Recently started talking to a guy I briefly dated last year. We had ended because we were both going thru some personal life events that couldn’t allow anything to progress (him being deployed to Korea and me going thru some personal life issues). I reached out to him the other day (I was in his area and was wondering about him) and so we started talking again. At first I was excited to have him come visit to hang out but as the days go on, I feel that who he is is not someone I want to give my time to. He has a tendency to talk of himself a lot and doesn’t ask me many questions about myself and things I say (doesn’t feel like he’s engaged in what I say or just waits for me to finish so he can continue on). He’s in the military, which I don’t mind, but he is constantly speaking down of others and those below him in rank and even just in general he has a superiority to him and it’s starting to bug me that he does this (I feel he sees himself as way better than others and it just doesn’t sit right with me).
I feel like he’s different than before.
Is that a bad reason to break it off with someone even though I was the one who started things back up?
4 comments
Anyone can end any situation for any reason they want…if it’s enough to make you wanna not continue then it’s valif
The great thing about relationships is that they’re personal and subjective. You get to end them for whatever reason you want. His military personality may contribute towards you feeling like you have to defend your feelings in a court of law, but you don’t. Your feelings are your own, and you get to prioritize them and simply break it off for no other reason than you want to.
>doesn’t feel like he’s engaged in what I say or just waits for me to finish so he can continue on
I’ve heard many friends in the past drop a guy if he did this even on first\early dates as it is indicative of a partner who is potentially more self-centered. You want to look for a supportive and genuinely interested partner for long term.
>he is constantly speaking down of others and those below him in rank and even just in general he has a superiority to him
Also not a great sign in reference to how he might treat you in certain circumstances occur later in life, what if you find yourself in a situation where in his perspective you are ‘lower’ than him? Would he unintentionally\purposely speak down to you too?
Either person in your situation can break things off at any time if they so please. Don’t feel obligations to stick with red flags just because you made the move to give it a second go as the whole point of the second go, was to gauge if things are right for you both – at it looks like it’s not for you which is totally fine.
Hoping you do find someone who is more interested in your views and lesser affected by standing in future!
You are not forced to start a relationship with anyone, you can quit for any reason YOU find valid even if that sounds stupid to others. On your post, I’d saying he is showing major narcissistic and sense of grandeur traits which are a turn off for a lot. If you don’t like it, it’s a very valid reason to stop it.