My (28F) bf (28m) has been sending emotional emails to his ex secretly for over a year. Is there a way to move past this?

Hi all,

My bf (28M) and I (28F) have been dating for a year and half. We live together and have looked at rings, talked about the future, etc.

I met him about 6 months after he and his ex fiancé (31F) called off their engagement. From the beginning of our relationship, he told me that he was over her, but multiple times had told me that she kept reaching out wanting to talk to him. I asked him if he answered and he said no. About six months into our relationship, he admitted that he had talked to her but again, said that she was the one reaching out. I respectfully asked if he was over her and he said yes, and that he loves me. I also asked if he could block her because I was not comfortable with them talking and he said he would. They had an awful, toxic relationship according to him and his family, and he said he doesn’t think they would have lasted if they did actually get married.

Fast forward to now, she hasn’t really come up but he did mention that she reached out again. At that point, I messaged her and asked for her to stop contacting him because she is now engaged again to someone else and everyone needs to move on with their lives. Turns out, it was my bf who was contacting her and not the other way around. She blocked his number and he has been sending her emails pouring out his heart to her or trying to get in contact with her for the last year. The most recent one was last week and I am absolutely devastated.

The three emails she sent me was not him begging to get back together, but seemed like it in so many ways. He said things like “you were the best friend I’ve ever had,” “I miss you,” “I’m glad you are happy, but wish things were different”, “please contact me it’s been over a year since we have talked and it makes me sad,” ect.

I am absolutely heartbroken by reading these and don’t know if there is a way to bounce back or trust him again. My bf is one who usually will make excuses for things, but when confronted with this he actually took responsibility for his mistakes and apologized profusely. He said that he has a problem with rejection and doesn’t know how to let go, but that he is over her and loves me a lot. He said he did this to the ex fiancé when they were still together and used to message his ex girlfriend before the same stuff and recognizes he has a problem with rejection. He said that he is going to get help and contacted a therapist to get back in therapy.

Does anyone think it’s possible to bounce back from this? I told him I was leaving him because of this and I’m worried that he is apologizing and saying he will get help so I don’t leave. I’m at a loss- I’m devastated about those emails and also devastated at the thought of us breaking up. If anyone has been through a similar situation of emotional cheating please help!

TL; DR: My (28f) bf (28m) has been sending emotional emails to his ex for over a year trying to talk to her and lied about it. He apologized and said he would get help for his rejection issues. I don’t know if I should stay or if this is something we can recover from.