Earlier this week I had a meeting, and I roleplayed some things along with my other coworkers who I was hired with since we were all new (3). This was strictly practice. We have a tight deadline to get our training completed, after being told 6-9 months to train in interviewing, we’re not being told to have our training done in 1 and 1/2 months. When it was my turn to speak, I messed up and confused some things and my two coworkers and manager busted out laughing. One coworker threw her hands up and laughed so loud I know the other people in offices could hear. Management who I was talking to and roleplaying with, every time I spoke exchanged looks to 2 other coworkers and would laugh. She winded up saying, I did very good, I just messed up describing something. My coworkers were acting so disrespectful towards me just to wind up making mistakes and not nailing it as well. Before this event happened, everything was fine between us all(so I thought). When this happened, my esteem and confidence dropped to 0 and I truly was on the urge of wanting to walk out and cry. So I sat there, and just I guess zoned out because I was reflecting on how bad I felt and how much I embarrassed myself and also how they reacted towards me. I’m guessing management saw my face and sensed my energy.
Now that this happened, everything’s awkward. Our whole team is 9 people. It was 4 of us in the room, one being management. I’m assuming management went back and told the whole office about what happened, and now ever that happened other people when coming across me would avoid eye contact, and stare at me i would hold my head down.
I addressed my manager and she said I was doing great. That I’m doing like I’m suppose to.
Woman I was hired with would come to my office to complain about training and talk to me about other coworkers, how things are different from in the interview and constantly complaining but was the main one laughing at me, she was the loudest and most theatrical. But yet when in front of management she’s so giddy and happy and offers to speak first. She truly hurt my feelings, and now she’s trying to make small talk with me and I’m clearly showing I’m uninterested, and she keeps trying to engage with me. I decided to cut contact with her, and keep it strictly professional and about work. am I wrong?
Also management when I’m shadowing her for my training, she’ll give me awkward stares. Idek if she’s aware of how much she contributed to what happened or if she is and just don’t care. Like I said since other coworkers know, they’re still trying to be nice to me, by saying hi and bye, but they avoid eye contact. I’ve started putting my head down, and they’ll look at me.
I just got this job and I truly need it for experience. What is it that I should do? Im starting to feel turned off by everyone and their treatment of me, especially with management telling everyone else and encouraging this awkward behavior instead of pulling me aside to talk. Am I wrong for thinking this?
1 comment
You’re making a lot of assumption with little evidence and I think you’re kind of sabotaging yourself. You don’t know management told anybody anything. You don’t actually know anyone else feels uncomfortable or awkward about you. If anything is going to make them actually feel awkward, it’s going to be you being closed off to them, feeling offended at them, taking everything they do as somehow directed at hurting you, etc. That’s going to come off in how you present yourself to them. It already is, as you mentioned with the coworker you are now shutting down despite trying to befriend you.
Ultimately I think you just need to accept that people make mistakes and it’s very likely nobody actually gives a shit that you messed up. Laughing is not necessarily intended to hurt you, even if it did. If you continue to internalize all this frustration it’s going to actually make you miserable and probably harm your work relationships. I’d recommend doing your best to have some self confidence, own that you aren’t perfect and that others saw that, and move on like it never happened because it really isn’t a big deal. I think *you* are the one behaving awkwardly.