My boyfriend and I work at the same job (small team of about 5-6 people) him for 2 years and me for 1 year. We work together almost every day and usually its just the two of us. We also spend most of our time outside of work and weekends together. He’s recently decided he’s unhappy in the job and wanting more, so in a week he’s leaving to pursue something else. It’s a great change for him, more money and health benefits, so I was really supportive and happy for him, as I know he was struggling mentally and physically before.
However, I feel very sad. We’ve been together for 3 years but the year that I’ve worked with him has been the best of our relationship. We’ve become so close and healthy, our communication has improved and we’ve gotten our spark of passion back. I truly think spending time in a work space has allowed these changes. We work so well together, I’m afraid that will all change when we dont have that neutral space together during the day. My boyfriend knows I’m a little sad about it but I’ve tried to stay positive and supportive, so the past couple days he’s been saying how much he hates our current job and doesn’t want to be there (despite it being our last week working together) and how excited he is for the new job (and he should be). I don’t want to be any less supportive because i do fully believe it’s a good choice, but I also don’t want to diminish my own feelings of sadness. Do I talk to him about how I’m feeling? Talk to a friend? Leave it be for now and just try and be fully happy for him? I don’t know what to do but this week has already been very hard and my feelings just keep getting worse
Tl;Dr: bf and I work same job but he’s leaving soon, I’m very sad about it and don’t know how to proceed with my feelings while supporting his new goals.
2 comments
It’s good that your relationship has been built stronger by working together, but hopefully that time gave you building blocks that you can use for your relationship outside of work now that he is moving jobs. It should be considered as the next positive chapter for you guys, and there is no need for your relationship to regress because of it.
You call your workplace “that neutral space”. But it surely can’t be that neutral if you say that your boyfriend *hates* your current job.
You should definitely talk to someone (a friend or a psychologist). I wouldn’t talk to the boyfriend yet. Changing jobs is a huge stress factor on its own.
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From an outsider’s perspective, I can say that:
(1) It’s not “healthy” to be with your partner 24/7. You are still two individuals who should have their own friends, hobbies, etc.
(2) It’s unrealistic to expect that you and your boyfriend will always be able to work together / for the same company (unless you run your own family business).
(3) It’s unwise for both partners to work for the same company. If it closed, went bankrupt or fired people, you might lose both your incomes at the same time.