How do you go about approaching a women you find attractive?

25 comments

  2. 1. I remind myself that I’m a fat piece of shit.
    2. I remind myself that, if I were good enough, I wouldn’t be single at this point in life.
    3. I see who she talks to, or who approaches her, then compare them against how I look.
    4. The urge goes away.
    5. Then I go about my day.

  4. 1. Make sure the timing is appropriate and you’re not bothering them and interrupting what they’re doing.

    2. Be polite, respectful and brief.

    3. Remember that they are a person, and being beautiful doesn’t make them better or worse than women who aren’t.

    4. If you get a “go away” vibe then just go away. You shot your shot and missed. There will be plenty of other shots.

  6. Try and find something about her that you could spark a conversation about. Then, after a little conversation, say it’s been nice speaking to you. Maybe we could grab a coffee together sometime? If you get rejected, don’t feel too bad about it. Maybe she just doesn’t like coffee 😉

  7. I open my mouth and say stupid shit. It usually doesn’t work but sometimes it does.

  8. Compliment something they are wearing or try to notice something unique about them. “I really love your hair”. “That’s a beautifil necklace. Where did you get it?”. Or making a witty joke about anything arbitrary that you notice around you to try and lighten the mood. You just want to come across as non chalant as possible. Make it unconditional too. Don’t feel as if you have to get the girls number. Just try and make her day better.

  9. It really depends on the context more than anything.

    If it feels like a good context (say we are both at a house party) then I go say hi and introduce myself and try and start a discussion probably about the party we are at (who do you know here) and branch from there (oh wow you went to university with so-and-so? what was taht uni like?)

    But there are plenty of contexts where I think its hard to walk that fine line of appropriate (say this is a waitress) where I generally don’t. The advice I have gotten is there is to give her *your* number to put the ball firmly in her court. But personally I hate a cold approach (noting that in the above good context scenario you already have some mutual bonds so its not a true cold approach).

  10. First thing I do is check to make sure she doesn’t already have a restraining order against me….

  12. Remove teeth and then gnaw on their shoulder at the bar. Works every time.

  13. Speak to them. See if there’s chemistry. Should be obvious fairly quick.

  15. 1. Eyes. Do I notice her looking at me? If I look at her, does she smile or look away? If she looks away or avoids eye contact, then she’s not interested. If she smiles you’re probably good to go talk to her.

    2. Go talk to her. Depends on the context. When I was in school, I’d try to leave class at the same time, hold the door, and start chatting as we left. If the convo was good, I’d ask if she wanted to go to lunch or dinner literally right then, and go after (worked maybe 2/5 times, one was married). If I can’t make an immediate date happen, I’ll offer a specific plan to do something convenient for her. You have to keep the momentum going or it’ll burn out, so waiting too long between talking and doing something is bad (that said, you can’t rush it either, it’s entirely different with each person)

    A girl will like you if she likes the feelings she has when she’s around you. If you’re showing her new (to her) and exciting things, or otherwise teaching her something, there’s a very good chance she’ll be attracted. If she feels negative emotions (bored, bad scared/nervous, etc) then she’s not going to be interested in you.

    Some other points-

    Getting rejected is a good thing. Getting rejected means you tried, which takes confidence and proves you have it, and asking is more than most will do. It also means you can rule out one more person as ‘not the one’ for you!

    You only need one woman. It just suddenly happens then you’re not single anymore. I don’t even think about all the girls that weren’t interested, and I’m grateful it didn’t work out with any of them because I love my wife and wouldn’t be with her if I was with someone else- it just took a while to finally meet her!

    Finally, if you’re having trouble attracting people, maybe you just have to become more attractive. Think about yourself, then think about if a girl would want to be with you. What kind of experience would dating you be like? If it’s not enticing, work on that. For me, I had to quit smoking, lose weight, get better with finances, and start DOING more interesting things (which both makes me more interesting to talk to, and gives her something to imagine and be excited for us to do together)

    As you become more attractive, you’ll go from chasing to being chased (kind of, how girls do it where they just open up very easy opportunities) and it’s a LOT easier to find that one for you!

    Or, just shoot your shots (‘hey! I’m ____, I think you’re pretty! What are you doing after this?’ Sheer confidence goes a long way), have a strong chin, and keep developing yourself as you do it so you improve your success rate.

    Edit: a couple women commented about how they get nervous and look away instead of smiling. I’d notice that, too! If I it’s one or two looks, I wouldn’t think anything of it, but after the third time, I’d notice try to smile or hold eye contact for a moment so she knows I’m interested, too. You can tell if someone is nervous or if they don’t like you, one feels cold and the other feels shy.

    If you’re a girl who feel like guys don’t notice you’re interested, you probably have to be more forward. Many men will not make a move if there’s is any chance of being labeled a creep at all, so girls are going to have to start taking the initiative (which is safer for girls anyway)

  16. Just like the video:
    “That girl looks awesome”
    “go talk to her”
    “no”

  17. No point. Worse odds than Vegas.

    In a social setting, like a bar, I might sit by her and try to organically strike up a conversation, if that’s even possible. But even then, 99.9% of the women I am attracted to (rare enough as it is) are married/dating someone or have a shitty personality.

  18. I’ve had minor success with cheesy one-liners. If it’s corny enough they will actually laugh. May not get a number always, but I end with a fun conversation at the very least.

  19. 1. See attractive woman
    2. Don’t approach her because I’m too nervous
    3. Get a little bit of liquid courage(but not too much. Just the right amount where I feel like I can do anything without acting biligerent.)
    4. Approach woman with buzzed confidence.
    5. Say some stupid pick up line.
    6. Get rejected and don’t care, or somehow make her laugh and get her number.

  20. I met a few dating coaches years and years ago, in the old times back when I was in Uni or college.

    An old technique one told me was to just talk to a few when you’re in a social setting.

    Not to ask them out, just actually converse with then about general stuff for a few nights or weeks.

    I think the point is to demystify women in your head and just getting used to being sociable and comfortable until you find the person you really like and make a move.

    Something like that, don’t take my word for it.

  23. You say to her, “ you look a a lot like my third wife” when she says “OMG how many times have you been married “ you say “ twice” and ask her out to dinner.

  24. Timing is key. The rest is charm and luck, fate to a degree. Use common sense. Don’t approach someone when they’re not approachable. For example, don’t hit on women at work, women on public transport. Often, they just want to do their thing and be left alone. Look for times where you can have a somewhat intimate moment, while still providing comfort and openness in the situation. You NEVER want to make a women feel trapped. She should always have the option to stop talking to you, and walk away. To a degree, it’s fate like I said, I mean if a really, really hot girl came up to you, I doubt you’d care about what you’re doing and still want to talk. It’s kinda the same for women, I think (but I don’t know I’m a man). I can imagine that women would be more/less likely to entertain the man, based on how she percieves him. Most women say they’d never like to be hit on at work but I’m sure there is that one “dream guy” that would kinda negate all these rules.

    Do your best, be yourself, and understand it’s impossible to please everyone, you’re just naturally not going to attract a large percentage of the women you hit on.

    As i get older, I feel it gets simpler, but not easier! At this point in my life, if I see a women I’m interested in, I mean, just use common sense and talk to her. After all she’s just a human. I think us men like to make it complex partially to prevent us from having to face our fears. At the end of day, again, she’s a human like you and I.

  25. I dont, im not an idiot. What if she likes me? Dafuck am i supposed to do then.

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