What was the moment you realized you had to leave a toxic long term friendship?

17 comments

1. I realized it was the constant disrespect for my boundaries. I told them if they continue to do so, they will be blocked

2. When she got back with her husband after he raped a mentally I’ll young woman. She tried making excuses for him. I blocked her

3. Felt like they just wanted to blame all their problems on everyone else instead of taking any accountability for their behavior. Decided they weren’t the type of person who fit where I was at in terms of growth, stability, etc. or what I am working towards for my future.

4. When her boyfriend blocked me on social media because they thought I would share his deepest darkest secret…that *she* chose to share with me. She wouldn’t shut up about this “thing” that she didn’t know whether or not she should share with me. I told her finally to either tell me or stop talking about it completely, its annoying af. She decided to tell me and then later regretted it thinking I’d jeopardize his career. Like, boundaries people… I realized then that I out grew her.

5. When her boyfriend cussed me out and said things that was between me and her. She didnt even defend me. This all started over a joke i made to her which she laughed at and joked back too.

   I will always tell her that her bf killed our friendship but i learned it was really her. If she had an issue with me she never told me and basically shit talked about me to others and i never got an apology or anything and her excuse for not defending me 3 years later was “we was late to a movie”

   Even before then i realized how much of a shit talker she was, she talked crap about everyone but was happy dappy in their face. 8 years down the drain and i still cant manage to find a friend to last even a few months…

6. When I started to roll my eyes and get agitated every time she texted me

7. She made a snarky comment about my boyfriend only being with me because I got pregnant. Not only is that beyond untrue, she had no reason to think/say anything like that and I just feel like that’s not a supportive thing to say to a new mother

8. She temporarily dumped me (along with all of her other friends) for the 461st time because she met a new man for the 461st time. I’m not talking someone giving their new partner priority too, but every time she started dating someone, she ghosted everyone she knew and didn’t exchange a single word with either of us until she eventually got dumped and needed consolation. I had been annoyed and upset at it for a long time, but I finally realised that she wasn’t just clingy and bad at controlling her emotions, but literally only viewed me as a placeholder for a man, so I decided to yeet her.

9. When they were giving me more anxiety than they were happiness, love and support. When you feel like you have to walk on eggshells to keep a friendship and you can no longer talk to that person about it because you don’t feel heard, it’s time to cut ties.

10. when she no longer talked to me willingly

11. i just left one today and it’s still slightly sore. i really cared about the girl, like you would any friend. but sometimes you realise that you’re not quite the right fit for one another, and maybe you’d be better off not in each other’s lives. sucks, but c’est la vie.

12. She’d always been prone to lying or exaggeration to make her life seem more interesting, but it started getting bigger and worse.

    Last straw was when she told me (knowing full well I’m a victim of CSA) that she found CP on her partners dad’s computer, and then refused to report it, saying it wasn’t that big a deal. So either she’s cool with CP, or she’s cool with lying about CP. Either way, I’m done.

    She’d been my closest friend for 15 years.

13. We started the friendship in our early twenties and by our early thirties they were still acting like we were 22 and I just didn’t want to be going out every night getting drunk, listening to the SAME drama, and I just felt stuck. Blocked them.

14. When our yearly meetup became a huge dreaded chore, but that was also after years of driving her around for free (she was vision impaired) only to have her ask for reimbursement for a $1 frozen coke she’d got for me.

15. I found myself always minimizing myself around her, not wearing make up, not dressing nice or looking too good or attracting male attention because that would make her feel insecure and she’d then make some off handed remark about me being too skinny or some shit. I hated that, I could never share any good news with her and I was growing tired of assuaging her insecurities so I just slowly responding to her texts/calls and eventually things ended. I am not a big fan of the “people deserve to know what they did wrong” non sense, it just gives them an excuse to keep you tied to them.

16. I ditched a twenty year long friendship after my alleged best friend asked me something about an important part of my life and did it in such a way that it was clear she had not been paying attention to what I had already told her about that part of my life. I listened when she talked and could name all seven of her siblings, and knew details about them because she had told me these things, and I listened. I listened to everything she said, and remembered it because that’s what I do. I thought she did the same with me. I kissed her off when I realized I was only an accessory to her as she never really listened to me.
    I ended the friendship by means of an email. Cold? Yep. But not as cold as she was.

17. When she wouldn’t respect my relationship or the fact that I didn’t want to date her.