Kind of just venting.
So I (32m) just moved in to my apartment. Super excited to start my new job, super excited to be in a new city. I moved in to a pretty nice apartment for it’s price. My door sits opposite facing my neighbors door like maybe 6-8 feet away. I figure I’d try doing the neighborly thing and cook up some fried rice and greet them. I was already going to make some for my leasing agent anyways.
I cooked it up and although it was a little soggy I thought it tasted good. I don’t know my neighbor’s food preferences so I would have to just assume and if they didn’t like/couldn’t eat it I could always make something else another time. I bring the food out in a paper bowl covered in saran wrap and I knock on the door and wait. I hear a little shuffling but no answer.
At this point I’m feeling a little awkward. I go back into my apartment and grab a sticky note and write something along the lines of, “[Name] [Phone number] Hello I’m your new neighbor. Let me know if I’m too loud or if you need anything. Have a nice day!” I left it on the ground out of the way so they didn’t step on it leaving their apt. When I came back later the food was gone and although it didn’t go how I pictured it, I was happy the food didn’t go to waste and i made some kind of contact. But yeah, no replies whatsoever.
There was another time I was heading out of my apartment to go to on a walk and as I came out, she (as I figured out in the split second I saw her) had stepped inside and the door was closing. We both awkwardly caught a glimpse of each other and I couldn’t get a word out before her door slammed shut under its own momentum. I just kind of waved my hand at an closed door. So lame ugh.
Just tonight, I stepped outside to get the mail and as I was making some noise locking my door. Her door, which appeared closed, slammed shut behind me and locked which made me jump and stifle a curse word, “Shhhhhii..!”
I dunno, I decided since the first encounter that she probably doesn’t want any kind of interaction with me and I’m trying to respect her space. I don’t intend on reaching out anymore unless she does first. But again, our doors face each other and sooner or later we’ll encounter each other again. I dont know her story, maybe she’s awkward or introverted or maybe shes been abused and doesnt trust anyone. I can emphasize with that, and we don’t have to be friends or anything. But it’s going to be super awkward everytime we bump into each other and at least my least still has close to 11 months on it. I just wish she would break the tension and I could not feel like a creep just for entering/exiting my apartment.
Would it be pushing it if I left another sticky note on her door? Like, “I respect your space and we don’t have to be friends, but I just want to say that I hope I’m not intimidating you and I just feel really awkward using my own front door. So yeah, I come in peace! ✌️”
Or maybe I’m just overanalyizing/obsessing over this and should just leave it alone.
6 comments
Don’t most people actively avoid their neighbours?
Don’t put another note. She probably is just shy.
Why do you care so much if she acknowledges you, out of curiosity? Fried rice is a weird thing to leave someone you don’t know. It is customary in today’s society-if you want to leave something- that it is a packaged product. You can’t eat at everybody’s house and if she has no repoir with you, it’s not uncommon to feel uncomfortable to eat food a stranger made. I have baked my neighbors pies and baklava when I moved next door to introduce myself, but they were in their 60’s-90’s. From a different time and that wasn’t uncommon then. If someone you don’t know is gen x or younger, you typically leave packaged food like candy or snacks. That’s just how it goes if they have no familiarity with you. Leaving another note explaining yourself would be weird, just don’t mention the food next time and initiate a brief, friendly introduction next time you see her since you are the one who wants to break the ice.
Even offering food for me is too much. I’d just move in if I ever meet my neighbor I’d say hi and that’s it. No effort to create conversation unless they offered to start one.
Just leave her alone. Some people just don’t like to be bothered. Ignore her when you see her and don’t feel bad or awkward about it.
Why are you trying to force a neighborly relationship? She clearly doesn’t want anything to do with you. You’d start to be a creep if you leave notes and food.
She’s just being cautious bc you’re a stranger. And you assume that she’s been abused? Wtf dude.
I also don’t get too friendly with my male neighbors bc we don’t know y’all’s true intentions. It’s nothing personal so plz leave her alone.
“It didn’t go how I pictured” you had this entire scenario played out how she would accept your food and you’d start a friendly relationship with her 🚩🚩🚩🚩