My (23F) best friend/roommate’s (23F) boyfriend (23M) kissed me while we were out last night. We both are visiting the same city and went to bars with mutual friends. After a late night of drinking, we stepped out of the bar to Uber home and he kissed me, claiming he’s in love with me not his girlfriend. They’ve been dating 2.5 years and she’s my BEST friend. I spent half an hour yelling at him that he can’t do that and he needs to tell her what happened.
I feel so wrong. I had no idea he felt this way and that he would kiss me. I feel violated.
How should I tell her? I’m not sure what to do here.
TLDR: best friends boyfriend kissed me and confessed his love and I feel f***king awful
4 comments
Yep, here’s the thing, your friendship is in her hands. What her boyfriend did was unforgivable and now it all rests on you. Tell her immediately what he did or you are keeping secrets, he will more than likely lie and blame you, she may blame you. Either way, tell your truth always, neither of them are worth your time if you can’t tell your truth.
If you lose her friendship because of this, she was never a good friend. You did nothing wrong, unless you stay silent, then you’re conspiring against her. Never keep secrets like this.
Thos is unfortunately one of those kill the messenger situations.
If you tell her then you risk her wrath, if you don’t tell her and she later finds out then you’ll also risk her wrath.
Unfortunately the lesson you”ll learn from this is not to ever hang out with your GFs BFs when they aren’t present.
Well, what a complicated situation … sorry it happened to you OP 😕 She is your bestfriend, and regarding to your relationship, I think it’s better to tell her what happened.
She will pass by every negatives emotions, and it is normal, yet, NOT your fault, by what you are saying. It recquiere a lot of maturity to deal with these kind of situation.
You will have to give her space during this time, because she may not be able to consider you.
Well, how long do you still have to be roomate with her ?
Is there any way you can change of house for a moment ?
About the guy, he has been very clumsy… Was he drunk when it happened ?
If you think that he is sincere, You will have to tell him that, despite you respect his feeling for you,
– Didn’t you appreciate the way it has been imposed to you,
– whatever he decides to tell his gf or not, you will have to do it by honesty and respect for your bestfriend
– regarding to what happened, it will be better for you to cut ties with him for now
If you can do that by message or vocal, it will be better, there will be a proof.
Yet, still be careful, how does he manages his emotions ? Can he be agressive ?
Streghthen yourself as well, it’s going to be difficult, but at least, you may have a feeling loyality to yourself and your friend.
Yet, whatever you decide, it’s up to you and no one can judge.
Good luck to you 😊
Get to her first.
Also, unbeknownst to you, he may have a history of cheating
The scenario that you described is perfect for a “What happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas” moment.
Why would he try this away from home and not in your current city?
If he ‘truly’ felt that way, he would break up with your BFF, give a lot of space time wise and then maybe approach you or look for a woman that embodies the character traits that he ‘loves’.
Well, whatever his deal is, get in front of it.
If you are back in your home city, get to her face-to-face.
If you are still away, get on the phone pronto or FaceTime which ever works for the two of you.
Get angry as this asshole, assaulted you and jeopardized your long term relationship with your BFF.