My (20M) girlfriend (19F) is a THC addict and I need advice.

My girlfriend and I have been dating about 6 months but been friends for a little over a year, so we know eachother pretty well. She is one of those people who self diagnosed themselves with a bunch of things over the course of 2020 quarantine, some of them such as anxiety are accurate and have been since professionally diagnosed by a doctor, others such as ADHD are complete BS. I’m the son of two mental health professionals and have ADD myself, and she just doesnt. Theres others, such as “tics” that might be real at this point but started as her trying to be quirky. Also completely obsessed with zodiac signs.

Dont get me wrong, I love her, and for the beginning of our relationship and most of the time now, I can look past it. Day to day, shes a normal, well adjusted person. But when it comes to her view of herself, its a mess. She even calls out people who are like her for the same exact things but for some reason just thinks it doesn’t apply to her as well.

Which brings us to THC. I used to be an avid smoker, and now am more of a recreational occasional smoker, partially due to finances and partially due to turning 20 and wanting to get my shit together. She has been nonstop smoking weed of one form or another since 2021. 2 straight years of nonstop abuse and shes at the point now where she buys a “cart” for 40$, it lasts her a few days, she says it doesnt even make her feel high anymore, and then goes and buys a new one. She absolutely runs through any money she has. I understand dependancy on it to make you feel a certain way, but she has said herself smoking doesnt make her feel any different than not smoking. She has a horrendous cough every time she rips her cart as well.

I really dont care about her smoking weed, if it was actual bud every day of the week I wouldnt bat an eye. But carts are so dangerous, especially since she cant buy them from a dispensary, a kid in her year died from a laced one like a year ago. Plus, the science says they are infinitely worse for your lungs than just smoking real weed.

She knows that its a problem and currently is in the cycle of trying not to buy them and just smoke bud with me, but the way she talks about it is infuriating. “Ideally Ill go a few weeks without it and then I can try to build a healthier relationship with it hopefully”. She absolutely cannot take responsibility for just, not going and buying one. I understand addiction, but this isnt a narcotic. Her body isnt craving it to function, she just wants it. One time i responded to her saying something like that with. “So, just don’t buy one.” And she called me a few minutes later absolutely bawling her eyes out because I made her feel bad about it apparently.

Overall, the advice Ive gotten from friends has been to use a gentle hand and make it clear that I would prefer she doesnt smoke carts. Thats what I’m doing and shes been making headway but its been very slow with constant “relapses”. And when she buys one, what am I supposed to do? Reprimand her for it in some way and start a massive fight?

I really love this girl and would consider her marriage material in some ways. The way I think about it in my head is, I would marry her, but her 5 years from now. I went through a lot in 2022, and it changed the way I see the world in a drastic way. I am a much more mature person than I was a year ago, but shes just not growing up at the same speed as me.

No part of me wants to break up with her, especially over something as trivial as this since everything else in our relationship is great, but it feels like its more of a systemic issue with her being irresponsible and If im in a mindset where im looking for a life-partner, this type of issue is a major problem for me.