Is asking someone “how was your night “ rude in America?

29 comments

1. No. It’s fine to ask in the U.S. It only has sexual undertones if you’re a college student messing with your friend about the person you saw them leave the bar with and ask the question while giggling under your breath.

2. I would be like “Why, what did you hear?!”

   It’s a weird question and do you mean like last nights activities? Or what?

   I am pretty chill and very open to cultural differences but I would think that is weird as fuck.

   I would not like it.

   ​

   [edit: although, I thought you meant a stranger. A good friend that you just saw yesterday? different and totally fine.]

3. It only has sexual undertones if you’re immature. It might be a little too intrusive for some, but it’s completely fine to ask.

4. It depends on your tone and the context.

   If you know someone did a planned activity the night before, then it’s a perfectly normal question.

   If you know they went out and went home with someone, it’s a suggestive question.

   In the US, we generally don’t ask about sleep, since asking directly about someone’s sleep can carry the implication that you think the person looks tired.

   One context in which it’s normal is if you know the person is sleeping away from home. Like, you’re traveling together or you’re hosting them at your house. Then, “Did you sleep well?” can be a polite morning conversation question asking about the experience of their stay. However, you wouldn’t ask that question to a stranger.

5. It’s an unusual question I never heard it.

   You probably get asked what do you mean

6. Yes we ask ‘howzit going’ cuz we live in the NOW, the past is for the elderly and europeans to worry about

7. usually people ask if you slept well

8. [deleted]

9. Depends on the context.

   If you are staying in my guest room, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask how your night was, because, as your host, I’m invested in making sure you are comfortable.

   If you previously told me you were going to go do something fun with friends that evening or you were visiting your sick grandma in the hospital, I may ask how your night (or evening) was.

   But void of any context, most people wouldn’t ask about others’ sleeping habits. It would be seen more as weird than rude.

   However, asking how someone’s day was or how their week/weekend was is perfectly fine. Coworkers will often ask how my weekend was when we talk again on Monday. It’s polite conversation.

10. no, I dont understand how it would be rude.

11. “How did you sleep?” would be the best way to ask this. It’s not rude or invading at all, but in many instances it may imply that you think the other person looks tired or may not have slept well for some reason.

    “How was your night?” is asking how their evening was. Like if they had a night out on the town or something like that.

    Neither of these have sexual undertones unless the context is obviously sexual.

12. I wouldn’t take it like that. I dunno, maybe if you did it while aggressively winking or something, but my parents have asked me that probably hundreds of times, and I don’t think they’ve ever suspected I had done anything other than play video games and go to sleep the previous night.

13. I think that if you’re talking to a friend or coworker that you have a healthy report with then it’s nothing but friendly banter.

14. It would be more acceptable to say “did you have a nice evening last night?”

15. Generally, with or without sexual undertones, this question in the US (to my understanding) isn’t referring specifically to quality of sleep or anything but actually to the evening before. Like if you see someone on Saturday and you know they went out on Friday, you aren’t asking if they slept through the night, you’re asking how their plans went and everything related to that.

16. I feel like it’s odd to ask unless you spoke about some specific event that was going to happen at night. It’s common to ask how someone’s day is going or “How was your weekend? “ we typically aren’t wondering how other people slept the previous night unless there’s a specific reason for asking.

17. It’s a strange question to ask.

    I would only ask if I knew someone had plans.

18. Why would you ask that question to anybody other than a close family member? I guess I’d like to ask my pilot or my surgeon but otherwise I wouldn’t ask it.

    It sound intimate, too personal of a question to ask unless you know them well.

19. It’s not rude but it’s also not common. I ask my kids how they slept when I get them up in the morning. Or if I know my friend had a rough night, they stayed up late, we were camping, they’re sick, something like that.

    If you want to ask though we word it closer to “how’d you sleep” or “did you sleep okay”, rather than “how was your night”.

20. Only a creep would ask about my sleep.

21. I’d say it is unusual to ask a coworker or acquaintance about their previous night, unless:

    1) You knew that they had been doing something specific that night, and you were asking about that specific thing to hear how it went.

    2) You’re implying that you think they look tired/stressed, like they didn’t get enough sleep.

    “How are you doing?” or “How’s your day going?” is much more common. Questions like “Did you have a good evening yesterday?” or “Did you sleep alright?” are not necessarily “invasive,” but they definitely are more familiar, because you’re asking about what their habits/life are like outside of when you see them.

22. not really imo. just strange, you might ask “how did you sleep” with those youre close too and in the morning mainly

23. In all of my 50+ years, I can’t think of one time that I was offended by someone asking me how my night was.

24. I would t find it rude or sexual unless it was intentional

25. Yeah… unless you’re asking like Joey from Friends, it’s a normal question. I’ve lived here all my life- it’s not rude.

26. “How was your night?” is more a question if you know someone got up to some activity, sexual or not, last night. It can be a perfectly innocent question, but if I was at the club with you last night and I saw you leave with someone…yeah, there’s probably some undertones there.

    If you specifically wanted to know how someone slept, you’d probably ask: “How did you sleep?” And even then, this is a question that you’d probably ask someone who shared similar sleeping conditions to yourself (same bed, same room, household, hotel, tent, cabin, etc). For example, I wouldn’t ask my co-workers how they slept unless I was specifically aware of something that might impact their sleep.

27. Ive never thought of it this way

28. I’m an american and disagree with the other commenters. I cannot fathom how this would be rude or sexual to ask. It’s true you might say “how was your evening” but I’ve asked my colleagues and friends this question, and have had it reciprocated many many times.

    Again as someone said there is a cheeky way we can ask it if we know the person was really drunk or something and you ask them the next morning when they’re obviously hungover. But it’s not offensive at all, it’s more just like a “haha I bet you were hugging the toilet last night” kinda thing.

29. My Ace ass had zero ideas how it could be sexual, even being married as long as I have. 🤨😳