Hi
Im a very reserved/shy young man. Im trying to get out of my shell and socialize with new people now But, a large fear of mine is that new people I meet, will judge me for not having had a girlfriend before (Im 23). In the past, people I’ve confessed this too have usually reacted in a very judgmental way. On a regular basis, i don’t feel all that bad about not getting out there yet. However, when people look down on me for it , it really does hurt.
I know that it is usually wrong to lie, but id like to come up with a smooth way to pretend that im at least not TOTALLY inexperienced.
Any ideas for things i could say?
9 comments
Dude I’m 31 with 3 bodies, safe to say I’m hella inexperienced 🤷🏽♂️ oh well. No way to hide it, it will show itself especially around the more experienced people better to own it. I’m about to start telling people I did 12 years in the pen. Like that’ll explain everything right 😂 😂
You’re only 23. I wouldn’t sweat it. Find the women that like to teach. They may find inexperience endearing even.
A woman worth dating won’t look down on you for that
I believe the standard is “I had a girlfriend in high school, we met at summer camp, ldr, she lives in Canada, you wouldn’t know her”
In all seriousness, women would much rather be with a noob virgin who takes it slow than some weirdo with any amount of experience who thinks women are sex dolls and takes pointers from aggressive porn.
I’d say “just own it.” If others react poorly then don’t keep them in your life.
Confidence is key, and there’s no confidence with dishonesty/shame.
I’m 40 and I’ve had only 2 girlfriends and not a whole lot of dates overall compared to my peers, so I can relate. I know how quick some people are to judge inexperienced men. We have to remember that everyone has to start somewhere and it’s not always at the same age.
OP if they ask you about previous GFs just tell them about a couple of the girls you had crushes on. But generally don’t go into your dating history that much. And if they ask for pics with your previous GFs, just tell them you delete pics because you don’t want to be reminded of them.
There is nothing wrong with inexperience! My current bf was totally inexperienced with dating and sex before we got together. I thought it would be a roadblock at first but it ended up not being a problem at all. We were 29F and 28M when we got together. We are very happy.
If a person is not willing to give you a a chance due to inexperience, they are not the kind of person you want to be with. 🙂
Keep in mind— just because men have experience, doesn’t necessarily mean they are good in bed. You need to re-learn with each and every partner, as everyone is different.
Thanks for all your advice. Although I wish I worded my post better.
I’m not concerned about what prospective partners would think. I’m just worried about what people i socialize with will think when the topic comes up. If I’m not close with a person, then I can’t explain myself fully, so it gets weird.
For example, a couple months ago, a new co worker just straight up asked me if I had a girlfriend in front of many people, and when I said no, they started probing for details of my “last” relationship. It was embarrassing.