Using a throwaway for this. For context, I’m on the pill and take it regularly.
This situation started out as a bedroom thing, he has a breeding kink and I love how turned on he gets when I beg for his child. But recently he’s been telling me he’s going to “get rid of your birth control” and “maybe the pills will stop working” during sex and every time I take them and he’s around I catch him giving me a kind of unsettling smile that makes me pretty uncomfortable. I’m not really sure when I started noticing that look but he may have finished in me while he started looking at me like that. I’m on vacation with family so he’s not with me but I’m not sure if I’m being paranoid or not. The pills look normal and the packages don’t look tampered with. Is there any way he could have messed with them? I’ve gone through a few pregnancy tests and I’m really freaking out.
43 comments
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i would try to have a sit down conversation with him expressing your concerns and where you are in your relationship. it seems you are not ready to have a child and he is so i would just make these things clear to him. if he is actually trying to sabotage your birth control leave him. he could also be joking but again i would try to express these concerns with him if the relationship is important enough to you
Some birth control can be tampered with by microwaving it.
Yikes… not going to lie, I’d be out if I even started to suspect something like this because it’s so… yeah.
Anyway, given that the packages don’t look tampered with, it’s hard to say… I’ve heard horror stories of things like microwaving them, as temperatures above 86 (says Google) can make them less effective or ineffective.
If you plan to stay with him, I would at least keep the pills on you.
Omg I’d break up just on the mere suspicion that my bf is trying to do this. Sorry but I don’t fuck around with this kinda BS ’cause I don’t wanna find out, if you get what I mean. If he’s not with you right now, then that’s good. Don’t let him access to your BC at all. Don’t tell him where you keep it. Keep it somewhere not easily accessible by him. Honestly, like I said, I’d just break up.
Runaway. You don’t trust him on a topic you very much need to trust him
I mean, if someone is determined to tamper with birth control I definitely think it could be done without you knowing. I don’t know if your boyfriend is or not.
However, I think there is a major relationship issue if you truly think this. If it’s at the point you are taking pregnancy tests and writing a Reddit post about this, there is a serious trust issue in this relationship. He may or may not be deserving of that but you think it’s possible your boyfriend is doing something malicious like this behind your back, I feel that’s kind of the mail in the coffin for this relationship.
Please get away from this man! Tampering with birth control is considered sexual assault in some places, and even if it isn’t illegal where you live, it is *very* coercive and downright shady. You won’t be safe with him.
You need to have a conversation with him outside the bedroom and establish boundaries surrounding this kink. Tell him what you’re comfortable and uncomfortable with and clarify that this is pure fantasy. It’s also okay to tell him you’re not comfortable with it at all.
I would also put your birth control somewhere he can’t access just to be safe, or consider a form that can’t be tampered with like the IUD.
Yes, he could have microwaved them, I’ve read.
I would suggest you get on another form of birth control that you don’t take daily, like a norplant, if you are able to.
How do you benefit from being a relationship with someone you distrust this much? (And rightfully so I might add!) He HAS tampered and will CONTINUE to tamper unless you make your exit or get pregnant.
There are lots of ways he could’ve tampered with it without any visible damage showing. You may want to consider a slightly more effective form of birth control?
However, the greater problem stands. You’re in a relationship with a man who you don’t trust, and who possibly might be sabotaging your birth control without your consent. You shouldn’t be with him.
Why do you want to have sex with someone you don’t trust?
Why do you want to stay in a relationship with someone that creeps you out?
Why don’t you break up?
1. Do not let him near your pills.
2. Do not have sex with him.
3. Run.
Yes, there are ways to damage birth control pills without leaving visible evidence. Some don’t even take that long to do. And it sounds like he did something to them, judging by how he’s acting. You’re going to end up “accidentally” pregnant if you stay in this relationship.
If you’re worried, switch to BC that cannot be tampered with, like Nexplanon implant in the arm, or an IUD. Far more reliable than pills which can also be tampered by a 3rd party.
What did he say when you ASKED HIM ABOUT THIS
I think it is a great idea to stay in a relationship with someone you don’t trust. You go girl.
Yes. Microwaving them can cause them to not work due to the temperature increase. Doesn’t take much and wont be noticable.
At the very least, stop having sex with him. Get birth control that can’t be sabotaged. Arm implant or IUD. Preferably, break up. Even if he’s not sabotaging, he’s being creepy as hell.
That’s considered rape in Canada
Look, whether he’s tampered with it or not, it’s clear that his comments have led to a lack of trust in him on your part. I personally wouldn’t be able to continue a relationship with someone I don’t trust, *especially* when it comes to birth control and pregnancy, but what’s acceptable for you and what is not is up to you to figure out.
**However**, it seems like pregnancy isn’t something you want at the moment and, whether or not you decide to stay in this relationship, the following advice applies:
If you do not want to get pregnant right now (or even later on, at 21 chances of a dr agreeing to a tubal ligation are very low) and don’t want to risk the possibility of someone tampering with it (or the stomach flu, user error, etc.), please look into IUDs (hormonal or copper), the implant or the Depo Provera injections ASAP.
Time to break up, you can’t trust him and without trust, there isn’t a relationship.
Girl, the very fact you are thinking this and concerned with this IS enough of a reason to break up. Healthy couples don’t have these concerns and tbh I’ve never seen breeding kinks brought up in a way that didn’t end in some weird shit like this.
Fucking eww. Motherhood is in your near future and it’s awful
Yes, he is. You might wanna plot your exit strategy coz he wants to entrap you by impregnating you.
Yeah no. Time to break up. Never gave sex with him again.
A healthy relationship is based on trust and communication. You don’t seem to trust him. If you can’t trust him then don’t date him. And follow your gut if you think something is wrong it probably is.
Girl, seriously, if you can’t trust him with this then you need to leave.
Having a child is literally the biggest and most important thing you will ever do. It will change every aspect of your life and there is no going back, for better or worse. If you don’t want to be tied to this man for the rest of your life then you need to leave
Make it clear, in no uncertain terms, that you do NOT actually want to get pregnant now and make sure he knows that that sexual and reproductive coercion is a punishable offense in many places (hopefully yours)
You could get an IUD, but you should dump him
No longer have sex with him. This is unsafe
Abortion access in the United States is under attack. I assume you are not trying to get pregnant because you take birth control. This is a scary situation and I would suggest talking to him – and have your mom, sister, best friend scheduled to call you five minutes into the conversation to make sure you’re okay
Run, drop the dude. That shit is wrong on so many levels.
This jerk is playing with your mind more than your body. He’s either immature, crazy, or both. Leave him and concentrate on dating a man, not a boy.
Run – this is just weird.
Why are you continuing to have sex with a man you don’t trust not to tamper with your birth control? If you want to double check, go to your gyno, explain, and they can run a blood test to make sure you’re at the right levels.
If it is a kink and nothing more that is something I would discuss outside of the bedroom and be very serious. BUT I don’t think anyone should be with someone they don’t trust. Or someone that would make them feel uncomfortable.
It sounds like he’s trying to trap you. The things he’s saying might sound innocent enough but please consider he’s giving himself away. Girl, run. He could have microwaved them. He said “maybe they’ll stop working”. He is HOPING they will. Why would he think that?
Don’t know anything else about your relationship but someone trying to force you to create a human being is NOT something you need to accept. This is your life and he could be trying to change it, forever, without your input. Run. You are only 21 and you don’t need this in your life.
You’re not freaking out, you’re afraid of confrontation & consequences. Maybe you are afraid that you’ll have to leave him if you do find out he’s been tampering with your BC idk but talking to people on Reddit about it shouldn’t have even crossed your mind cause none of us are at risk of purposefully getting you pregnant & changing your entire life forever, your boyfriend is so you HAVE to talk to him about this or simply break up. Cause at this point you are literally asking strangers on the internet what you should do about your boyfriend that you suspect is trying to violate you by trapping you with an unwanted pregnancy for a kink ………girl you gotta worry about yourself a little better than this. People are literally dying trying to get abortions in certain places and idk where you are but you shouldn’t play with your own life like this. Talk to that man and get your answers quickly! Best of luck to you 🫱🏽🫲🏾
Yeah do not have sex with him again he will trap you and ruin your life.
Break up. Block and delete.
Abuse does not get better with time.
Sooo everyone is telling you to break up with him and I 100% agree with everyone.
But if you are determined to stay with him and won’t listen to everyone, consider getting the shot or implant….at least this way you know he can’t tamper with it.
But again, why would you stay with someone you can’t trust?
Honestly I’d get an emergency contraceptive if you’re able to (like Plan B,) and if it hasn’t been too long since you guys were last intimate. And I’d also get new birth control on the off chance he did mess with yours, maybe tell your prescriber that something happened to yours.
This is definitely grounds for ending the relationship if he truly did something to your pills. Ask him and if he admits or you believe he is lying about it if he denies it, leave. That’s unacceptable and unforgivable to tamper with your body and your life over a fucking kink.
If you don’t want to leave him, replace your birth control and keep it locked somehow.