Here in Ireland the average cost of a First Communion is just under €1,000, with some costing €2-3,000 or more. It’s common for parents who never go to mass to have their kids do a communion so they don’t feel left out. Guests are expected to give significant cash gifts. The kids are usually 8 or so and still in early primary school. Part of the cost, especially for girls, are extravagant communion dresses that are basically tiny wedding dresses.
The only other coming of age event we see is the Debs, which is a formal dance held in the last year at most secondary schools, kind of like an American Prom.
There’s often a bit of an extra party for someone’s 18th birthday, but usually it’s not anything out of hand.
What do they celebrate in your country, what age does it happen, and how big a deal do you make of it?
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We don’t celebrate it in South Wales. There’s nothing like that that I’ve ever seen or heard of, or at least not when I was growing up (I’m 37 now).
We have the first communion in the first year of primary school (age 5-6) and the confirmation in the last year (age 11-12).
The children get a big party, the family might go to a restaurant, but the cost is nothing extraordinary. In my experience, the close family gives the same amount of gifts as for a birthday or Saint-Nicholas, but more distant family might give some money as well. The clothes are just normal fancy clothes, they’re not particularly expensive.
Confirmation probably used to be the big thing, usually done the year you turn 15. It’s dwindled over the years though. In the ’70s about 80% of 15-year-olds did it, in the ’90s it had dropped to 50%, now it’s closer to 20%. Since a long time, people commonly just do it for gifts.
Other than that I guess graduation from secondary school may qualify. It’s a whole series of events associated with it: from a formal dance, to a usually very rowdy procession through the streets, to a large reception at home.
Some treat their first purchase at the state-owned liquor store kind of ceremonial when you turn 20, it’s commonly considered the last notable age restriction. Being able to do so isn’t celebrated with a particular party (granted, it coincides with your birthday and you did just buy booze).
The communions thing in Ireland has been way, way over the top for a long time. I’ve seen people hiring limos and everything!
In France it was rather church focused and quite simple. The outfits looked more like a monks habit. The Irish version is completely about the party, the outfit and the gifts from what I could see. My cousin’s kid got annoyed with me because I ONLY gave her €50.
It’s also a bit of a weird one as because the majority of Irish public primary schools are nominally run by the Catholic Church the whole thing occurs within a context of a school event, so if you’re not Catholic (I’m not) it a bit of a weird year if the school puts a lot of time into it, as mine did.
Irish Debs / Grads balls at end of school are very much a parallel of American proms and formals – same origin and they’re not new – long history. It’s just louder and more bling bling these days. How over the top it gets varies quite a bit. It can be a simple dinner and party in tuxedos and ball gowns or it can be a huge deal – depends on who’s organising it and how far they take it.
Only thing I can think of is getting a driving license, when someone turns 18, either paid for by the parents of paid for by working a minimum wage job.
The First Communion is celebrated more a less like an average birthday in my experience. Perhaps the gifts are a bit less valuable. I have no clue what the protestants do.
Other than that there aren’t really any special coming of age ceremonies as far as I know.
First Communion is rather small thing at a rather young age. Firmung (Confirmation) is much bigger. Our neighbours had a horse drawn cart fetching their eldest and bringing him to church. But that was the exception. Generally you get a nice family lunch, quite a bit of money and an (for that age) expensive watch.
The true coming of age celebration happens around end of school if you attend up to “Matura” which are the final exams for higher schools. You get a nice party, most go on a one or two week partying tour abroad (with special clubs in Greece, Croatia … that cater to them – effectivly cheap alcohol, djs condoms and no questions asked).
We also have the Confirmation and 21st parties, and, along with the debs, the night of the end of the Leaving Certificate and the results night are big too. Some places have organised events for those, to give an alternative to the kids going into the towns.
Jugendweihe at age 14, usually held in April/May.
It’s usually a nice ceremony in the late morning with some classical music, some wise words and a present for every participant, usually a book about the future and growing up.
Mine was in a 12th century cistercian monastery and attended by all pupils from my class. Families were there, of course and [we wore formal suits and dresses like this](https://www.jugendweihegemeinschaft.de/webseite/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/10_2000-1024×731.jpg). Everyone received presents from the family members, often amounting up to several thousand Euros.
In the evening we all gathered and got drunk o 2-3 beers or Apfelkorn.
Another ceremony is usually the final prom when you finish school. I had two of them, in 10th year and 13th year. There was a formal reception were we received our school certificates and some days later we had the prom in a hotel or restaurant.
A lot of planning went into the “Abi-Ball” after year 13 and people usually [dress up like this](https://www.szlz.de/cms_media/module_img/26050/13025490_1_org_lz-adoabiball3.jpg)
Mine was on a Friday and I got drunk with friends in the evening, after the parents left. I got somehow home on Saturday morning, sobered up somehow and packed my bags and left for my army duty on Monday morning. Interesting times.
No «coming of age» ceremonies. I think some people who are more culturally Christians (specially believing Christians) do First Communions, but no idea how that works. They also have Confirmations, but this is only for real real believers.
PS. Personal story. I’m over 50. We are 4 siblings, I’m the youngest. We were all born under a Catholic dictatorship. Two older ones had to do First Communion due to the state of things. When it was the turn of my sister the Dictator had already died. My parents asked my sister if she wanted to do it or not. And if not, they would put into a bank account the equivalent of the money they had spent on the older ones First Communions. She went for the second options. Me, who might have been 6 at the time, immediately joined her. Since then there’s been no First Communion on the family and almost no Baptism.
Hmm. The most notable one would be the 18th Birthday ‘majorat’, cause you become a major/no longer a minor. Typically nice gifts and HEAVY drinking. Might or might not include drugs. None of the ones I’ve been to included drugs, but, then, again, I was invited to like only 5 or 6 of them. Generally people just get together and party, usually deep into the night or so. Also, many take place at a restaurant, so while heavy drinking is no problem, even for under 18s, drugs are not often allowed by the establishment. Also, no sex. If the hosts organize it at their homes or rented villa… well.. as long as the house is not set on fire everything goes.
The next ones are the two major high-school parties. The first one, the “Ducklings Party’ (Balul Bobocilor) is probably the minor one. Since both teachers and kids participate, it’s not common to see kids drinking (not openly I mean). mostly just dancing and girls wearing pretty dresses. Happens in 9th grade/first year of high-school. Usually ages 14-16. The second one is the ‘Banquet’ or the end of high-school party. Whatever I’ve said for the 18th birthday party also goes here. Except teachers might have to watch as some kids do drugs. Personally, I’ve skipped that one. Strangely, it actually takes place before the end of the school year and before the final exam. So you can technically still be set back a year and participate in a second one. Although, if you are bad enough to be set back in 12th grade, it’s highly likely the teachers just consider you a lost cause and promote you out of pity. Most of the schools I know have this party. The level of extravaganza varies depending on the school.
Other stuff would be ‘end of cycle’ ceremonies, done after graduating each education cycle: primary, secondary, high-school, university. Unlike the first things, those one are formal, and, as such, don’t really have a lot of money invested into them. Generally just some pictures taken in robes and hats and a diploma presented. And that would be all the fuss. Done over in like 2-3 hours
Nothing really in Slovakia. Christians do have their first communion, but it is not really celebrated in such a way. I live in an atheist household, so I cannot really speak much on Christian traditions, but only things celebrated here are birth (and christening) at age 0 and then tertiary education last year at age 18-19, when there is the “ribbonning”, where you get a ribbon saying you are the senior of the school, and then celebration of the exam itself. But these are not personal events. At 18 people tend to have a party, but because >50 % drink since 14-17 yrs old, it´s not really that important.Also there is the “immatriculation into the order of studentship” at age 6 and again at 15, which is, however, not a personal event again (there is the whole school with you). And no real presents, maybe a diploma, photo, ribbon or something like that.
Confirmation is probably the one, which doesn’t mean literally anything except you are allowed to get engaged.
And 18th birthday ofc which is celebrated like literally anything in Finland, getting drunk to the point you’re willing to fight god or become him.
So, a lot of Germans aren’t even religious, but those who are might celebrate one or more of the following:
Catholic families have **Erstkommunion** (first communion) for children usually aged 9 when they are in their 3rd year of primary school. Children can go from age seven or later, for example when parents want siblings to have their first communion together.
It’s organised by the church and the children have lessons (usually held by parents) in the school year leading up to the ceremony. They learn about the bible, jesus, christian values, the holidays and their meanings etc. The children also go to their first confession and are expected to learn the Vater Unser (Our Father) and Glaubensbekenntnis (confession of faith) by heart if they do not know it already.
The ceremony is on the Sunday after Easter (White Sunday) or on one of the following Sundays. Clothes aren’t a main focus as in most churches the kids wear identical white robes like [this](http://www.amberg-st-georg.de/images/aktuelles/2012/erstkommunion/erstkommunion_2012a.jpg). I think it’s getting more common to spend money on dresses and suits though. Afterwards, the family hosts their guests either at home or by going to a restaurant for lunch/dinner. I don’t know about the exact costs, but I’d say between 500€ and 1500€ is realistic. Significant cash gifts are the norm, but also religious gifts like a custom bible or hymn book.
The *real* catholic coming of age celebration is the **Firmung** (Confirmation). It’s for teenagers usually aged 14-17 and as the name says, it’s a confirmation of faith. It is understood as the completion of one’s christening and is held every other year.
While first communions are celebrated once the kids have reached the age of “Vernunft” (reason, rationality) so they can understand that the consecrated wafer they are eating is supposed to be the Body of Christ, the confirmation marks the reaching of adulthood in church. The preparation varies greatly from parish to parish, some have regular lesson and compulsory church visits, others organise information evenings and social projects (visiting a monastery, going to Rome, karate weekend, crafting for the homeless etc). This takes about 6-9 months.
The actual ceremony is on a Saturday or Sunday and the teenagers choose their own clothes. It shouldn’t be something too extravagant though, so modest dresses or a nice jeans and shirt are completely sufficient. Some might wear traditional clothes like [this group from Munich](https://www.erzbistum-muenchen.de/cms-media/media-36130301.jpg). Afterwards, like after the first communion, families celebrate in private and give gifts to the kids, usually money. The whole thing is not as big of a deal as the first communion, but it’s still an effort for the families.
If you are not katholisch (catholic) but instead evangelisch (protestant), you will likely celebrate your **Konfirmation**. It’s very similar to a Firmung, down to the confusingly similar names (that somehow have the same English translation), just a different denomination. The participants are also around 14 years old and they also go to preparation lessons, but for a whole year. The lessons are held by the priest/pastor (called Pfarrer/in) and are usually every 14 days. Unlike in Catholicism, where Erstkommunion and Firmung are holy sacraments, protestant churches only recognise the christening as a sacrament. The teenagers also get money and it’s kind of a big deal.
If you don’t celebrate those religious events, you still have the chance to go to **Abiball**. *Ball* means “dance” and *Abi* stands for *Abitur* which is the final secondary-school certificate in Germany and qualifies you to study at a university, kind of like A-levels in the UK or a high school diploma in the US. You need to go to a *Gymnasium* (highest secondary level school type) to be able to sit your Abitur.
Once the exams are over, students (aged ~18) organise a big party called Abiball. Teachers and family are invited, there’s food and beverages and often a program like thanking teachers, photoshoots, musical entertainment, dancing (many students take dance classes for their Abiball). Students wear pretty dresses and suits like [this](https://www.fotostudiolange.de/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/46-Gruppenfoto-Abiball-Hessen.jpg). It is a big deal because it marks the end of your schooldays and may also be the last time in a while that you see some of your classmates. You don’t usually get presents though, or if you do, they’re for graduating and aren’t related to the Abiball.
Someone already wrote about **Jugendweihe** (or Jugendfeier). It’s the atheistic version of Firmung and Konfirmation and was very popular in the GDR. Just like its religious counterparts it marks the passage from childhood to adulthood and is celebrated at 14 years old.
When Germany was still separated, Jugendweihen had a political value in the GDR and were virtually obligatory (students who refused faced disadvantages at school and in their further education). The participating students had lessons for a year where they were educated according to the SED’s ideology (state party of the GDR) and in the festive ceremony they pledged their allegiance to the socialist state and the GDR ideology.
Today there is no political component and Jugendweihen are also held in former West Germany, but they are by far not as widespread as in the former GDR. You can [read more about it on Wikipedia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jugendweihe) as I have heard about it for the first time today and can’t really give you much information about its cultural impact nowadays.
Spain also used to have First Communion and Confirmation, but as the population has become less religious in the past few years, they have become less and less widespread.
I haven’t been to a Communion in ages, but when I was a kid it was celebrated as kind of a lower-key version of a wedding. Confirmations were even more low-key, especially as the teenager normally wanted to go party with friends and get plastered as celebration.
Culturally, the Catholic coming-of-age rites haven’t really been replaced by any equivalents. In guess one might consider graduation (especially high school) to be kind of a coming of age ceremony, although it’s celebrated in a much different way.
Some people make a bigger deal out of their 18th birthday than a normal birthday, but it’s not a cultural norm.