Does emotional attraction play a role in how quick you сum? Or or it just solely physical attraction?

27 comments

1. I’m really not sure. Though I wouldn’t mind participating in the study to find out. Any clear result should be repeatable many times.

2. I am not sure if I’m a good source because I’ve never been able to have penetrative sex because I’ve unfortunately been cursed with ED as long as I can remember.. but I have had longterm relationships and when it came or oral I have had partners that could make me cum and what I will say is I do feel the emotional attraction does add to it but the emotional attraction also amplifies the physical attraction at least for me..

3. If I have both then I’m definitely more turned on.

4. There was a period of time in my life where I was dealing with a pretty emotional personal situation. I used sex as a means or outlet of dealing with my anger and depression.

   Many of those encounters were somewhat random, no connection, I wouldn’t see them again. Some, I would see every now and again. After a while, I found that those random encounters no longer felt the same. My performance began to suffer and I lost interest in sex entirely.

   Why? Because one of those people I was seeing ended up developing feelings for me and I for her. The deeper our connection became the more intense sex became. We just had this rhythm where we just intuitively knew how to get each other off in any number of ways.

   It was.,,an intoxicating feeling

5. Just physical

6. I think so. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized I’ll cum much quicker the first time then go again and cum again and I’ll go a 3rd time. I have both with my wife but maybe it’s more about me feeling like I don’t have to hold back any longer and I’ve kinda lost my stamina

7. Both, with a slight increase to the emotional attraction side.

8. If I’m in love, I cum very fast, unfortunately. Random hookups, I last forever.

9. for me, emotional is more important

   sure, someone can be physically hot but what makes me cum is knowing if this person wants to be there for me afterwards

10. 100000% emotional attraction plays a part in my enjoyment of sex, my horniness, and yes how quick I cum. Sometimes I’ll get hard at non sexual things just bc I’m emotionally attracted to someone.

    Men’s attraction to people is far more complicated than simply finding someone pleasing to look at.

11. It’s mental arousal and physical arousal, which are both influenced by both things

12. Even as someone happily married for over a decade, emotional lovey-dovey feelings don’t really play a part in the mechanics of sex, it’s more about being on the same erotic wavelength and being comfortable with both my wife’s kinks as well as my own. Open, honest communication and willingness to experiment, that sort of thing. Certainly helps a lot if you both keep yourselves in good physical shape as well.

    As silly as it sounds I often compare it to the whole concept of being “Drift Compatible” from the Pacific Rim universe, just replace “giant mecha throwdown” with “giving each other orgasms”; sappy feelings don’t directly increase the sexual pleasure, but they do promote the kind of deep understanding and connection in a relationship outside of the bedroom that allows you to sync up well as sex partners.

13. Oh God for sure. For women i bet it plays a bigger role.

    I for example gave up on casual hook ups years ago. I didn’t like it. Now i am at a stage in my life that i can’t see any woman sexually if i am not emotionally attracted to her.

    If i am then i can do anything to her and for sure I will reach orgasm faster. It’s so good to be emotionally attracted to someone and to have sex with them. Everything changes. I would trade one sex session with a woman than i am emotionally attracted to her over 100 random hook ups.

14. Oh it’s incredibly important if you want to release quickly and repeatedly – emotional attraction is the key to finding your soulmate

15. Physical attraction is definitely on the list. but there are many things involved. I think the most important thing in enthusiasm and how much each person in focused on pleasing the other.

16. Emotional attraction and intimacy levels play a huge role in that.

17. It’s definitely more about the mental/emotional aspects. My appreciation of the physical stuff generally leads to appreciation for the other stuff. For example, I look down and see my wife’s sexy body, which turns me on by itself, and then that leads to thoughts like, “Wow, this sexy woman is lying here naked with me, exposed and vulnerable, and she wants me to take advantage of the moment and use her body for my pleasure, which brings her pleasure too. We’re as close and connected in this moment as two people can possible be. She’s so incredible. I can’t believe I’m in this situation. This is what men kill for. I love her so much.”

    All those thoughts and emotions turn me on even more than the simple visual appreciation.

18. Attraction of any sort doesn’t determine how quickly I cum. How much stimulation is being applied to my dick does. Physical attraction helps significantly with arousal. Emotional attraction helps with desire, passion and arousal.

19. So 2 years ago now I met someone who I clicked with on all levels and it was some of the best sex of my life and never even when I was married came as hard as I did with him.

20. Absolutely does.

21. Emotional attraction definitely plays a big role. When the sex is intense and intimate it feels much better and if you feel connected to each other it can drive you over the edge. For example when you’re going hard if she touches your face or grabs your hair or scratches your back while making eye contact and in that intimate moment she says “cum inside me” or “I love you”… It does things to you…

22. Emotional attachment 100 percent. Maybe different when I was younger but there are certain people I know who are physically attractive but as people they are just not for me.

23. For me, absolutely 100% yes. When I’m in love, there is something extremely special about making her feel amazing and seeing her enjoy me inside her. I like to fuck for sure, but making love is a different experience.

24. My fiancé says he gets off if he can tell I’m happy and having fun. We’re very in synch in that sense so we almost always cum at the same time and it’s amazing

25. Both at times.
    It’s funny how it works.
    Speaking from experience:
    When I first started fucking this one woman, j didn’t find her all that attractive but her pussy was and I guess still is great, and as tight as a virgin, but she wasn’t a virgin by no means!
    To start with, I could fuck her for hours including foreplay.
    She told me after our first time that she couldn’t hardly walk the next morning.

    If we were awake, we were most likely fucking!

    She was / is crazy and I knew this affair wasn’t going to last, and I honestly didn’t care. The last 50 times we fucked instead of the long fun hours, I could only last a couple of minutes.

    Our last time fucking, her pussy was still as good as always, nothing changed, well nothing except how long I lasted.

    One very attractive person I had fucked said: Damn! I thought you would never cum! My ass is so sore right now!
    I mean a very sexy body and a bubble butt! I just knew I was going to shoot before getting all the way inside! I didn’t, and it was the longest butt fuck ever!

26. It’s curious how many men are saying emotional connection and intimacy matter most yet most dating apps have a disproportionate number of men looking for meaningless hookups. Also, how do you explain why men hit women at the clubs more times than not?

27. Emotional connection plays a role in how *intense* my orgasm and ejaculation can be, as well as how satisfying the sex is in general, but any effect on how quickly I come, if any, has been too subtle for me to pick up on.

    About the only thing I can say is that partners with whom I have had a longstanding emotional connection are the least likely to get a quickshot, though I suspect that’s more due to regularly having sex as opposed to not having sex for weeks or months and then hooking up with someone new.