So, I’ve recently decided to pursue a PhD right after I finish my masters this year, hopefully finishing everything before I’m 30. But when I told this to my friend, she started groaning and said “Well now almost no guy will want you.”
That’s sounds a little dramatic to me, but I’m curious what the internet thinks. I’ve run into a little bit of dating trouble since pursuing my masters, and have found some guys to be intimidated, though I dont understand why. I really dont care if I date a guy with more or fewer degrees than me, so long as we have similar levels of intelligence. Some of the smartest people I know only have a high school diploma, so I really dont care about comparing sheets of paper.
Is this really an issue for guys?
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.
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(Edit: lol I’m starting to realize that if a guy truly was intimidated or put off by this, it’s very unlikely he’d comment and admit that. But thank you guys for the positivity though! It’s very nice to hear, I hope other women reading them will be encouraged as well 🙂
39 comments
No, it doesn’t matter. Personality and compatibility does matter.
do not be scared to do what u want to do cuz of a guy. if u meet someone who is turned off by ur higher degree then hes not the one!! you’ll find someone regardless <33
I would definitely date a woman with a higher academic degree. If anything, it would be a small plus-factor. Your friend sounds like she was being very dramatic.
As a guy I’d be impressed and proud. Don’t get discouraged, the right one won’t mind 🙂
Yes. I’ve dated doctors, and others with phd degrees. Great all of them. Me? Hardly educated.
Yeah, that doesnt matter to me. Almost any woman would have a higher degree than me, I have a GED lmao
I would and have. I have a masters degree. One of my exes has her phD in behavioral psychology. My ex wife got her masters degree before I finished mine. I dated grad students in fourth/senior year of university.
Don’t concern yourself with the LOSERS who would be intimidated by this. Even if you both had the same level of education, you’re going to have your own areas of expertise. It’s fucking idiotic
Not for me, but unlikely for me. Even when I was less educated, the woman having more education was a good thing, not a detriment.
My s/o has a physiology degree, I am a high-school drop out, do with that information as you may
My boyfriend doesn’t have any degrees and I’m in the process of getting my Masters. He’s supported me the whole way! I think your friend is a little jealous or something. That’s weird of her to put you down like that.
As long as she’s hot I don’t care
Intelligence is extremely attractive. Success is attractive.
Absolutely I would
If she’d date *me*, yeah…why the hell not? It isn’t even close to being a dealbreaker, not even remotely an issue. Not a microscopic glimpse over the horizon of that being a problem. Not…you get the point.
But here’s the thing: A lot of guys aren’t intimidated by it, they are likely worried…that *you* might not like them due to any difference in education or income that may result in your pursuit. Or even that you may find someone you’d later perceive to be better-suited.
Edit: And when it comes to guys and what guys may think, try not to rely on your (girl) friends’ thoughts. Because they’re hardly ever correct. Ask some dudes, here or elsewhere. Get a general idea.
I’ve dated two women with higher degrees, honestly it doesn’t matter. A higher degree doesn’t equal smarter or higher earning.
I’m wildly attracted to intelligence.
My friend is getting her masters atm and is dating a guy who dropped out of university. they seem to be doing fine!
Not an issue. How do you feel about being the main breadwinner of the household?
Honestly it’s usually the other way around guys care less, but some women see it as dating down and won’t do that
Id definitely consider dating a women with a higher academic degree then me, but I would approach a relationship like that cautiously. Ive had experiences where women often make me feel belittled in my own achievements because of theirs. I dont know if this is my own innate built-in sexism or theirs. All I know is I often get the feeling they dont actually value my own education or what I do for a living because they have a PhD and are making millions.
My recommendation to you is to make the guy youre with know you value him. Be enthusiastic when he talks about his work or education regardless of whether its “beneath” you. If he gets the impression you really dont care about him having a lower education or lower job than you, or that you even admire his work and the effort he puts into it, I dont see your higher education being a problem for most men.
Bottom line do what’s right for you and own it, but also yes totally- I’m dating a woman atm who has higher education and salary and it hardly comes up. Red flag if someone treats you differently because of anything like that.
Yeah I’d date someone with PhD as i have a master’s. To me that doesn’t bother me. Shows they are dedicated to a subject field and great to see the passion.
Would I date a woman with a higher level of education than me?
Of course. I do not care.
If a guy wouldnt date you because you have a PHD or masters, he sounds really insecure.
It’s not really a factor.
That depends…. Intelligence and drive are attractive, but having a shit ton of debt isn’t.
Yes as long as she isn’t the type to be pompous about having book knowledge. Most college graduates end up with a comically misguided belief that the piece of paper make them superior. Forgetting all about the “Wills” from Good Will Hunting. Which in my experience are more common than you think. They just realize that like Napoleon famously said the “great men are meteors designed to burn so the earth may be lighted”. Meaning the success of great people often comes with their own demise inorder to achieve it. In doing so making the world a better place.
Yeah I would and currently am and have done it more than once. It’s a non-issue.
Absolutely. Smart woman are sexy af
There is nobody higher than me /h
Abso-fucking-lutely.
Have an MBA and a MA, fiancé is an MD and I have zero problems. She’s an Angel and not the stereotypical arrogant doctor tho so that changes the dynamics.
Yes i would date a woman
Well I have bad luck with women so I’m not worried admitting something like this, yeah, I’m guy who would feel strange if the woman is or have much level in study or in job than me, and it doesn’t make me dramatic or something like that, obviously I’m not saying that I look for women without any level in study or job, is just that it would feel strange, like you are a shit next to her, and I have seen women whom are just attracted to men with better jobs than hers, for example some day I asked to a woman if she would date with someone in the same situation like her (studying and trying to win a University carreer) and she told me “no way, never” and I was like “why??”, The same happens in other examples like women arguing if the men has self insecurities, it makes us all but no “real men” but they can have all the insecurities and always there will be a man who will accept her (them) with those insecurities, well, the same is with job, study, etc…
Obviously you’ve got your answer by now. But I’m wondering…What’s her reasoning for her opinion?
Congratulations on starting your Phd. It is amazing. Which field if you don’t mind me asking? As a guy I’d love to have a partner that pursed their dreams. I don’t get why only artists and athletes are praised for following their passion and dreams. The same should be extended to research community. If you can’t find a guy, ping me (I have a Phd btw!).
already understand sample selection, your PhD is gonna be good!
>But when I told this to my friend, she started groaning and said “Well now almost no guy will want you.”
Your friend doesn’t know men if she truly believes this.
>I’ve run into a little bit of dating trouble since pursuing my masters, and have found some guys to be intimidated, though I dont understand why.
They aren’t intimidated by you. There are other reasons why they don’t want a relationship with you.
>I really dont care if I date a guy with more or fewer degrees than me, so long as we have similar levels of intelligence.
Same levels of intelligence? How does one determine this? Are you sure you aren’t quickly deeming guys as less intelligent than you and treating them accordingly? This could be your problem.
>Is this really an issue for guys? . . .
The only time it is an issue is if she treats him like he’s inferior to her because of her degree. Her being someone who defines herself by her degree(s) or job title doesn’t help either.
Yes. I would date a girl with higher degree or higher income or higher height or higher body strength or a combination. Because ultimately attraction and kind heart determines the relationship.
Trouble is, such women will not find guys attractive. There is a reason why statistically women marry richer, and more resourceful, taller and stronger guys.
How many scientists marry construction workers or police offers?
I personally have no problem with it at all. As long as we are both able to fulfill each other’s needs and be happy I don’t have a problem with it. Before my divorce I was going to pay for my wife’s school. I was fully intending on paying all until she got her PHD and by the time she got that, I’d probably be in my masters program just cause I’m in the military. I don’t care about it because we should be able to encourage each other to succeed in our desired fields. I might not understand exactly what you do… Cause you’d be way smarter than me, but as long as you weren’t condescending or anything like that then there’s no problem at all. I personally would love to ask you about your studies to learn about something you’re passionate about. Your friend is wrong in that regard and the guys who would be intimidated by that wouldn’t make the best partners anyways. I wish you the best of luck in your PHD program and I hope that you can find a guy who won’t run/be intimidated by your PHD, but embrace it and see how awesome and amazing that is!
If anything I feel like usually they opposite happens regardless of gender. Usually the person with a higher degree might start to feel like they want someone with similar “stature”
I’m a technician in a hospital and some of these doctors ooooweeee I’m not saying I would, but I would