I’m not sure if this is the correct place to post this.
Obligatory on mobile, forgive formatting.

I feel so ridiculous posting and asking this. I (42f) am newly single with 2 young children, their father is not in the picture anymore. I have a multitude of MH issues, with severe social anxiety, I cannot even go in a shop alone unless one of the children are with me, but I am getting better since I have no one to fall back on -needs must and all that!
My children have never been abroad, and I have just recieved a small inheritance, so I would like to take them on holiday in the next month, they have had an awful year and I’d like to surprise them. I feel confident enough to book this today, but my anxiety is getting the better of me!
I have not been abroad for 20 years and I cannot remember what happens at the airport! Could someone please talk me through it? I have booked a private transfer at the other end to help make my anxiety a bit, how does that work also? Do I have to go and find them? How do I find them? Could ask for special assistance at the airport? My daughter has autism but I feel I would be taking advantage of her diagnosis to help ME…

I feel such such a Brussel sprout asking, but I want to be better and give my children this experience.

Edit – absolutely overwhelmed with the response to this post. I honestly couldn’t thank you all enough. Your help has made me feel a little bit more excited about this now, and slightly less nervous. Thank you all so much! I felt so daft posting this and really wasn’t expecting replies tbh, but you’ve all made me feel so much better. And thanks for the PMs and offers to message while I’m at the airport!

49 comments
  1. Okay. You got this! Get to the airport, find your check in desk for your flight. It’s usually pretty obvious. If you can’t find it, don’t be afraid to ask. No one’s going to bother.
    They’ll check all ID, weigh your bag, tag it, and it’ll scoot off. You’ll then head for security. If you’re paying for parking I’d check the airports website and see if they do parking/fast pass combined. If not no worries.
    Wait in line – take everything out your pockets – some will make you take your shoes off – this is airport dependant.
    You may be pulled over for extra checks, nothing to worry about – the machine generally decides when it’s had enough people and chooses one at random.
    Once you’re all searched, head through and wait.
    They’ll call you up to board – get on board, seat belt on – demonstration by air crew and off you go.
    Repeat on way home.

  2. Do you feel comfortable telling us which airport you’re flying from? Maybe somebody will have flown from there recently.

  3. 1. Get to airport. Work out how and what your arrangements are for this. If you’re driving then pay for parking, if somebody is dropping you off then pay for drop off, if you’re training/busing no problem.
    2. Check in desk, show passport, throw your suitcase their way (if you’re checking luggage), possibly be given some tickets here if not already done so.
    3. Once all checked in, it’s security. Empty pockets remove metal, put stuff in a tray with electricals outside the bag. Liquids in a plastic bag, currently no liquids more than 100ml I believe. Ticket and passport on tray too. Watch tray on carousel as it gets scanned, walk through machine that goes beep when told to do so. If anything goes beep they’ll manually search with another beep thing.
    4. Collect stuff off carousel and pack it up in your carry on bag.
    5. Work out what gate you need to be heading to and when. I usually set vibrating alarm for 20 mins before gate opens.
    6. While waiting for gate time, mooch around duty free je expensive food hall. A good tip is if you’re hand luggage only, then order stuff from boots pre flight and pick up once through security – cheap stuff.
    7. Head to gate when opens.
    8. Check ticket and gate match up, ticket probably says a boarding letter – listen for when instructed to board.
    9. Board when told to. No rush – getting on the plane first doesn’t make you arrive any quicker.
    10. Happy flighting.

  4. These days you’ll probably check-in online a few days before. Find out what terminal you’re flying from. When you get there, there will be a desk for you to check in your luggage. You’ll need to show passports and boarding card (that you get when you check in). One yours bags are on, you head through security. You’ll have to take laptops out and any liquids in a separate bag. There will be instructions. Put your bags on the X-ray machine and then you’ll be guided through a scanner. You might get pulled aside for a hand scan. No big deal. Once you’re through security you’ll have to wait for your boarding gate to be announced on the screens. Have a browse of the shops. Try some free perfume or get some food. When gate is announced- head to gate. Then you’ll board the plane. Job done!

  5. Actually, in 20 years things HAVE changed.

    Typically, you check in online, but in general you queue up in the old way to drop off any luggage that goes in the hold. The staff person will ask you if you packed the luggage yourself. There may be other options to check in with a human staff person or ar a machine in the airport.

    However you check-in, you get a boarding passs that you is scannable (probably on your phone these days).

    Then you go to /through security where your passport and boarding card, which are scanned and checked by a human and also likely at an automatic security gate. Your hand luggage is scanned and you are also checked by a metal detector.

    You are then ‘airside’ and you look on the departure boards for the gate number of the flight and you go to the vicinity of thatwhere you can wait till boarding time. You show your boarding pass again when you board.

    At the other end, you go through passport control and wait for your luggage at the carousels. Again, a noticeboard display will say which flight has its luggage at which carousel.

    Where you exit from passport control, the transfer you have booked will be waiting carrying a sign with your name on.

  6. Not ridiculous at all, there’s definitely a few moving parts to contend with:

    When you first go into the airport, there’ll be a few shops/restaurants as soon as you enter, but most of it’s “airside”. This means that you’ll first go through security. To enter security, usually you’ll scan your boarding pass at arrivals.

    At security, you’ll go into a big queue, and when you’re through that queue you’ll go to a station with some bins. These bins are designed to hold your belongings, including bags, suitcases, jackets and so on. Make sure you include metal items in your pockets as well. You can use multiple bins, and when you’re ready you’ll put the bins onto a conveyor belt, which will go through the detectors, and meanwhile you’ll walk through the metal detectors. If it doesn’t go off you’re totally fine, and can just go forward and wait for your bags to come through. If it beeps, normally this is okay as well – you’ll probably be taken aside to a body scan machine first.

    After that, you’re airside, and there’ll be more space/shops/etc to go through. You’ll see a bunch of big departure boards, listing flights which are leaving. The gate won’t be announced until a little bit before your flight – it should tell you when that gate information will be available.

    First off, if you have hold luggage, you’ll need to go to the bag drop for your airline to drop off your luggage and make sure it fits within the size/weight constraints. Once your gate is announced, head there and there’ll be more seats and waiting areas. Then when you’re ready, there’ll be a queue to board the plane, and crew members will check passports here as well.

    When you get off the plane on the other side, it’s a simpler process – you’ll first go to passport control. For most countries in Europe this is a very simple process, where you present your passport and it’ll be stamped. Note that you’ll need to do the same thing when you’re leaving that country, and then when you’re back in the UK you’ll scan your passport as well. After that, you’ll go to baggage collection and wait for your bags to appear, and finally you’ll be back in arrivals where you can leave again. Some transfer services will have someone stationed here to show you to your transfer, but you’re best off asking the transfer company if you’re not sure.

  7. – Traditionally, you would go to the appropriate check-in desk to get your boarding pass, and they would also print off your luggage tag which they’ll put on your hold luggage and then put your hold luggage on a conveyor belt. Nowadays, there can often be self-service machines to print your boarding pass and luggage tag. Really depends on the airline and airport. Make sure your luggage doesn’t weigh too much otherwise you might have to pay a fine.

    – Once you’ve dropped off your hold luggage and have your boarding pass, you make your way to security. You might have to present your passport and boarding pass to a few people on the way there, so have it ready. Drink any (drinkable) liquids you still have on you and throw away the rest, as you can only take on liquids that are stored in very small transparent bottles placed in Ziploc bags.

    – At security, you’ll be given a few trays which you’ll be asked to put your carry-on bag in, as well as the contents of your pockets, your belt, your jacket and your watch/jewellery. If you have a laptop in your bag, you’ll also be asked to take it out of your bag and put it in a separate tray. You then put the trays on the conveyor belt to get scanned. Then, when the security guard beckons you through, you walk through a metal gate (or sometimes an X-ray machine). If it starts beeping when you walk through it, wait there and let the security guard search you with the metal detector. When you’re all-clear, collect your belongings that have just been scanned.

    – At this point, you’ll usually have some time to eat, shop or just relax. Check the boards to see where your gate number is, and slowly make your way there (in some airports it can be quite a walk away!)

    – When asked to board, you queue to get your passport checked once again and your boarding pass scanned. Then, you either walk down a tube or board a bus to get to the actual plane.

    – Once you’ve landed, you’ll have to present your passport at border control. Depending on what country you’re travelling to, they might ask you a question or two about why you’re visiting.

    – Go to baggage collection and wait at the conveyor belt until your hold luggage appears.

    – Unless you’re bringing alcohol or cigarettes, pass through the “Nothing to declare” gate.

  8. Airports are designed to get lots of confused jet-lagged people who may not understand any English, to the right place. Ask any staff for help.

    Check-in is generally online now, so you only have to queue for a check-in desk if you need to drop baggage for the hold. You need your boarding passes on paper or on a phone app.

    Go to security. This can take a while. Sometimes there’s a shorter or quieter queue for people with children, disabilities etc – just ask. Put all liquids, sharps and electronics at the top of your bag as they need to be scanned separately. Don’t panic if you or a child need to be patted down or stand in the special scanner.

    Then find your gate number (screens everywhere list flights and which gate). Toddle down there, buy snacks on the way, use loos when you get there, then wait to get on plane.

  9. I won’t go into it all as others have already done that.

    However what I will add is if you’re flying in the morning and you can afford the extra, I’d strongly advise you to book into a hotel at the airport the night before.

    There are various options to look into if you drive there like meet and greet and airport parking etc

    It just takes a lot of the pressure off and rushing around knowing you’re already there and just have to check out and either get a short bus ride or even just walk over to the terminal.

    Obviously you could get a hotel for any flight time but it especially helps for morning flights.

  10. Ask for special assistance for your daughter. Neither you nor her know how she will react to that new busy environment and that’s the reason it exists in the first place. Don’t be worried to use it.

  11. As the kids haven’t been abroad before and you’ve not flown for a while – just make sure before you book anything everyone has their own, valid passports. Kiddos can’t travel on parents passports any more!

  12. It’s all very straightforward don’t overthink it, one tip tho make sure you arrive a good hour and a half minimum before flight so you have plenty of time to get through security. Once your through is plenty of places to grab a drink or some food while you wait.

  13. I get your anxiety, I only started to travel relatively late (mid to late 30s) I had nagging doubts and worries but it really does kinda work itself out, airport staff are really accommodating despite their reputation. You’ll be fine and have a great trip.

  14. if your children haven’t been abroad before, I’d guess they don’t have their own passports.

    I would recommend obtaining these and not booking a holiday until you have their passports as there can be long delays in getting them.

    Do you have a valid passport? note that if your passport was issued more than 10 years ago, it will be invalid for travel even if it has still not expired.

    you will need to check how long your passport needs to be valid for, by country. some are 3 months, and others are 6.

    check your passport validity now, before booking – not the day before you fly, as someone did on here recently. that way a cancelled holiday lies.

  15. If you can, taking hand luggage only or paying for an extra bag on board (the cheaper airlines do this but if you are flying say BA you are able to get away with a purse and a rucksack or a purse and cabin sized suitcase) may remove the hassle of getting to the airport very early to check in.

    Before you go to the airport make sure that you know where your passport and boarding passes are. If you are worried about your phone running out of battery (if you go digital) most airlines will also give you the option to print them out. If you were to lose them/your phone ran out of battery you could also ask the checkin desks/customer service to print them for you. A fantastic option for the passport/boarding passes/money/phone/urgent stuff is a bumbag.

    If you are going on an early flight, most hotels have airports and that’s usually a cool option. I have done this at Gatwick and it removes a lot of the stress.

    For your toiletries, you can put them in a ziploc bag beforehand so that getting through the checkin will be easier as you won’t be fumbling with your bag. Similarly, keep your electronics and chargers all in one place (I use an electronics pouch) which will make it easy to take them out. Some airports don’t even make you do that anymore and you can just leave them in the bag.

    If you are comfortable with it, bring easy to remove shoes for the journey, such as slides or sandals that you can wear with socks as they may make you take them off when you go through checkin. The socks are also good for slightly longer plane journeys as you can slide out of your sandals.

    If you are the type to have some food anxiety, you can get dry snacks through checking in (e.g. granola, a protein bar or a banana). It can also be helpful to look at the airport website to see what types of foods you can buy.

    It may also be helpful to bring an empty water bottle that you can fill up after checking in (all airports have places you can do that at these days) so that you are not dehydrated (which makes it more stressful)/ save ££ in buying drinks.

    ​

    I hope this helps and that your trip is a roaring success!!

  16. You have this – I – M50 with autism work in Heathrow, best thing to do is plan and pace your self, get help to navigate the airport, have a look at the terminal map before you set off get a rough idea of where the loos are and where you will eat get a drink.

    In m the main the journey starts when you leave your home, allow for time for things to go wrong, check you have all the right paper work, get someone to listen to you story board it out,

    You have shown super planning skills just by asking on here, speak with the airline ask about a quiet zone should your child need to decompress / kick off.

    Make sure your child doesn’t pack a toy gun, it happens, and yes it is awkward.

    Having a plan such as the order of check in bag drop, clear security, being ready to take your shoes off, etc all help, being aware of you gate number, how long it will take to walk there, the estimated time of departure, gate close, having all the information will aid you in planning and help to reduce your anxiety.

    Accept your a passenger and things will happen out side of your control, eg you may not get the seat you booked, your plane may be of a different type.

    And have fun – get the kids to help tick off the tasks ! Enjoy

  17. If you can, use the airlines app for your boarding passes, you’ll need these to get through security and through to the plane from the gate, have them prepared. Some airlines now make you put your own label on your check in luggage but there’s always help available. Check what gate you’re at and make sure you get there before the gate opens so you have plenty of time.

    When you get to the other side, collect any checked in luggage, and look for either a sign, or kiosk with your airline on it, should tell you which bay to get your transfer from. Make sure you book transfers for coming back too. Depending what time you’re flying back too, check your hotel has luggage storage if you’re flying later than check out on your return. On your last day, store your luggage there and do what you want till your transfer comes to collect. Enjoy!

  18. If you google Gatwick & autism. They have a guide getting through the airport for autism, which is helpful even if you are not autistic. Also make sure you let the airline know about you & your daughter, it is not taking advantage & will help you both. There is also special assistance desk when you get to Gatwick, where you can let them know to access the quiet area once pass security. Some airports also have sensory rooms as well but these need to be pre-booked.

    I would also look at getting a sunflower lanyards, I know these were abused during Covid but might help as you go through the airport.

    If you are going to travel at a busy time, it might be worth looking at fast track security. I haven’t used it but have been told it’s better more relaxed. I’m planning on using it the next time I travel.

    I flew with easyJet, (it was my first time flying in about 10 years) but the app was really helpful telling me which gate I needed to go to & when it opened.

    If you are anxious avoid Wetherspoons, nearly had a meltdown with how busy it was & rude the staff were not just to me but a family in front who couldn’t sit at high tables.

    As an autistic person with anxiety disorder, planning will help.

    https://www.gatwickairport.com/globalassets/passenger-services/special-assistance/autism-guide.pdf

  19. Some great comments here so I just have a few additional tips to add:

    Be prepared for security (I don’t wear a belt or boots so it’s easier, for example). I travel a fair bit, and I always feel flustered and anxious, but it’s much better to try and give yourself some time to ‘recombobulate’ once you’re through – collecting all your stuff and just making sure everything is there. Just take your time and be thorough. If people are being impatient for a space to reorganise their stuff – well, that’s their problem.

    Don’t be worried if you get additional screening, even if the beeper didn’t go off when you went through the security gate. Happens all the time and I think it’s a numbers thing, NOT them suspecting you of something!

    Everyone is a bit stressy going through security. Just focus on your little family bubble, ignore all the other passengers and follow instructions. Ask questions if you’re not sure. Also, sometimes security can be a bit moody and bad-tempered, just ignore that. Smile and be polite.

    If your kids are taking a handheld console (Switch for example), tablet or phone, make sure it’s in the hand luggage. They also have to be OUT of the bag for security and turned on.

    Make sure everyone has a change of undies and maybe a t-shirt in their hand/cabin luggage, just in case your main bags get lost for a couple of days.

    Do not travel without travel insurance.

    It’s an additional expense, but I highly recommend considering getting lounge passes for you and your kids for when you’re at the terminal (you’ll have to look at the airport website and see if there’s one there that you can buy passes to). It’s a little oasis of calm compared to the main departure lounges. Also, you might get priority security as part of the pass, which is much less stressful.

    Just about every airport has a drinking water fountain after security, so it’s nice to just take an EMPTY water bottle and fill it up after security. Air travel really dehydrates you so it’s important to stay on top of that for your physical and mental well-being. You can check here: https://www.wateratairports.com/topic/london-gatwick-lgw/

    Duty free is designed so you have to walk through all of it. It’s a drag and you feel like you’re not getting anywhere. Just good to be aware of that (you’re not getting lost!).

    Airport toilets are typically very clean and spacious. If you need a minute alone to check your things and freshen up, definitely do this.

    Don’t stress about forgetting something – as long as you have your passport, credit card/debit card and phone you’ll be fine. You can buy anything you forgot at your destination (eg. I just buy toothpaste and shampoo once I’ve arrived). Your insurance and flight details (and ideally, your boarding passes) will be on your phone. And there is ALWAYS someone who will help you!

    Edit: just to add your private transfer at your destination – it kind of depends on the company. Hopefully, there will be a driver waiting at arrivals (once you’ve gone through passport control and customs) who will have your name written on a big piece of paper (yes, just like the movies). But they possibly have their own car rank. If it was me, if I didn’t see a driver waiting with my name, I’d go to the information kiosk (every airport has one, and the staff always speak excellent English) and inquire about where to find the company.

    However, best practise is to email the transfer company and ask them what their customer collection procedure is. You could even email again the day before to get the driver’s name if you wanted the additional.security of knowing.

    Edit 2: sorry, just to add that if you have any other questions or you want more in-depth details about any of it, just PM me or ask here. I’m the same age and gender as you, and I’ve solo travelled heaps!

  20. Just wanted to say – don’t feel embarrassed booking special assistance for your trip. It sounds like your daughter AND you need it – your anxiety sounds like a really tough thing to manage. You wont be taking advantage of anyone, it exists to help people travel!

    If you have that they should take you straight to your transfer at the other end as well.

    Well done for booking this trip!

  21. Also a note for the fact you have young children some air ports do have a diffrent area in security you can go through (I don’t know too much what it’s like but I think there is less people and a bit more relaxed atmosphere)
    So this may be easier for everyone.

  22. Avoid the transfer, you’ll be stuck in a coach for hours after travelling with tired kids

  23. People have covered everything about what to do, I hope you have a lovely holiday. I just want to add in to make sure your passports are up to date, and that your kids have passports. They can take up to 10 weeks to process (at least when I did mine last year it was the case)

  24. You can speak to the airline to ask whether you can go through the access security gates rather than the main ones.

  25. Please, for the love of your sanity, please check your airlines policy on bags, and what you have paid for.

    Double and triple check if you have paid for checked baggage. Check the dimension and weight limits.

  26. Airports are designed to shunt you through the right places so you’ll be absolutely fine!

    Basically, the steps are:

    1. Check in online – you’ll get an email usually from your airline telling you when this is open for check-in. Usually a couple of days or so before the flight.

    2. Previously you’d then print the tickets you get from this check-in, now you can normally have them on your phone in a PDF or in an airline’s app, so make sure you’ve got that set up.

    3. In a bigger airport (and I see elsewhere you said you’re going from Gatwick), check which terminal your flight is leaving from. You can normally Google “airline name” + “terminal” + “airport” and it’ll give you a rough idea. Your ticket may well say as well. If you do get the wrong terminal, don’t worry, there’s a free shuttle between the two and it goes all the time.

    4. Get there a couple of hours early and find the big screen when you arrive at your terminal’s main departures hall that lists all the flights and look for yours. It’ll tell you the check-in desk (if it doesn’t, it’s not open yet probably, but you can always ask someone). Go to the check in desk and give them your passport. They’ll weigh the luggage, put a tag on it and it’ll disappear off to be loaded into the hold. They miiight check your carry-on bags as well and give you a tag.

    5. They’ll indicate which way security is and tell you what time boarding starts. You don’t necessarily need to rush through security, but I tend to go through with a bit of time. Basically you’ll go through, wait to be call forward one by one and put your things in trays, with all liquids under 100ml in clear containers together in a clear plastic bag (all bigger or non-clear ones have to have gone in your hold luggage) and take electronic devices out of your bag. Also they’ll normally ask you to take off any jackets and anything that might set off the detector like belts. They all go in the trays too. There’s a bin if you do need to get rid of anything like bottles of water.

    6. Then you’re basically just in the waiting area. There are some restaurants, a Boots and couple of other shops to mooch around. Gatwick IIRC does not have announcements for some reason, so keep an eye on the screens for when your flight starts boarding. When it says so, go to the gate number indicated (can be a long walk) and have your passport and ticket again ready for inspection.

    7. On the other side, you’ll need to show your passport again as you enter the country. Double-check the signs as you join the queues – if it’s EU countries, obviously that queue ain’t for us anymore, so join the non-EU line. You’ll get a stamp in your passport.

    8. You’ll then go to baggage reclaim. Again, look for the screen with the flight numbers, find yours and it’ll indicate a carousel number or letter. Find the carousel and wait a looong time for your bag to finally appear.

    9. Once you have your bag, go through the doors to the arrivals hall (that will sternly warn you there’s no returning lol, so make sure you do have all your luggage). Your pick-up that you booked will highly likely be standing somewhere in the general eye view of those doors holding a sign with your name on it.

    10. Pretty much the same on the way back but for security, depending on the age of your passports, on the UK side you’ll probably be able to go through the automatic barriers where a human doesn’t check your passport but you just scan it and it does some kind of facial checking thing.

  27. Neurodivergent person here – It is more than fine to ask for extra assistance! I have started wearing one of the sunflower lanyards in places where I need a bit of extra understanding and I have found people are generally more forgiving when I am wearing it! (I wear it when making longer journeys – not been to an airport with it yet). It would be more than reasonable for you to wear one during your trip (they’re for all hidden disabilities) if it would bring you any comfort to have that visual sign that you might not be as ‘on it’ as others (I take it off when I get to the point where I don’t need it any more e.g. final train/reaching my destination).

    If you get stuck at any point in the airport, where you don’t know what to do or where to go, just ask a member of staff, or anyone at any kiosk (people who work there generally know the layout of things, so even if you are asking company A where company B is, they will be happy to help).

    On the organisation front – I find it useful to have a big plastic wallet (I got one with a zip) to keep all the travel documents together. Knowing everything is in one big* wallet (*harder to lose) and is secure gives me some peace of mind. I also write down all the details/timings in a list and that helps to comfort my brain a bit – because even though now I am confident, it is still a big journey to make with different factors/things to remember. Writing down any information in advance which may help me on the day helps to know I have a systematic plan/structure to work with.

    Extra notes on going through security:

    * The liquids thing – you can only have maxiumum of 100ml per any bottle, and you can have up to 1000ml (1 litre) of these combined – all of these items must fit into a sandwich bag – they usually have sandwich bags there if you don’t have any. You have to pull out this bag of liquids so it is visible to the security staff.
    * For metals – you usually only need to take your shoes off if they have any metal bits on. After you have put all your things in the tray to be scanned at security, they will get you to step through a scanning machine – they will ask you to stand in a bit of a starfish position for a couple of seconds, then they will wave you out, and maybe do and extra scan just with one of those metal detecting sticks (again, only for a few seconds). If you are wearing an underwired bra then you can wear that through the scanner but they will then definitely just do the extra scan you when you come out (and you have the fun of hearing the metal detector make a noise as it goes over your boobs). Don’t have any negative feelings if they do do an extra scan on you after you come out the scanner machine – its extremely routine and normal (you can tell this by the look on the persons face haha) and isn’t suggesting that they think you are hiding something or have done anything wrong, even though the first time it happens it can sometimes feel a bit incriminating!
    * If you are unsure of anything then you can ask – when you get to front of the queue and it is your turn to put your items in trays, then there is usually a member of staff there as well and you can ask them questions to clarify anything if you are not sure. This is normal and that is why they are there (I have done this lots when I wasn’t sure).
    * Pack your hand luggage/backpack with all these things in mind (i.e. don’t pack the bag of liquids at the very bottom of the luggage because it will be more difficult to get out)
    * When you have gone through the scanner, and all the trays with your items have come through the items scanner, then note that it will take you a few minutes to piece yourself/the luggage back together. This is normal so take your time. Also, although the trays with your items might have gone in one after the other, note that they are unlikely to come out of the scanner that way. Sometimes it will take a little while for any of yours to come through, and sometimes one comes through but you have to wait a while for the others – don’t worry about this as this is perfectly normal!

    An extra comment – Hand luggage is usually one bag, but if you have a small extra e.g. neck pillow, then this doesn’t have to be inside the luggage and can just be attached on the outside of your bag/in your hand/around your neck. Also, if you have a backpack then you can slide it under the seat in front of you rather than having to put it in the overhead storage – I always do this because I like to have things to hand. This might be useful to do as you have kids then you have items close at hand. (I think sometimes you can have both a suitcase and a ‘handbag’ (small backpack??) – I think it depends on the airline, plus I haven’t taken a flight anywhere for a while).

    Please don’t feel stupid asking this. I asked this the first time I was taking a flight alone (and my second ever flight) going abroad and no-one would tell me!!! I was so confused and it was a pretty unpleasant experience because it just isn’t obvious.

    PS. I am sure your daughter is likely to already have some – but if not then I highly recommend getting some ear defenders for the plane (or possibly even the airport too). Just to reduce the stimuli, of which there is an uncomfortable amount when a plane is taking off/landing. Maybe also explain to her that her body might feel different when the plane is taking off/landing – just so she expects it?

    I hope you have a lovely holiday!!! I promise they will cherish it xxx

  28. Some airports have a fast track system for passengers with autism. Gatwick, for example, is very good. They have a disability assist team and you’ll get through checkin at a fraction of the time. You’ll also be able to board the plane earlier. They also have two chill out zones so you can get away from the crowds. Have a great time!

  29. I can totally relate, I research anything new down to minute details, so that I’m fully prepared. I never considered myself to suffer anxiety as such, but I do have some anxieties around travel and this is how I deal with it. I can’t even travel within the UK without a detailed itenarary!

    My parents used to just chuck us all in the car and drive to the nearest ferry port. Vague plans. Frequently went wrong! I couldn’t live like that, unfortunately, spontaneity is not something I enjoy.

    So, I’ll join you in the sprout club. You’ve got this, hope you have an amazing holiday, sounds like you and your kids deserve it.

  30. I have flown 4 times in my life – Bournemouth to Glasgow and back (no passport required) and to Tunisia for a package holiday.

    First – ensure that all of your passports comply with the rules. Some countries insist that you’ve a passport issued less than 10 years ago, some require you to have X months left after your proposed flight home date. The name must also match that the tickets – no typos allowed!

    Second – check that your luggage is not over the weight limit. I always make sure it is under so I have room for souvenirs.

    Third – check the rules for carry on. You do not want you kids to have a tantrum because you have to throw away their snacks. Remember some countries restrict entry for meat and dairy products – it’s not just drinks.

  31. Absolutely don’t be afraid to ask for help day of, no matter how silly you think your question is I can guarantee you’ll probably not even be the first person to ask that day.

  32. Just travelled through Leeds Airport and I have major anxiety and a toddler. Staff were really helpful. Leeds bradford use the sunflower lanyard and have special assistance desks.

    Special assistance could just be another adult to help you with managing two kids, an offical to jump you to the front of the security que or even just to help point you in the right direction.

  33. Put a couple of cool fidgets on a sunflower lanyard for your little one to wear, it’s also completely valid to wear one yourself if you have anxiety. Ear defenders might be a good shout for your daughter too if she wears them, will help if the airport is rowdy, and I also find people know what ear defenders on a kid means and can be a useful nudge for people to be accommodating and understanding if she struggles with the busy airport. I’m taking my autistic kiddo away for the first time this year and am equally nervous so these comments have been super helpful for me too

  34. Have some games/toys/electronics to keep the kids entertained while waiting in departures or in the event of the delay – just watch out for any sharp or metal parts that may be flagged up at security. Ipads/tablets should be charged and able to be switched on at security if asked (might be more relevant when travelling home, make sure its charged up).

    The confirmation email from your private transfer will usually have instructions of where to meet for pick up – if not then just call and ask. Most private ones will have the driver stand with a card with your name on at the arrivals hall that you just have to look out for.

    Im a regular traveler but i get anxious if i dont know the planned details every step of the way. Someone telling me that everything is organised and i just need to turn up at the airport at a certain time gives me serious sweats. I have to ask to see copies of booking confirmations!

    Having multiple copies of the itinerary/boarding passes (one in my handbag/ one in my suitcase) helps me. Oh also – take a photograph of each of the passports and keep them in your phone. It helps in an emergency

  35. Go to the airport before flying to get your bearings.

    Check the website of the airport you’re flying from. Most have passenger assistance for people with extra needs. Don’t be ashamed to ask for their help – it’s what they’re there for.

  36. For the other end. You get off the plane and assuming abroad you’ll first be sent to immigration. Where you queue to show your passport.

    Then you go to Baggage Claim – there will be signs in English to show the way.

    After baggage claim follow the exit signs and go through customs, in Europe this has always been a zero event, for the likes of the USA they look more closely.

    The private transfer depends on who it is with. You’ll have received some info when you booked it. For us this year we went outside and found the Jet2 desk, sometimes these are inside, and they directed us to our car.

    Make sure you know your arrangements for going back too.

  37. Book it, right now. The airport is dead easy, so don’t let that put you off booking. Private transfer would be great though, they pretty much arrive at the airport when you do, so that’s probably the least stressful way of leaving the airport the other side.

    Have a great time, your kids will no doubt love the time away.

  38. I don’t live in the UK… but I traveled with someone with huge phobias.

    One thing we did? We took a couple of no pressure rides to the airport. Parked, looked around.

    I think one of the best ways to not feel anxious is realize how happy some people will be to help!

    It’s OK to say I don’t know where to go. Can you help? I’m not sure what to do. Can you tell me what I do next?

    I will tell you one thing that helps me. You will need your ID and boarding passes at different times. I suggest you have some king of pocket/bag that you put your documents in every time.
    When I get flustered I absent-mindedly put it away and then get flustered grabbing it again.

    Good luck and have fun!!

  39. You can take empty water bottles through security and there are places to refill them on the other side – I’d strongly recommend doing this as bottled water in the airport can be expensive and depending on your airline/route there may not be any in flight refreshment included.

  40. Get some ziplock sandwich bags and put any toiletries you’ll be taking in your carry on and pack them before flying. I have a zip up pouch thing that I keep my passport, wallet, pen etc separate to all the other gubbins in my bag. You’ll have to take your electronics and toiletries out of your hand luggage when going through security, so if these are already packed and kept at the top of your bag for easy access, it will run much more smoothly. Take a phone charger with you. Make sure everyone has their jackets off before queuing up. And don’t wear any accessories that might set off the metal detector. I have a special ‘travellin’ bra’ with no wire in it for this purpose!

    Gatwick is a nice airport, have a great holiday!

  41. The thread basically has everything covered.

    If you are flying outside of europe, you may need a visa. A simple Google search will let you know on the foreign office website.

    All airlines will offer special assistance which will avoid the queues going through security and is worth looking into for your daughter.

    Heres what British Airways say as an example

    https://www.britishairways.com/en-gb/information/disability-assistance/how-to-request-assistance

    It will be similar for every airline.

    I would say, check which terminal you’re flying from in advance, this is the easiest slip up that people make, it’s no big deal to resolve, but it adds a level of stress.

    Make sure you arrive 2 hours before flight departure time for European flights and give another 30 mins for further afield, no point arriving much before as you may not be able to check bags in, but having lots of time to sit and have a beer/coffee/juice is better than being rushed and stressed.

    If you plan on carrying hand luggage (stuff larger than a small backpack or purse) , get priority boarding, it just gusrentees you will be able to take your mini suitcase on board, although the airline may give it to you regardless if you request assistance.

    Consider booking lounge access for a quieter terminal experience, it’s usually around £30 p/p and has snacks and drinks included

    Download some movies and games that can be played offline for the kids on their phones/I pads to keep them busy

    Don’t overly worry though, the system is designed for tired people who may not even speak English, you will be fine.

  42. Just came back from Kos. So just to wish you happy flying.

    Aim to be at the airport 3 hours prior to the departure time. If you have kids like we do, I would recommend booking an airport transfer service. Makes life so much easier as they drop you off directly outside the departure entrance.

  43. Make sure all your passports have at least 6 months left to expire, otherwise you’re going to need to get new ones fast!

  44. Hey fellow single mama with anxiety. Iv managed to navigate my home airport a couple times but always had my parent meeting me at the other side. The best I have done alone is caravan holidays a few hours drive away.
    •get there with plenty of time
    •search the kids carry on bags the night before and the morning of so you don’t end up standing in the queue for bag scan worrying they have somehow packed a knife
    •remember that the airport is a stressful place anyway! It’s not just you. Your children may also be stressed especially if one is on the spectrum
    •there will be a familiar fast food place like McDonald’s or Burger King, this will help with your kids stress levels
    •keep an eye on the board but don’t stare at it for 2 hours straight

    I hope you have the best time!!!

  45. Have a fantastic holiday, OP. You can do this, and your kids will love it 👍

  46. You did the right thing here in asking how to do it. Well done you for being so brave to do that, it’s not easy to ask for help.

  47. You have to have a pint in the bar. Even if it’s 7am. It’s the law

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