The weirdest deal breaker ever?

35 comments

1. Wow. The headline did not lie. That’s crazy!

2. She could have been more gracious with how she communicated it for sure, but if that’s a dealbreaker for her it’s a dealbreaker for her. It doesn’t have to make sense to you. If I were to take a wild guess maybe she has personal history with something violent and it’s hard for her to engage with that type of content as entertainment? Anyway, sorry this didn’t work out 🙁

3. I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m close in age to this woman (a little older) and I guarantee that very soon she’s going to have to reevaluate her deal breakers if she wants to form a lasting connection with someone. As a fellow horror, sci Fi and fantasy lover, if someone views that as a deal breaker, well they can just kick rocks with open toed shoes. Letting something like this overshadow who you are as a person is pretty petty IMO. maybe she had a bad experience, but either way, not the person for you.

4. I’ve known more than a couple people who’ve had unsettling, violent experiences in their lives and horror is a trigger they’re just not willing to risk being around.

   Even if it’s books or movies their partner would never insist they read or watch, you’re still getting into a relationship with someone who you’re going to have to insist never talks about or shares one of their key interests. That kinda sucks, frankly.

5. People talk to much too soon….

6. She’s 39? Pathetic

7. Learning lesson my friend. You didn’t take the high ground by sending that last message. You didn’t do anything wrong and the time you’re spending worrying about it is a waste.

   Build some dignity and remember you’re in this game for yourself.

8. She did you a favor. Also, she tested you and you failed. Don’t be too nice with women just play along. Those weren’t actually dealbreakers she just wanted to see how you reacted.

9. I didn’t read past the first line because I’m astounded people actually use coffee meets bagel

10. You took screenshots of your bumble profile for her. Did it have additional pics? Maybe she decided she didn’t like the cut of your jib. Or she had second thoughts for other reasons.

    I’d keep rolling and forget about her asap. Possible she wasn’t serious at any point and just window shopping.

    I’ve encountered weird women on dating sites before and I hit the road when nonsense like this pops up.

11. You’re not crazy, it’s comical at this point, what the hell? Oh well, we can only control ourselves so just move on, and keep your head up, it has nothing to do with you. If it’s somehow a red flag for her then so be it.

12. You dodged a bullet. That’s just ridiculous. I mean, if it was something that dominates your life and you’ve got posters and tattoos everywhere like and obsession, then maybe? But if you just like a certain type of movie and you’re not forcing it in her, then that’s just stupid. It’s not you’re into white nationalism or bestality or something.

13. Literally the same happened to me! I’m a woman and horror is my favorite genre. I mentioned this to a guy on Bumble and he said it might be a dealbreaker as it could be a fundamental incompatibility. I laughed and said that I agree! It’s a fundamental incompatibility for me to date someone who thinks that movie/music/tv/art tastes are a meaningful measure of someone’s character!

    The guy I’m seeing now likes horror, but furthermore, he recognizes that who I am as a person is more important than the kind of media I consume 🙂

14. She’s single for a reason. Her reason is just blaring and obvious.

15. Armpit hair… yes… armpit hair on females specifically.

    First date she asked me my thoughts on girls with armpit hair. I told her that it’s not really my thing.

    She then goes on to tell me that she has a lot of it and that my “preference” was rooted in pedophilia.

    I ended the date shortly after that comment.

16. the horror thing isn’t a dealbreaker for me, but arguing what my dealbreaker should or shouldn’t be is

17. I even know about blizzard/activision. I could see why that could be someone’s dealbreaker. Based on how you responded I have a feeling you missed out for more than just a film genre.

18. It’s because you referenced her age as being older by saying “it’s not a dealbreaker.” It implies being 39 is a problem for most guys but for you it’s okay which hurts so she probably just said that to insult you back.

19. I’m (31F) a huge horror fan. If I was looking for a partner and they said “anything horror related is a ‘no-no’ for me” I’d be like okay, peace! It’s a huge part of my life and I couldn’t imagine wanting to be with someone I’d have to hide that from. At least she was honest with you upfront about it.

20. No deal breaker is weird. Simple association is enough. Maybe she had an abuser that likes horror. We don’t need reasons to like who we like.

21. I mean any deal breaker is fair game really

22. I am triggered by horror and even dystopia. So I feel for her. And I would not consider asking someone to drop it for my own sake . I just go away. In the present case I would not come near. As lover or friend.

23. Now you know why she’s 39 and still single.

24. Dude, honestly who cares? She had a problem with you being into horror, not you. So it’s her issue. Why do you take it personal? Never question your own likes bro! You are who you are, and the more you accept that, the quicker you will get rid of the people who don’t like you for who you are. I’m sure there are plenty of people out there celebrating you for who you are, exactly as you are, without needing to change one bit about your interests. Stick to them and forget all the people who try to make you feel bad about yourself.

    Next time, if someone says something so ridiculous to you, just say “Ok.” and move on. Everything else is a waste of your time.

25. It probably wasn’t the appreciation for horror, but whatever her hang-up really was/is, that’s on her, not you, since she didn’t bother to explain anything. Could be she was even just feeling you out without any other intent.

    Ladies can have whatever red flags they like, but they’re not really your red flags if you don’t know about them. Just move on and move forward man.

26. I conducted a focus group for people on dating apps once. One woman said that she’s pickier on apps than in person.

    I asked what she meant. She said “Like, if a guy’s favorite movie is Die Hard. That’s a deal breaker for me on a dating app. But if he told me that in person, I’d ask more questions to learn why before deciding it’s a deal breaker because maybe he has a good reason.”

    Another girl chimed in. “Yeah. Like, on a dating app, I would turn someone down because their name was Kevin. I would never do that in-person.”

    People be crazy, man.

27. I always side eye someone who likes horror. There’s people who will like to watch it, and then there’s people that get a weird bloodlust over it. It’s the second group of people I try to avoid. Psychological thrillers, campy ghost/creature movies I’m fine with – but gore/torture/rape-revenge – if people say this is in their top 10 I nope out.

28. My dealbreaker is mustard if they like yellow mustard. And yes, I know that’s like the weirdest thing in the world but I can’t stand it.

29. Some people think that liking horror films is some kind of weird “tell” that gives away some sinister aspect of your character, like everyone who enjoys them must be some kind of psychopath in the making.

    Next time you meet someone who hates horror, ask them if they listen to true crime podcasts. The results may be entertaining.

    But yeah, if she was that uptight over something as silly as a genre of film/novels, you dodged a problem person for sure.

30. No deal breaker is unreasonable. Period. She’s definitely not off her rocker.

31. To me it sure sounds odd, don’t care what genre people enjoy. The closest I’ve encountered was someone I met only wanted to date those who liked the same kind of music they did.

32. As a big horror buff myself, Ive had a date run out of my house when they saw my horror collection. (Posters, movies, figures). I make it a point to only date other horror buffs now. It’s just easier for me.

33. There are more than 7 billion people on this planet. Her deal breakers are hers. End of story. Move on.

34. Wow. This whole scenario sounds like two young teenagers. Smh. We’re doomed if this is what it’s like in your 30’s now, or approaching 40.

35. In another genre, you’d be amazed at the “excuses” that VCs tell startups when they do not invest. Sometimes the sentences put together don’t even make sense.

    She just did not feel like pursuing.

    I would just move on!