Hey Reddit,
I’m feeling a bit lost and could use some perspective. I’m a 25-year-old woman who recently went through a breakup with my boyfriend of two months. He ended things because he felt that I didn’t put enough time and effort into our relationship and that I was too focused on my job.
To provide some context, I’ve always been ambitious and driven in my career. I work as a content creator in girlie magazines. I’ve worked hard to establish myself and have been dedicated to climbing the professional ladder. However, this seems to have affected my romantic relationships in the past.
I genuinely believed that I could balance my career aspirations and a budding romance, but now I’m questioning if I made the right choice by prioritizing my job. I always thought it was important to focus on personal growth and financial stability at this stage in my life, but now I’m questioning if I’ve neglected my love life.
So, Reddit, I’m turning to you for some advice. Have any of you been in a similar situation? Did you prioritize your career over a relationship, and if so, how did it turn out for you? Or, on the other hand, did you put your job on hold to focus on love, and how did that work out?
I’d love to hear your experiences and insights to help me gain some clarity in this confusing time.
TL;DR: My boyfriend broke up with me because he felt I prioritized my job over our relationship. Now I’m questioning if I made the right choice. Have any of you faced a similar situation, and how did it turn out for you?
Thanks in advance for your support and advice.
15 comments
Hi OP , you made the good choice to prioritise your job and career. Did your ex offer to support you financially which will give you the time to prioritise him ? If he didn’t then I don’t see how he can make a request for you to not focus on work which is your livelyhood
Find someone similarly career-oriented.
Kevin Samuels broke down what awaits you for being a career driven woman. It’s your choice at the end of the day. Watch his videos and he’ll explain it in detail. The short answer is cats and loneliness await you if you continue focusing more on your career
There’s nothing wrong with focusing on your career. Your ex also isn’t wrong for wanting to focus on the relationship, especially if he’s looking for something long term. Your goals just aren’t compatible, it happens.
Is your name Rachel Green?
1000% the right choice to prioritize your job! You’ve got to take care of yourself first before you can be there for anyone else. You always come first because you are the most important relationship in your life. And for a career specifically, that’s mega important! That is the foundation that allows for all the other things you want in your life AND makes you feel fulfilled through your hard work. Don’t let any boy pull you away from what makes you feel like the most you.
All that said, it’s totally a balance. You also have to put effort into any relationship that you care about. In your next relationship, perhaps try specifically making time for a “date night” once a week, and just set aside regular time to focus on your partner. Your partner should respect your ambition and work ethic and understand needing to have more scheduled time for him.
Boyfriend or not, work/ life balance is necessary – make sure you’re able to work hard during work times and then be able to set it down to live your life. Nobody gets to their death bed wishing they had worked more – it’s an end to a means: pays for the things you want and hopefully makes you feel fulfilled in the process.
Keep killing it, but also don’t forget to live your life. Best of luck to you!
It’s a hard balancing act that can be managed with a partner that aligns with your values. This guy didn’t, and that’s okay. At your age, finding yourself, reaching your goals, and setting yourself up for practical and spiritual stability is best.
I don’t think you made the wrong choice, but I think you’re learning how much it will take to “have it all”.
find someone who respects your career too
Honestly this was a mature and wise decision. I hope you and him ended on good terms. As someone who’s very career focused and in grad school, I understand. It’s important for you and your partner to share the same values and goals.
Focusing on your career is a great thing, and I think it’s a fantastic start on getting to build yourself and your future while you’re young. However, it can absolutely affect your love life and any relationship you wish to pursue.
Many men keep their distance with women who are completely absorbed in their work, however, as this can often times be indicative of unhealthy behavior in a potential relationship. If the work/life balance is tipped more in favor of the career, many men will proactively avoid pursuing you as a potential mate.
Maintaining balance is the key. It’s also possible you may be better suited for someone who prioritizes work over bonding.
Making a little insignificant extra cash by working too much isn’t going to bring you happiness, comfort, and warmth when you’re old.
Last year, for a short time, I dated a women who rejected me in order for her to work 7 days a week so she can buy an apartment. She was already in her mid-30s. So I suspect she’ll be alone her whole life due to this decision, and probably not any richer either.
Men will avoid women who are too career driven because it means they don’t care about relationships and family.
There was a difference in compatibility and what each other wanted/needs in a relationship. I’d say you were more focused on your career which is a long term impact on your life. I’m an accountant and come tax season it gets hard to date since I can work on average 55-60 hours a week. Do not beat yourself up for it! You’ll find someone who’s career driven in time
Just not compatible- no one is wrong here.
Maybe you just haven’t found the one you want to prioritize above your job.
Done