Question for people who grew up with toxic/violent parents.

2 comments

1. [removed]

2. No two people’s experiences are alike. But you control how you respond to the events that shape you. Your reaction, your first stop Did This Because Someone Else? That can be trained, but is ultimately out of your hands. Which is to say, your reaction to negative stimuli is in no way your fault. Nor is your response, the thing that you do when you have your wits about you again and get some level of condition of your choices.

   However, you get a say in what your response is. The things that have happened are not your fault, but it is your responsibility – it is in your hands – how you respond to the way you were brought up. You get a choice there.

   I will say, working through this stuff will potentially go much better with some professional help on the side. I’m not saying you’re broken. I’m not saying you need fixing. What I am saying is that I feel everyone in the world should be able to access the services of a therapist, because having a person versed in head science whose goal in interacting with you is your continued improvement and general wellbeing? Well, no two peoples experiences are identical but I wouldn’t have made it this far without it.

   If cost is a concern, your local municipality may be able to assist with finding – outside of Medicaid and the like. There are also various types of services that can be afforded – remote appointments can sometimes be much cheaper than an in person visit, with the added benefit of greater availability.

   ETA: tl;dr. Yes. You can do it. It is possible to have healthy relationships. It will take work to discern what exactly qualifies a healthy relationship as it relates to you, but you can do it.