Hi I need some advice on how to make friends quickly. Two years ago I moved to a different country and still haven’t been able to make any friends because I have an anxiety disorder, and changed school three times because I was unable to talk to anybody. My anxiety has gotten better recently and I have joined a new school but I only have classes three days a week and not for the whole day, so I only go in for my lessons and back home. Because of not seeing people that often in class, I haven’t been able to talk with anyone that much and a lot of them have been on study leave for the last two weeks. With summer coming up I really don’t want to spend it alone in my room again like I have done for the last two years, and I only have two weeks until school finishes for the summer. There are two people in my class that I want to be friends with and hang out with during the summer, but I have no idea how to make friends and how I could ask them to hang out without me seeming desperate.
4 comments
Perhaps just “hey fellow student. Any summer plans? Wanna be friends?”
Honestly. Just be straight forward. New place, tough making friends, new country. The more people you talk to, the quicker you’ll find someone interested in making a friend.
First of all you have to bring a warm and happy vibe. People don’t want to hang out with you if you’re all tensed up. Second, make it a point to have small talk with them EVERY time you see them. So a big ‘hello’ when you are going in, ask a question or two, say ‘goodbye’ or ‘great to see you’ on the way out.
Ask them about their plans for the summer! Express the hope in doing something more interesting. Tell them it would be fun if you could hang out.
Key is to make these CONVERSATIONS fun (in attitude) so they could picture you BEING fun to hang out with in the summer.
Develop a rapport, a vibe, a playful fun attitude.
Go for it!
Oh my. Two weeks isn’t enough time for much of anything. Let’s be clear, you are desperate which is understandable. You can’t fight your internal state—the more you try not to worry, the more you worry—but you can flow with it.
Go to the two people you want to hang out with. Be upfront and forthright. “Hey guys, I’ve been bumped around from school to school and haven’t had a chance to get to know anybody. But you guys seem cool. We have things in common. You mind if I hit you up once in a while over break to hang out?”
If it works out. That’s great. If not, come back round and the community will figure something out for you. Better to have tried and failed than to have not tried at all.
You don’t make friends in X amount of time, where X is a finite number. It doesn’t work that way. You need to work on not being anxious and not being antisocial. It’s not necessarily going to be done in X amount of time. Nevertheless, you need to start executing. Go out and talk to people. Strike up conversations with them.