me (18M) and my ex (18F) had a really strange relationship and I need an advice please

I recently had a girlfriend, and I’m not sure if I truly loved her. It’s really strange what I felt for her. I was ready for a relationship and so was she, so we started dating after a long period of flirting, I would say about 3 months. We stayed together for about 6 months, but not everything went well. In fact, I loved her (I think), but my feelings were mixed. I lost count of how many times I turned down outings with her. When she came over to my place, I enjoyed it, but I was just as happy when she left. She was really amazing with me, attentive and supportive. Being in a state of depression, she supported me in my efforts and encouraged me to take my medication and all that. We had a lot of intimate moments, I won’t deny that – lots of Netflix and chill, going out to restaurants and bars. And sometimes, it was fine, and I wanted to spend every day with her. But for much longer periods, I had the desire to be alone, not to talk to her. Not because I needed time with my friends – she gave me that time – but simply because I didn’t want her presence around me, and it caused me deep discomfort. Then, I started questioning myself. I know what they say, when you have doubts about a relationship, it’s already over. But I needed to ask myself these questions. So, I thought maybe I didn’t love her? I distracted myself, weighed the pros and cons, and the relationship continued until she broke up with me, and I was overcome with deep heartbreak. I don’t understand if it’s because of the depression or if it was an imbalance of love, with her loving me more than I loved her.

If I’m coming to you to talk about this, it’s because I can’t find the answers within my own mind. After being single for a long time, I’m about to start a new relationship. Should I wait? Should I cancel it? Should I focus on healing my depression above all else? I’m lost and a little scared. I need help and an external perspective.