So, about a year ago the girl I liked chose my friend over me (not the first time this has happened).
But my bitterness does not stem from being looked over (maybe a bit, tbh). It stems from the fact that my friend wanted to manipulate me knowing I was interested in this girl.
You see, my, now former, friend is kind of manipulative. He is type of guy with a lot of charm and capable of bending things his way. He’s had A LOT of success with the ladies. I, on the other hand, have not been that lucky. Let’s say I’m single AF. There’s a few things I have been working on, but I believe my shortcomings should not be perceived as inadequacy when it comes to dating.
So, we were both interested in this girl. I stated my interest first, then a few weeks later he decided he was interested as well. At the moment, a sense of self-defeat overcame me. I wondered: how could I compete with this guy?
Anyways, we talked about it but we didn’t reach a conclusion and each shot their game.
During this process, he tried to manipulate me and use me as his pawn for one of his “moves” knowing I liked this girl. I stood up for myself (something I haven’t done before) and did not fall for his gimmicks. After this, I decided to distance myself from this guy and cut our friendship short.
In the end, she chose him over me. She may have chose him because he was more attractive, more charming, or for any other reason. God knows. She’s entitled to her own choices and I respect that.
The thing is that I’m still bitter about this whole situation. I want to move on completely.
I got some really good things going for me. I’m actively training for 2 endurances sports events, I will attend one of the most prestigious business schools in the world, and I’m in the path of (eventually) reaching my goals.
However, I want to move on. My dating life is a disaster and I have gotten used to losing when it comes to love and relationships. Sadly, I’m starting to think that when it comes to dating, it pays more to be a little bit sociopathic and Machiavellian.
What’s your best advice?
PS: I’m 30 years old, and yes, I have talked about this with my therapist.
2 comments
First get your confidence up. I noticed that you paid attention to a lot of the attractive things about him, but you didn’t really talk about any of the attractive things about yourself.
You also have to detach yourself from the end result. Not every chick that you like will like you. Doesn’t make her bad and it doesn’t make you bad. It’s just is. You gotta keep moving on and find one who gives you the same energy. It’s a numbers game don’t stop.
The energy that you put out there is the energy that you’re going to receive.
>I got some really good things going for me. I’m actively training for 2 endurances sports events, I will attend one of the most prestigious business schools in the world, and I’m in the path of (eventually) reaching my goals.
Wow, good for you! Focus on those things and try not to be so insecure. Attraction isn’t objective, and I for myself like men who are confident and in peace with themselves.