Hello, I (F 30) have been dating my partner (M 34) for the past 7 months. It’s going great, i love all the time I spend with him but lately it’s really starting to get to me that I havent seen anything from his personal life except the inside of his car and met his dog when we go for walks. Ive tried bringing this up several times and he just gets really evasive, one time he said he just likes keeping things in his life compartmentalized. Idk what is going on, ive never been inside his home, met any of his friends, or any of his family and it just seems like he is going out of his way to make sure people dont know about me. Like is this normal? Ive never dated anyone this long without so much as stepping foot in their home!
I’ve thought of the obvious thing like he’s married but I really dont think that’s it. I cant tell if he’s just embarrassed by me or what but it’s really really starting to get me down and make me feel bad about myself and make it hard to even think of a future together.
We’re going on a camping trip this weekend and Im going to just tell him how it’s making me feel because I just cant take it anymore. Do you think that’s a bad idea or should I wait until after the trip? I want us to have a good time. Any advice or opinions are welcome.
4 comments
Definitely tell him how you feel! You might be hoping for this relationship to become more serious and he may not be if he doesn’t wanna incorporate you into the rest of his life
Yeah… he’s married
This does give secret family vibes BUT I get where he is coming from.
I was the same for a long time, I hated mixing anything friends and family, work and relationships. I think it was a mix of having different “modes” between them and growing up in a very dramatic family. Whenever my family would meet my friends or boyfriends they’d get overly involved in my relationships and ruin things.
Things changed for me as I made really solid friendships and felt more comfortable in who I am.
Maybe he keeps you separate because he’s scared something will ruin it?
I do think you should talk to him about it because whatever his intentions it’s not fair to keep you in the closer, but maybe wait until you’re back and not stranded with him in the middle of nowhere!
Sounds to me he’s holding a red flag and walking with it … the biggest point is that he doesn’t want anybody to know about you.