We just had an argument about it. Ive been friends with a group of girls since high school and we’ve had drama here and there. Recently we had an argument but it was resolved a day after which ive forgiven them. In high school i dont remember anything bad they did to me besides ignore my texts but its cuz we had finals so i now understand everyone has their own lives. But the recent fight has caused my bf to hate my friends to the point where he’d call them nasty nasty names when i mention them. It makes me uncomfortable and i told him to stop but he says he doesnt care and continues calling them names. Whenever my friends are around, my friends had the decency to say hi while he ignores them and walks away. I told him thats so embarrassing for me but he doesnt care because theyre not his friends and knowing “what they did to me” was unforgivable. Problem is idk WHAT.Ive tried avoiding talking about them at all and when im out, i simply dont tell my bf and refer to my friends as “people” instead. This was until he brought up considering patching things up with my guy friend. These ppl im mentioning has been there for me before my bf.

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My bf used to dislike my guy friend too because he thought we had a thing but i swear to god we never had one and we’ve always been platonic. And also because my guy friend cut contact with me when he was with his controlling ex with made me upset but theyve broken up and we’re friends again. Now that im friend’s with my guy friend’s new girlfriend, i think that put my bf at ease and some sort of peace with my guy friend. My guy friend doesnt have beef with my bf whatsoever. He’s always chill with my bf. My bf told me he wanted to patch things up and that he doesnt remember when the friendship between them ended, which led to me explaining and linking back to all my friends and how he basically has a problem with all of them just because they made a mistake and we fought.We had a whole argument and i justified and showed him proof of how my friends changed and how theyre grateful, helpful, supportive etc. But he doesnt wanna see that. He keep saying they im not understanding from an outsiders’ POV and i will never understand how theyve constantly treated me bad and its a recurring thing. Which he’s right on the fact that i will never understand, but i dont see and cant find what they did to me thats a constant problem? We all agree we are low maintenance in friendship but we meet often to catch up after work.

My bf and i eventually agreed that he will try and stop the name calling at the very least if he cant forgive them for “what they did to me”, given i stop talking about them unless i let him know when im leaving/coming back from hanging out with them. And that at this point, he doesnt see a point in patching things up with my friends including my guy friend which is the very least. He said if he hears one more thing my friends has done to make me upset, either theyre not invited to our wedding or there wont be one. Because he would rather walk away than see his parter getting “treated badly” by those closest to them. I did tell him seems like he cares more about his own feelings than mine.

I understand its my fault for ranting to him sometimes about my friends. But is making mistakes and ranting about an inconvenience not normal? My friends messed up sometimes yes but we’re mature enough to talk about it and forgive each other. Im just so angry at my bf for even saying that last bit. And i did mess up by triggering him and giving him shit for not liking my friends when he was actually in the process of readying himself to patch things up with them. I wish i left it alone but he brought up not knowing where things ended between him and my guy friend, it made me so angry. Im so angry.I do see a future with my bf and we’re compatible in many ways and ways i didnt think id find in anyone. But this issue with my friends…i just hope it dies down.FYI: He isnt controllling, hes happy when i make new friends. He just has an issue with my closest long-term friends because he thinks they treat me bad and cant forgive them.

I need to get this off my chest somewhere. Im too angry to keep it in.

2 comments
  1. What was this recent fight about? In what ways does your boyfriend think your friends have treated you badly?

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