I’ve been married for over three years, we had a long distance relationship for 4 years before that. My wife used to send me spicy pics all the time before we got married and moved in together. All were unsolicited.
I have not received one since despite asking for one sincerely at least once a quarter.
I got a promotion last year so she got to quit her job and stay at home. Since then I’ve sent her to Italy with her mom, and they also make a 3 day regional trip once a month.
During those I ask for nudes to spice it up. I used to love them. We don’t have a bad sex life, it’s not great but not bad.
My question is directed towards married/long term relationship women. Why is that? Is the flame not there, or do you not feel as sexy as you once did?
It’s a resounding no from her now and it pisses her off when I ask. I really don’t get it and would love some perspective.
7 comments
Try asking her?
What does she say when you ask her why not?
What’s your reaction when she used to send them? I’ve sent my husband one and he didn’t have any reaction to it so I never sent another one because I was really hurt
Sometimes, things change over time. Preferences change. Spark gets lost. You mentioned she quit her job and stays at home. Has that contributed to a decrease in her sexiness in her own eyes? Any significant changes in your sex life post moving in together? Has there been any effort on your end to spice things up that work for her?
The causes could be endless. Sexuality is complicated and nuanced. A deep conversation about it in a non judgemental environment is a good starting point.
She’s not interested in turning you on anymore. You mentioned that your sex life is not great. Why would she want more of that? Make her sex life great, make her feel sexy, and then she might feel more fun and playful. If the sex is “meh”, you lose interest in being flirtatious and your husband asking just feels like nagging.
30F here. It could be how you ask for them. You could try telling her how beautiful she is and how it would make you feel to receive some nudes from her and maybe what you would do with them if you did get them (That’s what I would want my husband to say). Her staying at home could also be a reason, I stay at home (but with kids) and I do not feel as beautiful as I once did so I do not take photos at all of my body anymore. I’m currently on a weight loss journey and have a lot of depression. Is it possible she could be concealing mild depression?
“I’ve sent her to Italy” jumps off the page. Maybe that has something to do with her reluctance to your request for nudes. You are partners, yes? like equal? But this statement sound like you’re controlling the money and it might be that she feels it’s contractual sex, that you’re owed nudes for paying for the trip to Italy. I’m assume you both agreed to her staying home and keeping house, so don’t make her feel like she is subjugated in status because of it.