What’s a good indicator that someone is great at sex? Before you actually have sex with them.

43 comments

1. If they don’t say “I’m good at sex”

2. You show him an image of the external female genitalia and ask him if he can point out the clitoris.

3. There are no indicators. There are shy people who are great at sex, outgoing, confident people who are terrible at it.

4. They don’t make assumptions about what you do/don’t like and are good at adjusting situations so you’re happy. Could be about picking restaurants, giving back rubs, choosing music, etc.

   There’s no one right way to make sex feel good for partners – something you find delightful is gross to others, and some things you hate are perfection for someone else. Knowing that is step 1, being comfortable adjusting and listening is step 2. You influence that positively by giving good feedback – catch them doing things right, be open minded, and tolerate a little “bad” before speaking up/moving in response.

5. They don’t brag

6. Sex almost always requires partners to show a certain amount of vulnerability.

   There are people who can’t stand the idea of being vulnerable to someone else, for a variety of reasons.

   In my experience, people in that category are often very demanding or challenging intimate partners.

   And conversely, I’ve found that people who are comfortable with vulnerability are pretty good at most intimate-partner stuff.

7. They have open communication about it. I don’t mean they talk about good game, but they will ask you questions and listen to your concerns. Talk about likes, dislikes, fantasies and fetishes.. Effort outside of the bedroom usually means effort in the bedroom.. let’s face it, effort is what makes it great.

8. Good sex is teamwork. You also play a role in whether or not the experience will be memorable

9. Great kissers never disappoint

10. Anyone that claims to be good at it. They always suck.

    In my experience the shy ones are always the best at intimacy.

11. Someone who is giving!

12. Foreplay. This is why you make out with someone first.

13. I think someone who has a general openness to talking about sex. And someone who masturbates because they clearly know what’s good for themselves

14. I was told back in my younger days that seeing me dance told women I was good in bed.

    18 year old me started dancing my ass off once I started hearing that. Lol

15. I literally just had the best sex of my life with a guy I judged to be a total virgin/nerdy/not good with women type and now I feel like a fool. An extremely satisfied fool though 🤣

16. They show affection toward you, they care if you are happy/satisfied in all areas. They love you.

17. When they put importance on foreplay.

18. They listen to your wants, needs, and desires.

19. Good communication skills with you, including the ability to handle criticism with curiosity and a desire to improve. If you can cook a meal together in a small kitchen.

20. They communicate about what they like and ask you questions about what you like (if it is understood that you guys are likely to have sex). Otherwise, if they brag about how great they are, they probably aren’t. If they indicate that they care about pleasuring the other person and are confident and good at communicating about other things that’s a good sign.

21. They patiently listen to you when you communicate. Chances are, they’ll do the same in bed.

22. For me it’s 100% about chemistry and connection. When those are there, it’s almost guaranteed to be good.

23. Just had the best sex of my life last night with a guy. We ended up doing it like 4 times last night. We both thought it was amazing. Like dear lord 🥴 it was like a water park down there. And the oral he gave me. 😵‍💫

24. They don’t talk about how great at sex they are. They just let you fuck around and find out 💀

25. Dancing. No joke.

    An elderly librarian told me this years ago, and she was right. If someone can either match my rhythm or bring me into theirs, that’s all you need to know lol

26. They don’t brag about how good they are

27. If they pay attention to you and things you like, want, or need outside the bedroom.

    That’s a green flag pointing to the idea that they will also pay attention to the things you like, want, or need *inside* the bedroom.

28. If they are confident AND they are a good listener. Guarantee they are willing to have fun and also listen to directions if need be.

29. The not bragging is the biggest key indicator but I am partial to the shyness and the lack of focus on the topic entirely, sometimes the ones that are more intimidated by the subject. Speaking from personal experiences and my male perspective. Favorite quote here, “nice guys always finish last”

30. If people brag, they usually suck

31. If he/she is a good kisser. They’re usually good in bed lol

32. A crowd of the opposite sex surrounds them.

33. Communication and Kissing!!
    If you kiss someone and they know how to “play” with your tounge, dance with your lips and is empathic enough to know when and how to engage with the tounge then they probably know how to be like that with their tool too.

    Not necessarily everyone but for the experiences I’ve got it was 9/10 of the cases

34. Watch how they pet a cat

35. They listen. They smile with genuine empathy. They are into you and patient about getting to the finish line.

    Also, it seems basic, but they are a good at kissing with passion and dancing with you, in a harmonious way.

36. Generally a good communicator, someone who listens, seems comfortable with himself and his place in the world. Not arrogant, just self-confident, with good eye contact.

37. I’d say when they have confidence, confidence in themselves in the way they speak, they’re open and ask questions. Being good at sex is all about pleasure I’d say

38. For me, it’s usually the kissing. A great kisser and someone who is sensual will usually be great in bed.

39. Eye contact

40. I dunno if this is reliable scientific evidence but I used to date this one guy who use to always put his hand on the small of my back going through doors, or passing by me or leading me somewhere.

    His gentle touch and kindness was lovely but he was also a very good partner in the bedroom

41. If they talk about sex like they actually enjoy it. Not bragging about how great they are, or anything like that, but just talking about sex like its a really good meal that they’ve been looking forward to.

42. Kissing literally number one indicator, every time I went further with a bad kisser it wasn’t worth my time. If an hour or two of making out hasn’t gone by in what felt like 10 minutes I know the sex isn’t going to live up to my standards.

43. In my experience if a guy knows how to kiss, it’s a sign that he is good at sex too.