I’m (23F) and my boyfriend(38M) doesn’t want to have sex with me anymore…
I do try (not forcing, just asking) but every time he says he is “too tired”.
We have been together 2 yrs and it’s been this way for about a year. I feel like he isn’t attracted to me anymore 🙁
It isn’t anything to do with a lifestyle change, we both have the same jobs and the same time for each-other, but our sex life used to be amazing and now it is horribly dry…
I can’t pinpoint what the problem is other than he doesn’t feel the same way about me as he used to, we will go for months without having sex… I just feel like it just isn’t normal for a couple who have only been together 2 years?
I have tried to speak to him multiple times about this but he has simply said that it is because he is tired…
I understand that we do have a bit of an age difference, but I don’t want to excuse it for age, as it was never a problem previously.
I don’t know what to do now, it has got to the point where I feel like I need to give him an ultimatum, or leave him.
I’m young and have a high sex drive, but will compromise if need be, but once a MONTH? That is not reasonable…
What should I do? Clearly voicing my concerns about this is not getting through to him, or he just doesn’t want to sleep with me anymore.
Should I break up with him? I really need some guidance right now as this is tearing me apart 🙁
Thank you for reading
Tl/Dr: my boyfriend wont have sex with me and I’m not sure why as we have only been together for two years. Nothing in our relationship has changed…
3 comments
This is very much about the age difference because guess what happens to men who are approaching their forties?
Their testosterone is starting to decrease.
And guess what? That happens no matter how hot-to-trot their partners are.
So yes, it is perfectly reasonable to assign this to his age. Has he been to the doctor?
let him know you want to have a serious discussion. I did see that you tried to approach him before with no success, but maybe if you communicate that it’s making you second guess the relationship, he will be more open to the conversation? intimacy is important in a relationship. I would give him a chance to make things better. but if he flat out denies there’s an issue or refuses to come to a compromise, then it might mean you aren’t compatible anymore. it’s OK, people change and grow apart, that’s not unusual. what is unusual is his seemingly unwillingness to hear you out and make an effort.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment.
Yes I have spoken to him multiple times and got quite upset recently when discussing it, as he seems to give the same explanation.
Unfortunately if I could put it down to a lifestyle change I would, but I cannot as he has had the same job for years now and the same responsibilities/ hours.
Very vague and similar answers every time we have this conversation.
It has genuinely affected me where I will go to bed in tears thinking he doesn’t care for me anymore…
To he honest he usually sleeps on the sofa now as he says the bed is uncomfortable.
I think it may he time to just call it quits…