i’m not too much of a successful faker if i’m being honest but i had to basically fake a lot because as cringy as it is, i never really fit in and i don’t want to miss out on life for nothing. however, i’ve stopped enjoying things and i think i’m also annoying others. at this point nobody is winning but i’m surely losing. since i have this dissonance, i sometimes end up ruining my relationships too because ultimately, i’m always doubting how they feel about me.
is there any way of finding your own people? i feel unbearably lonely when i’m with my current friend group, i’m very used to having close friends so at this point it’s getting to me… thanks!
edit: i’m in my early 20s, first year im college though so for reference. thanks a lot for the replies and sharing your experiences btw!! cheesy as it sounds, it helps
8 comments
I had the same problem,everyone I knew were about drama,gossip and acting like high school kids,I’m 47.I found friends by going to different groups,I joined a music club,art club and a book club for now.It’s refreshing to be able to have a conversation with people that don’t gossip or any of that nonsense.
Good question, as i’ve never had any “best friends” or managed to keep any friends close for more than 3 years because of social anxiety. I don’t feel like faking is a good way of “finding your people” tho, maybe you should embrace the differences between you and your friends, that could make you more comfortable around them?
If they are really distant from you in terms of tastes and etc, chill and find a new group.
Idk, i kinda suck at dealing with people too
I’m 23 ,with bo friends so I get it. I just can’t hold a conversation even with family sometimes I struggle
Please keep reaching out Honestly. They will find you. We are rare.
I feel this. Most of my friends are long distance and it hurts so much not being able to see them in person. Keep trying and changing locations or settings. That’s all I can think.
I struggled with this and then discovered I was looking too hard at specifics in people. I gave up looking and lived contentedly with myself for a while and they all just kinda, found their way in lol
Go to places where people with similar intetests would gather.
Not sure how old you are but I didn’t find a good, consistent friend group until my 30s.