that week, before it wears off, they function really well and I’m really the person who I want to be, at that time. And I’m consistent in that one week. And after that week they start to wear off and I’m getting really sad because my mantras don’t have the same effect anymore and I’m staying in my bed browsing for the next new perfect mantras I can use.
I know this sounds really weird and nobody else probably does it like that but can someone relate? Is this a problem with perfectionism?
Should I just drop the whole mantra thing and let my thoughts free?
1 comment
Having mantras can be really helpful, even doing them daily can be helpful, but what you’re describing of doing it every second sounds exhausting in best case scenario, and incredibly concerning and a disorder in worst case scenario. It honestly sounds like OCD. Do you feel really driven to do it? Do you get distressed by having to do it? Do you get distressed if you can’t do it? Do you worry about what would happen if you didn’t do it?