My husband and I are going through a separation. We’ve been together 7 years. It sounds crazy, I’ve felt neglected and alone for so long, tonight I went back through years and years of old messages (saved through FB, etc) over the years to kind of see where on earth things went wrong. One thing stuck with me, it was our first ever argument.
He had a female best friend growing up and they’d been very close when we met also. Despite finding out through his mom she always had a crush on him, I trusted him that the relationship was just a friendship and I supported their friendship…
Their friendship seemed very strange from the beginning though. She added me on FB very quickly after finding our we were dating and I had never actually met her. She then started liking all my pictures, and messaging me acting super friendly trying to find our everything about me.. and since it was his best friend I felt honoured and I was excited to be close to her, I was happy she wanted to get to know me and so on… Soon after this I found out she was spreading false rumours about me saying I wasn’t who I claimed to be, how I wasn’t good for my now husband.
Also, when our relationship was made public, her boyfriend at the time added me to Facebook, and my husband saw and immediately started to freak out. He told me if that guy messaged me, not to believe anything he said about him, and told me that he would try to break is up by spreading lies about him and his best friend…. And at that same time, apparently she (his best friend) was threatening suicide.
I asked him if he had a history with her, he denied any kind of history. I felt so uncomfortable and in my gut I felt something off. Eventually I deleted her because of the rumours. Fast forward 7 years. we’re having so many marital problems, separating, and she accidentally added me to Facebook so I know she is still stalking my profile 7 years later.
I feel deep down he has lied about their relationship, but I don’t think I’ll ever get the honest truth….
I don’t know what I plan to gain from this post, it’s late at night, I feel so alone, I guess I’m here to vent my late night thoughts. Thanks to anyone for reading…
3 comments
I am so sorry you are going through this. I can relate a bit to how you’re feeling as I have/am struggling with similar issues with my husband. As someone else commented on my last post—he lacks boundaries when it comes to this issue. I am also currently awake and feeling alone though he is snoring next to me. Sending you a hug, stranger.
…And no, you are not dumb. It’s hard to see through those kinds of things when you’re in it and you love someone.
Wow I’m so sorry you are experiencing this. I think you made the best decision when it came to separating. I know it’s tough but a lot of your relationship seems to have been built on mistrust and deception. That’s not a healthy start.