What are your everyday conspiracy theories?

39 comments

1. Most modern barbers are money laundering fronts.

2. Hot chocolate powder is purposefully weak so you use half the tub in one go and need to buy more. It always says to use like 34 heaped tablespoons per serving, I’m sure it’s possible to make cocao powder stronger and more concentrated so you only need one.

3. I’ve always thought this!

   Also… the volume on the tv adverts is louder than the actual show. I’ve always thought this was so that you can at least still hear them when you get up to get a drink/use the bathroom or whatever or so that they are harder to ignore in general.

4. You may enjoy r/lowstakesconspiracies, I do.

5. There is absolutely no reason for there to be homeless people in the streets. They are left there on purpose by our overlords as a reminder for us to stay in our lane, in a similar way to the heads on pikes that used to adorn the Tower of London.

6. When it comes to living with your parents as an adult, I’m convinced landlords are the ones keeping this stigma alive for their own benefit, obviously.

7. Not only are all my ‘smart’ devices in communication with each other, the matrix has learned who I regularly spend time with and the devices belonging to *those* people are in contact with mine.

8. Whys that stranger looking at me like that, none of this seems real, is that an actor?

9. That all the Costa drive through at motorway services have been installed to serve as military check points at a later date, the design and layout is the same as in military zones and border controls, and if the country went into a lock down it would be super easy to shut down the road networks.

   I made this comment as a joke when traveling with a group of people, it’s spread a bit, but once you see it, it hard not to be suspicious. ; )

10. The police never get out of their cars anymore because there is no money in their budget for trousers.

11. Some Radio stations do sync, it’s not a conspiracy. Most local stations are owned by the same company and as such use the same adverts, same news, often the same playlist.

12. “9/10 dentists recommend…”

    The products are actually bad for you, that’s why they recommend them, to keep you having to go back to them

13. The Nigerian princes do want to give me their money, but the man wants to keep me down so he tells me it’s a scam ….

14. Recently logged back onto my Ancestry account out of curiosity, and they’re bombarding me with requests to buy their DNA kits.

    Heard before it’s a way of the government getting your DNA on file and I’m starting to believe it could be true

15. BBC intentionally downplayed good weather forecasts during lockdown

16. Facebook/Amazon etc are listening. Try talking about something mad like buying a new shed or adopting a dog with your other half. Don’t search online or anything and I guarantee google and Facebook will sponsor link you.

17. Wet wipes manufacturers make the first few and last few impossible to get out individually, so you ‘waste’ 3-4 every pack.

    It must add 5% to 8% on their sales every year, very subtle but very clever.

18. Princess Diana was murdered by the government.

    I don’t care if she was or wasn’t and don’t give a fig for royals as a whole. I just think it’s more likely than not.

19. I’m convinced my work organises everything in the worst possible way just to annoy specifically me, since I work harder when I’m pissed off.

20. Eco protest groups like Just Stop Oil Are funded by oil companies to create tension and discord. I’m sure most people believe in their message but get turned away by the way the go about spreading it

21. Supermarkets removing “best before” dates wasn’t to eliminate food waste on behalf of the consumer, it was mainly to sell you nearly rotten food (thanks br£xit).

22. We live in a simulation and we find proof of this all the time. However, as soon as we discover the proof, those running the simulation press pause, rewind until just before we find the proof and remove whatever it is from the simulation.

    They then press play and we continue as if nothing had ever happened.

    That and the company that make teeth fillings is the same company that makes cola cubes.

23. That the West is absolutely broke, only being supported by Central Bank lending and when this stops or blows up, that living standards will half overnight. They all know, and are just kicking the can hoping for the best.

24. Carpet cleaners add something to the waste water to make it look really dirty, thus affirming your need to buy carpet cleaners

25. That the US sacrificed the World Trade to convince people it was OK to invade Iraq.

26. Every operating system update slows your device down to push you closer to buying a new one

27. That I’m in my own “Trueman Show”

28. Shrimps is bugs

29. There is an Illuminati cabal in charge of the apportioning of hot dog rolls, burger buns, hotdogs and burgers.

    Buns and rolls? Always six.

    Burgers, hotdogs? Fours and eights.

    Possibly the same cabal is in charge of making sure that no loaf ever properly fits in a toastie maker.

    All my conspiracy theories are around food.

30. McDonald’s had been desperate to use Return of The Mack by Mark Morrison in an advert for years but they were never going to close or temporarily stop selling the big Mac to justify using it. The only logical conclusion is McDonald’s engineered the entire COVID19 pandemic for the sake of using that song when they reopened.

31. Beer and alcohol companies only push their non alcoholic versions to get around advertising bans. They don’t make enough money from them to warrant the high marketing budgets and its the reason the branding is 99% identical. To be clear I have zero facts/stats to back this up!

32. Skin fade haircuts were popularised by barbers because they are high maintenance and require you to go back to the barber very often.

33. The shorts never closed on GME

34. Women’s clothes don’t have pockets so the fashion industry can sell them bags

35. There’s something about how much we’ve invested in pandas, who are hell-bent on their own destruction, that I’m very suspicious of

36. Phone repair shops are fronts for the Indian mafia

37. I joke with my wife that companies have to pay money to Slimming World so that their food can be considered low syn or syn free.

    Muller Lights used to be free, then they weren’t, I joked that Muller obviously didn’t pay up.

38. Jacobs created a much better flavour for mini cheddars but didn’t have the balls to replace the original so they’ve used the most similar cheese to release it, Red Leicester

39. Competitions on the radio where you text to win money are not real. They get your texting fee, but there’s no prize, and the ‘winners’ that they speak to are just employees of the network.