To keep it short, i just always choke when i feel the slightest sexual tension with someone i like. I am just scared to act on it. It might be experience (or the lack of) but i don’t know. It makes me really insecure.
For instance, i liked this girl. We went in a few dates and i shared a bed with her. I only had the nerve to cuddle with her and was just to scared to kiss her. When i finaly found the courage to give her a kiss in the cheak it was essentially to late. She lost interest. This has happened to me before in different ways.
I also just choke and don’t know what to say. When im on text or in a group its fine but one on one with someone i like it just doesn’t work, i think to much.
2 comments
I’m guessing your fear is of rejection, not of sexual tension.
This is common.
It’s all a numbers game.
No one is batting 100. You go in for a quick kiss, gauge their reaction, then go for more.
You just need to remind yourself: if she is in bed next to you, and you’ve gone on a date, she wants to at least make out with you. So do it.
Same with sex, you go for something small, feel out the reaction, and proceed to a bit more.
Sounds like you need a sexually liberated female friend who’s willing to let you practice flirting with her. Might be hard to find in the real world, especially given how shy you are. However, if you aren’t afraid to spend a little money you could hire a girl on Onlyfans as a sex coach (not to have sex with. It’s like a therapist that helps you get better with sexuality). Just bear in mind that someone like that probably doesn’t have the same worldview or perspective you do.Before I did that I’d go do speed dating or something with real girls (though that might leave you scarred).
I dunno, man. This sort of thing usually sorts itself out after the first time you have sex. Given how nervous you are it probably won’t be a good first time, but if you manage to find an older and more experienced girl who’s sexually liberated and will enjoy teasing you it could be fun.But, I dunno if you’re going to be into that since it will never go anywhere long term. I mean, even going into a short-term experience knowing it won’t go anywhere you’ll probably fall in love with her, and that’s gonna hurt.
Tough spot. Been there. Wish you luck. Perhaps reading books about sex and sexuality can help you gain confidence. That’s what I did. We’re often afraid of what we don’t understand.