At My Witt’s End

Hi, this is my first time posting in this subreddit and I desperately need some advise. Sorry if this is long. My (29f) husband (48m) have been married for less than a year, been together for 5 years and I’m already burnt out. When we got married, we had only been back together for a year and things were good for a while. He reassured me that this time around that things would be different (much better) than when we first were together. Our entire relationship I have always had a job. He would start working somewhere, we would finally start getting ahead and then he would quit or get fired (mainly quit, cause he felt he deserved more than what he was being paid. Even if he was at the company less than 4 months.)

I, for the most part was working doubles at 2-3 jobs just to keep our heads above waters. But I always stood by him (he has underlying health issues as do I, but it never stopped me from working) letting him know that I was there and ready to be his wife. We had a couple scares(hospital-wise, for both of us) but things would level out. During our engagement, he quit his job for some stupid reason, but he got injured(not life threatening, but he still could’ve worked) so I was left to pay for our wedding. It went off without a real hitch and things were good for a while again, and then when I started working 2 jobs again, he quit again. (For whatever reason)

At the beginning of this year, I was paying for everything once again. I was so stressed because I was using every dime I made to pay the bills to keep us in our home and semi comfortable. But I was struggling with even keeping food in the house and gas in my car (I’m a CNA/Med Aide & Home Health Aide-so I travel alot) it got to the point I had to start asking my mother and sister to help me financially. My was irritated and embarrased at first, because I have a whole HUSBAND that should be helping me. Instead, he was laying around the house just watching TV and playing video games all day. I would come home from long days (7-14hrs) just to see my house like a tornado hit it. I get paid to care for people and clean up their homes just to come home to mine and have to do it all again. Most days I’m working 12 hours day and night so I’m exhausted.

Now, he’s finally working again, but it’s overnights now. I can honestly admit I’m so glad. I can finally rest and get some sleep(he isn’t pushing up on me in the middle of the night, breaking my MUCH needed sleep) but now it’s coming to a head. I’m stuck doing all the house chores still, he may take out the trash but I spend my 4 hours of wind down time cooking and cleaning just for him to come in the morning and ruin it all again.

Lastly, we had a bill come up that I asked him to address weeks ago and tonight I find out, we were in danger of something being cut off. He’s mad at me because I didn’t just pay it like he wanted me to and I had questions. So we got into a small fight, he took out the trash and left for work. I’m sitting here, once again cleaning up this house, when I should be resting for work in the morning. He got to sleep all day, 10-12hrs for a 8hr overnight shift. I barley can rest at night because I’m always in work mode. Idk what to do…