Why do I lose interest so fast?

6 comments

1. I think that some of your needs are not being met. Consciously, you might think that he’s a great guy who has a good personality and is caring. However, your subconscious mind may not be particularly enthralled with what he can provide for you.

   We’re nothing but mammals, after all. A good personality happens to be low on the list of needs for the survival of an individual and a species. Maybe he lacks traits that you have been taught to feel ashamed for considering.

2. Without getting too deep into a psych analysis, something that’s pretty common is that biologically, our brains and bodies are often making decisions for us that we are unaware of and aren’t always in our best interest. For women, your brains and bodies are basically trying to get you pregnant asap. Then, for men, it’s trying to get them into relationships that won’t last more than a night, or a week, or a month, short as possible with as many sexual encounters as possible. Because those are the fastest paths to biological procreation, human biology and psychology wants babies, even if we don’t know it and don’t want that consciously.

   It takes some time, but you have to learn to second guess yourself, and appreciate the qualities that you actively want in a partner. For example, get worried when someone does hold your attention, then after a while you’ll learn rhetoric those are often red flags, at least for the purposes of having an actual relationship. No one’s ever going to be perfect or hold your attention perfectly or forever, especially when you’re young. When you’re young it’s always the shiniest new thing, as a tendency for some people.

   All that said maybe it’s a sign you are legitimately wanting something else, which isn’t necessarily bad. A lot of times women are testing their partners and sometimes don’t even realize it, which is usually not a good idea because it’s often based on subconscious biases. It sounds like you wanted him to get angry and jealous about that incident, and when he didn’t, it made you feel unwanted, unattracted and unattractive. It’s really hard to explain in the psychoanalysis reasons, but a lot of times women don’t realize they want conflict and for “men to act like men” – which is sometimes how women get into abusive patterns and relationships.

   That dynamic tends to be unfair ethically if it were to be conscious, but since it’s subconscious, it’s something you would have to learn to control and realize yourself. It’s also potentially a sign that you have some underlying issues that could be motivating that, like insecurities. Wanting to be wanted can be healthy, but if it’s like the core validation for yourself as a person and you’re subconsciously motivated to start conflicts and have babies, you would probably be better off becoming aware of your own red flags and working on them.

3. Do you think it’s because he got jealous, or let it go too easily?

4. Think because he’s too into you? Sometimes we devalue someone that is too flexible and easy. Maybe if he pulled back some you would pop back?

5. If you’re bored easily in other areas of life, your dopamine levels are fucked up and you’re looking for the next guy to give you a bigger hit. Either poly life is for you or you do some serious dopamine detoxing

6. Looks like you dont know how to be single, you dont know who you are, your likes and dislikes. In a straightforward way seems like you are the problem in the relationship and need to work on it to attract and keep a healthy relationship. Remember relationship with yourself is most important. Or else you will go through same story over and over again with similar endings. Good luck!