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When they try hugging keep your guard up. Do it a couple of times and they will stop
Hold out your right hand to shake. Or if you prefer no contact, hold both hands up in a stop gesture.
Then educate the person by saying, “In future, please ask me if you’d like to hug, I’ll give you a solid yes or no, thanks”
“Please don’t touch me, it makes me uncomfortable.”
And if they ask why just tell them that, “I don’t like it when anyone touches me because it’s weird.”
Person: goes in for a hug
You: quickly step back “Sorry, I’m not a hugger”
If they have any respect for your bodily autonomy, they will not push the issue.
I’m a fan of tailoring the delivery to the context. Meaning, is this a close friend? Random stranger? Family member?
If you’re not worried about harming the relationship, a firm but courteous boundary will do the job, something like “Hang on, I appreciate the gesture but I’m not okay with this. Thanks anyway.”
But if it’s someone who has taken an inappropriate interest in you and you want to keep the friendship platonic, you might try something like “Hey, I really want to keep things platonic between us, and hugging is where I draw the line. Thanks for understanding.”
But my real point here is that you can come up with all kinds of things like these for all kinds of different contexts.
Try the Seinfeld way
As a hugger, I am very aware that many to most don’t actually hug that often, if ever. So, if someone looks like they could use a hug, I offer one. People often refuse, some really appreciate it. I’d never be offended if someone just told me they don’t like hugs. It’s no different than not liking anything else, really. I certainly wouldn’t be offended if you don’t or do like pineapple on your pizza, for example, lol.
Just tell them.
Just tell them you aren’t a hugger and while you respect they are, you’d appreciate it if they don’t hug you.
there’s really no way to reject a hug without hurting the other persons feelings. you can find an excuse like having a cold or something but they will know you rejected their hug. i did that once because that persons nose was bleeding and i was disgusted and it took years for them to not think of me as an asshole
You could try dodging the hug then saying “Thanks but I prefer just handshakes” (or whatever else you’d prefer they do in that situation)
“can we fist bump instead?”
Lol these are some of the worst responses EVER.
It’s funny – maybe it’s not the best idea to ask this on a forum where most struggle to be socially adept
Say sorry I have IBS and if you squeeze me I’ll shit
I just recite the clip from Rick and morty on the Personal Space Show and people get the point. Or you can just sat that you’re not a hugger. If it’s a kid, just explain that not everyone likes hugs and they should ask if they can hug before they do it.
“I’m sorry, I am easily aroused and I don’t want a hard on affecting our relationship.”. I GUARANTEE that they’ll back the fuck off
Last time I told someone that I’m not a hugger, they asked me two weeks later: “Are you *still* like that?”
Stepping back, “hey, so, I think you’re wonderful but I sort of despise being hugged. Not just by you, by everyone. I should’ve mentioned it earlier.”
I don’t handshake. It’s really a gross practice. When someone tries to shake my hand I just say “no disrespect intended but I don’t shake hands, I hope you understand”…. Never had a single person react negatively.
“I don’t do hugs. Handshake?”
Crack a joke in conversation about how much you hate when people hug you and hope they notice 😂
tell them to hug me 🙂 i miss being hugged
“If you hug me, I will lick you😀”
Pepper spray
Don’t fucking touch me! (But nicely)
Step back put up a hand smile and say, sorry no hugs please, I’m good. Or nah I’m good.
If you feel uncomfortable with someone hugging you, then they’re already in your boundaries. There’s nothing wrong with saying “Oh, I don’t hug.” It might not be “nice” but it’s 110% appropriate.
“step off, bitch”
I’m a big fan of “No thank you; I don’t know where you’ve been”. /s
Step back with the grace of a gazelle and say ‘Sorry, I’m not a hugger’ – unless they’re a gazelle, then maybe accept it.
Somebody wanted to shake my hand today. I took a half step back and politely said “I don’t like to shake hands.” They took no offense at all and we continued to have a pleasant interaction.