Women who had an abortion while in a committed relationship, what changed about your relationship?

10 comments

1. [removed]

2. Probably not as much as it should have. We had been together almost 10 years at that point and in our late 20s, but we weren’t in a great place when I got pregnant and adding a baby to the mix at that time most likely would have been the breaking point and I doubt we’d still be together today if we had kept it.

   When I say not as much as it should have though, I mean, it should have brought us closer and communicated through the process and after. Instead we didn’t speak about it at all for a couple years and only then did we each share what we were feeling and how it affected us at that time. Like I said we weren’t in a good place and when we were finally where we could share, it was really just sad the time it felt like we’d lost by dealing with it alone, rather than together. We probably could have also gotten to where we ended up much quicker if we had just talked through it sooner.

   But that was almost 10 years ago and we are married and have a beautiful daughter who is really better than I could have imagined.

3. Our relationship got stronger. We never wanted kids and i was told i was sterile, and when I ended up pregnant at 42 it was a shock. My husband told me he would support me in whatever decision I made, and that really made an impression on me. My respect and esteem for him went up, because he was willing to trust me with a decision that would change his life forever. He really impressed me – not that i thought he’d ever let me down. We have never regretted the decision. In fact, about once a month we’ll see or hear something crazy about kids and ask each other “god, can you imagine if we had that baby…” So it’s all worked out.

4. Absolutely nothing, i was still underage at that time so the math was mathing enough for us to be on the same page regarding this. And regardless the relationship didn’t lasted really long afterwards, we just weren’t a good match, just having fun.

5. I don’t think it changed it, really. We’d been together for only two months, but we were already quite in love and invested in the relationship. I decided I wanted an abortion immediately and the process was thankfully quite quick and straightforward.

   I can’t say I felt any difference in the development of our relationship due to it. We continued to fall in love and get progressively more committed in the following months. But I have no way of knowing how it would’ve been otherwise, of course. Maybe it would’ve taken me longer to develop trust in him? I really can’t say.

6. For us nothing changed, nor did we expect it to. The abortion was a medical decision supported by my doctor, it didn’t have anything to do with the relationship between me and my partner.

7. Nothing changed. We’d been together 3 months at the time, and were already partially living together due to our situations. Moved in together officially after 6 months. I was advised in my early 20s that I’d never likely have children and since I’ve been adamantly child free since I was old enough to know what a baby is, that suited me. He is also adamantly child free. We were both fully on the same page throughout the whole process.

   8 years later we’re still together and engaged to be married 🤷‍♀️

8. I got an abortion that I opted in to do at home as opposed to the hospital since I was only 6 weeks at the time. It ended up taking so long with pre check ins etc that by the time they allowed me to collect the at home kit I was almost 11 weeks. It was by far the most painful thing I have ever been through & shouldn’t I don’t think it should be allowed when reaching almost 3 months. When I was going through the pain I was having to stop myself from literally screaming, the time I did make a significant amount of noise my bf snapped and told me to shut up..luckily I passed out in pain a few minutes after so didn’t have time to argue. From then I started to look at him differently, but then just a few weeks later the abortion laws got brought into America. I’m a massive empath and could only imagine the pain these girls had to go through alongside the fact it was illegal, especially as I had experienced it a few weeks prior. He couldn’t understand why I cared about it or why I was upset, he said I had nothing to do with their laws and it doesn’t effect me. He actually got pissed off that I was upset about a law against women:| This really changed my view on him and luckily I broke up with him a few months after !

9. Nothing. I don’t know why anything would change.

10. I don’t think it changed our relationship but it changed me a lot and my partner has noticed.
    My abortion happened and then 4 months later when I was getting over the depressive episodes – i lost an old friend and my emotions have been everywhere since. My partner probably doesn’t realize my episodes come from the loss of a friend and not the abortion but it’s all the same in my head. I lost someone who i loved.

    My relationship has taken a huge hit when it comes to being really close and talking about kids because it’s kind of awkward. We both want kids but we both can’t afford to live.