Me (f26) and my partner (m27) been together for a couple months and ever since we started dating he had erection problems. He gets (not fully) erected and loses it as soon as he is about to put it in or even when he puts the condom on. He only stays erected when I give him oral or a handjob. I assume that this is a rather psychological issue. I’m understanding, it’s out of his control, I tried to ask him if there’s something bothering him or something he might be overthinking about, but he doesn’t want to talk about it, it seems. He’s the kind of guy, who thinks if he can’t perform (in different ways), if he shows emotions or talks about problems, he’s not manly enough, which makes me really sad! This is a devils spiral. He keeps his problems for himself, gets frustrated in bed, keeps it to himself, gets more frustrated and he simply works against himself. Overall he is a very sweet and lovely man and I see that he probably went through hard stuff in the past. As I’m writing this, I see that the sexual problem is a result of a mental problem and this probably doesn’t quite fit here. I can’t force him to go to therapy. I was thinking if I somehow could help with the erectile problem, help him to have a little success in bed, he might gain a bit more confidence and be able to break out of this spiral at some point. Am I thinking too far?
Edit: I see, that this is a frequent topic. Mods were so kind to restore my post, because I seek for advice on how to communicate with someone who doesn’t want to communicate and the FAQs didn’t help me. I want to state, that I’m NOT afraid, that he might not be attracted to me. I’m aware of the different causes and many ways of solutions. But to find the right solution, I need to be able to communicate to him tactfully.