As a man, what is the hardest thing about being single?

50 comments

1. lack of intimacy with that one you know well

2. The loneliness sometimes?

3. Being lonely when sad 🙁

   That, and eating alone. Sometimes I want to go try out some restaurant but I dont want to go alone so I just dont go. There are at least a dozen restaurants I’d go to if I wasn’t single.

4. A lot.

   You gotta pay the bills yourself so you don’t have as much to go around for other things.

   You gotta do all the chores by yourself; grocery shopping, home/house repairs, do the cleaning.

   If you live an aread that isn’t easily walkable then you need to find a ride if your car dies.

   Loneliness is a real thing being single.

   No sex on request whenever (almost) whenever you want.

   There’s no “us against the problem” only you against whatever problem you have.

   I’m sure there are others but that’s off the top of my head. All things I never thought of until I started comparing my life now to when I was single all the time. Except for the loneliness thing, that always hit me hard.

5. No one to share anything with. Feels better to have something with someone than have it all alone. At the end of the day though i look deep and realize nobody cares for my problems so i just deal with it.

6. Having nobody to talk to about personal stuff. Also, having a partner was great for providing motivation and meaning, and it’s a bit harder to provide that by myself. On the other hand, I have way more time and freedom

7. Obviously, being single, there’s the lack of intimacy, lack of emotional support, the lack of physical contact, no sex, coming home to an empty house etc. and the lack of those things in my life all boils down to one thing for me: loneliness.

8. Honestly for me it’s just the pressure from my parents and family members on when I’m gonna get married or find a SO.
   I’m 22 btw.

9. Meeting women by far.

10. That people treat me as though it’s some sort of choice. That there is some sort of population of single, attractive, interesting women I’m actively avoiding.

11. I’d like to get complimented a little more / feel a little more desired. Not necessarily in a sexual sense just in general the way a partner would make me feel.

    Also being told that me being single for a long time now simply must be because I dont even practice basic hygiene or that I obviously must be an asshole, by people who literally do not comprehend how easy they have it and that their experience isnt universal.

12. My penis, constantly bricked up

13. Lack of cuddles

14. I miss having someone to love and make me feel loved.

15. The longer it goes on, the more worthless you feel.

    You try to concentrate on hobbies and other interests, but it all feels empty with no one to share them with.

    You start to wonder what the point is in continuing when you can’t forsee a time when you won’t be alone.

    People tell you it’ll happen eventually, but I’m nearing forty, and ‘eventually’ hasn’t happened for me, so whenever people tell me that now, I simply can’t believe them.

    People say not to place all your worth on another person, but we are social animals, and it is written in our DNA to want to be with someone. We don’t need a partner in the same way we need water. But we do need someone in order to live a fulfilling life.

16. In my case, it is the knowledge that it didn’t have to be this way, I could have invested in myself when I was young and healthy, lose weight, build muscle and build wealth…but I didn’t, because I was stupid.

17. Worrying that you’ll never find someone. I didn’t enjoy single life until I fixed my self esteem & focused on my values. Now I feel pretty happy with my life, and I’ll bring someone else in when it feels right.

18. The dry spells. A single man is almost never having as much sex as he wants. casual sex is not as common as some would make it sound. Not among heterosexuals.

    Don’t get me wrong, I ultimately prefer relationships but it would nice to be able to fill the in-between with some casual intimacy. I get touch-starved if nothing else.

19. Trying to find someone worth getting in a relationship with and trying to put yourself back out there.

20. The intimacy and not having anyone to cook for.

21. Everyone assumes that I have so much free time that they will do me a favor and fill it up for me with their chores.

    It’s really annoying and no, I don’t have much of free time. I have to do everything myself and everything takes time.

22. Honestly probably the desire to be with someone. I don’t mean in a sex-crazed horny guy way, but just to be able to lay back with someone, holding each other and being content to do nothing

23. Nothing if you like being single.

24. You have no one to be completely honest to.

    I have things in my mind, stuff that I’ve done and wish to do that I can’t simply say to anyone, no matter how close. I probably would’ve exploded if I hadn’t told my therapist (not saying it’s cool to use your partner as a therapist, it’s just that I got very anxious about those things I ended up spilling the beans with him.)

25. Loneliness, lack of intimacy, being touch starved.

26. Life is better with a best friend

27. There are good times that happen, where I look around and wish I could share it with someone. But there’s no one to really tell. I just gotta give myself an inside voice hell ya.

    There are bad times that happen, where I look around and wish I could have someone confirm the inside voice, that says it’s going to be just fine.

    There’s stuff in life that would be a ton easier, if I had someone to help complete them. Goals, basic to do things, or just another opinion.

28. My ex honestly, I still love here

29. That society tells us we’re doing something wrong by being single.

30. Harder to check myself for ticks.

31. Figuring out whether your new romantic interest is going to ruin your life or not

32. Zero Boobies

33. I’m single for the first time in a while, and for me it’s not being able to share the highs and lows of my days with someone who loves me for me.

34. “It’s not about the horniness, it’s about the loneliness”

35. Knowing that no one is coming to rescue me lol, as in no woman would ever approach me. If I want her, I gotta go after her 😭

36. Honestly I like being single. Biggest downside for me is that most of my friends are married so that excludes me in some couple related activities.

37. lack physical touch

38. Feeling worthless.

39. The never-ending annoyance and irritation that comes with being interrogated about why I’m single.

    I’m in reasonable shape and have my own life. It just escapes people that I just have no desire to share any of it and wouldn’t even entertain the idea of dating until after retirement.

40. As a long-time single guy, one of the hardest things is either people thinking something is wrong with you or thinking that people think that.

    Also, you’re stuck having to do lots of stuff for yourself that you might need help with (like cooking, cleaning, errands, etc.). Also, people don’t realize being single can be expensive.

41. Some people look at you a little differently. “Why is a guy like that single? Something is up.” I’ve gotten that a number of times. My girlfriend of 2 months even said recently, “how did a guy like you not get taken by now?” I’m 28.

42. Yo I made this message for r/lonely but the sub is private but I thought it could fit here. I need to vent.

    The hardest thing is growing without someone I love and the lack of intimacy. I sometimes feel just disgusting. I never had a serious relationship at 28 yo.

    The almost physical pain when I see people not that different than me having fulfilling relationships, and feeling like I have no power to have the same thing. The terrible feeling when I ask myself “Wtf I need to do?”. It’s something literally EVERYONE I know have or had in the past. EVERYONE. Even if they are huge gamers, fat, skinny, tall, small, even if they party, even if they’re dumb af, even if they are addicted to drugs, even if they are low-life losers, whatever the fuck they are. I know wide variety of people and they all had someone in their life.

    I’m neurotypical (i’m ADD but whatever), I have a ok personality, physically i’m fat but it’s nothing like the people you see in the TV Shows, I like curvy/plus size women it shouldnt be a huge problem for me, I see a lot of fat folks with beautiful plus size women everyday, I have nice teeth, I’m not balding, i’m 5’11”, I have a good career, I have an insane hygiene I shower 2 times a day it’s almost a fucking problem, I take care of people I like, I have good friends around me I don’t feel like i’m alone outside of a romantic relationships. I take no drugs, no casual drinking I only drink at parties and I don’t smoke. God damn, do I need to shoot me with anabolic steroids and act like a manipulative piece of shit to have someone? I cringe af saying that shit but at this point I just don’t know what to do. Being myself doesn’t work.

    Last month I had a lot of hope, I think this person was someone I could really love and I was beginning to see her in my future, and I’m not even saying that because I want to be with her only because I’m alone, I genuinely liked her a lot, I still do even if she doesn’t talk to me anymore and doesn’t want to. Why would she anyways when she’s pursuing a relationship with another guy? Good for him, I wouldnt want her to think about another guy if she was with me. At some point she had the same feelings, she confirmed it and we were talking for like 6 to 15 hours a day it was actually bonkers, I never felt so good with a woman in all my life even if sometimes it was a little bit one sided, but it went to shit like every other times (not that it happens a lot lmao). She’s still not over her breakup with her ex and she’s going back with him. I have absolutely nothing against her, I still like her a lot, but it just show how unlucky I am, the bad timing and shit.

    We cuddled a lot and I guess its better than nothing and for some people here it means a lot but I can relate, until 6 months ago the last time a woman touched me was in high school, but I just want a LTR. Now i’m just here day dreaming about romantic k-drama level scenarios with her that will never happen. I miss her a lot.

    Can for one time a woman I find beautiful and funny unmatch someone for me? Dump someone for me? Reciprocate all my feelings? DM me first? Chase me a little bit? Show that she want me? Play with my hair? Say that she loves me? Man. I’m always the last one. How good these fucking normal guys must feel, I can’t fucking imagine. I’m sure they don’t even know how lucky they are.

    So yeah to answer the question the feeling of despair, hopelessness and loneliness is just insanely hard to take. The anxiety of growing older and older with no kids in sight (and I want a family with someone I love), its insane.

    I just want someone to battle life with. That’s it, really.

43. The loneliness is eating me alive. And I’m actively trying to get into a romantic relationship, I just cannot succeed.

44. I feel strongly that most men at biological level desire being useful, wanted and needed.

45. Everything now is priced with the expectation that you’re one half of a dual income.

46. Loneliness that suddenly hits you at night. You got noone to talk to, yes you got friends but you’ve already talked to them during day time.

47. The longer you’re single, the harder it is to convince people you shouldn’t be single.

48. I’ve been single for a long time. There are quite a few things about it that I don’t like:

    1) I miss “touch.” Like… even a hug, or just someone touching my arm.

    2) I don’t like myself too much (…something I have been trying to work on before adding someone else to my life). It’s much easier to do things for someone else than for me. There’s that nagging voice saying I don’t deserve to have a clean house, healthy food, clean dishes, a nice yard, etc. Heck, I spend my weekends helping friends with their yards, because they’re my friends: they deserve things to be nice.

    And the billion other things that make being with someone amazing. The right people are so worth any disagreements or compromises. I really hope I feel good enough about myself to inflict me on someone in the future.

49. I’m 43. Never been on a date or had a relationship. To be honest, I’m well past the point where I consciously think about it. It agonized me in my 20s and early 30s, but now I’m mostly resigned to it.

    The worst part is just the general loneliness and the lack of having shared experiences. Sometimes I’ll watch a movie that begs discussion or analysis after it’s over, and there’s just…no one there to do that with. That’s when it rears its head to me the most.

50. The lonely days/nights where you wish you have someone there to hold you, to love you, to comfort you, to be by your side to support you, but you realize there’s no one there, and you stew in your loneliness, feeling sad and depressed. Some days are better then others. Somedays, it gets too hard and you break down. But, eventually, you pick yourself back up to face another day.